Lost, but trying to get back again

Hi Everyone,

It's been awhile since I have been on this board, unfortunately.  The past few years I have had a lot of changes since my surgery (1/24/09).  Divorce, job issues, and a big move across the country.

Initially my weight was at 333.  I currently weigh, on this morning's scale, 277.  I haven't done very well in the past 2 years, and seem to have fallen off track (been gaining weight back, about 10 lbs).

So, today I decided to start over again and get back on track.  The hault in weight loss, and eventual weight gain, is due to breaking the rules: I've eaten out (A LOT), drank with meals, even had pop.  I don't think my pouch has been damaged, as I feel restriction many times (I just drink to get more down), so I'm lucky there.

I currently picked up short-term contract work with my previous company.  This requires me to get independent Health Insurance.  Even with that, I'm not sure I can afford the regular check ups from a surgeon here (if there is one in the area), because of the high deductables.  I'm not in a position to lay down $600 for an adjustment.  Plus, I am very shy of going back to a surgeon's office.  If my weight loss wasn't high, it was a disappointment.  This is because weight was always an issue I was picked on about...not from friends or the public, but my family.  I tend to be oversensitive to the issue, and I always felt like I was falling short of expectations...big time.

Anyways, the best I can do now is start abiding by rules.  Exercising reguarly, eating healthier, not drinking with meals.  It's going to be a struggle since I relapsed straight back into bad habits.  The good thing is that my portions are still controlled.

I wish everyone the best and look forward to getting back into the groove of things.  Right now I am looking up local support groups.

Take Care

How about looking at it a different way? congratulations you've kept 56 pounds off!!!! Wow!! While doing two of the most stressful life events on a stress scale! So, welcome back and do what you can do- those are great changes. What really gave me a good kick in the butt was Jean McMillians book "Bandwagon" its often advertised here. If you can't do the book I'd really suggest getting her e-mail newsletters. Note: I get no money endorsing the book. I just got the benefit of her wisdom and wit. K

I commend you for attempting to get back on track. I know it's not easy to find that kind of motivation. It's even harder to really do what you know you should and want to be doing. I'm going through the same damn thing myself.

Perhaps if we start holding each other accountable we'll get there. So I'm starting. How was your exercise today or do you have a plan? I'm going for a walk this afternoon.