Just curious

I come here often and rarely post but I have been in kind of a "funk" lately and sometimes feel like even my closest friends would take this the wrong way so thought I would ask here...first off let me start by saying that the decision to have wls is one of the best decisions i have ever made in my life and I don't regret it in the slightest. It has been HARD WORK and I am so damn proud of myself I can't stand it sometimes! That being said, i am just curious if anyone else has experienced a sense of "let down" for lack of a better word when they have gotten substantially down? like I almost feel like having been fat my whole life, that I blamed every problem I had on the fact that I was overweight and that somehow magically if I were thin, all my problems with my marriage etc would go away too? And here I am 80 pounds lighter, not having been this weight since high school, and what do ya know, all the other crap in my life is still there! Lol...
Again, I physically feel amazing and I am doing things I never thought I would...first trip never to Maui coming up in ten days and I am zip lining while we are there, something which a year ago I would have been over the weight limit for! Just wondering if anyone experienced this and how they dealt with it.? I did a lot of counseling preop and I think there may be a little more in my future...thanks listening to my rambling post!

:)  yep . I have hid behind FAT for so long !!!! Now sometimes i feel like .... how do i handle this or even with clothes before i would wear alot more revealing things and now i am lik e....ohhh nooo.LOL I have not dealt with it yet i just supress it all but i kow what you mean.It is hard to get rid of the FAT GIRL in your head !!!!  i fight with her all the time .

Thank you! I feel like I have to be so careful sometimes...friends who have never been overweight just don't understand at all and I feel like friends who are struggling to loose think "geez! Will this girl ever be happy!" so glad I'm not alone

 Totally get it, but once you stop blaming the fat, you start dealing with the stuff you didn't deal with. It will get better. It takes time and effort, just like losing the weight. You will start taking care of the other stuff too, and yes life will suck sometimes, but less.

I can totally relate.  Someone had recently posted info on a book called, "When Food Is Love" by Geneen Roth.  I haven't finished it yet, but the author writes all about how she knew once she was thin, all her problems would disappear and she would feel totally loved and completely happy.

If you want to read a couple of pages from it, go to the following link and click on the pic of the book.  I am finding it very eye-opening.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452268184


I have 2 siblings that have a LOT of money (I call it "F-you" money).  You'd think they'd be happy, but they're not.  They work too much, one doesn't spend much time with the kids, complains constantly, etc.  You can use any situation you want and say, "When I ____________ (get thin, make more money, get married), THEN I'LL BE HAPPY.  Just like money can't buy happiness, I guess being thin can't either.

When I get in my "funks", I look at a list I made awhile back - sort of a Count Your Blessings list.  And I say out loud how blessed I am to have all I have.  Each day on this board, Vivian does a grateful post.  A couple of times I have added my own.  I also think the counseling thing is never a bad idea.  Just some thoughts...

You'll snap out of this.  I'm sure you will have an AMAZING trip to Maui.  Be sure to show us some pics of you zip lining (that's one on my bucket list).

~ Barbara

Maybe it matters if you were thin and gained weight.  I was thin till my early 20's and then I started to gain.  Now that I am losing lots of weight I don't feel anything but happiness and excitement.  I feel like I am going back to the body I was meant to have (the body I was born with).  I think also because I was thin I know I had problems back then and I never thought my problems would go away if I lost my weight...except for the normal problems like high blood pressure.  I do see some changes like I am more confident and I like the way look more (I hated looking in the mirror).  So those kinds of things are changing.  But I never thought it would solve financial problems or improve relationships.   

My daughter's uncle had band surgery also and he came up to me at Christmas and asked if I was scared to lose weight...and I said "Heck no I can't wait to be skinny"  hahaha.  So it is a common worry, fear, concern.  That thankfully I don't have. 

Ther-a-py, Ther-a-py, Ther-a-py!

Seriously, losing weight opens doors you didn't even know existed.  And when you're bombarded with issues going on, there is no where for you to go but down.  Please look into a therapist.  I talk to mine once a week and omgoodness she helps me like crazy. 

I agree, therapy could help!!  I haven't even done the WLS and I'm in therapy.  lol.... One thing that helps me too and I don't do it every night... I seem to gravitate to it when I am in a funk or feel like I need to self reflect is.. I write in this book that someone gave me years ago.  Its a cute little diary.  I typed up the jist of daily log...(below), then on the back page I write about where I'm at in my life.  It's nice to skim through it over the years and see how I've changed.  Like my own little blog or journal.  Here are jist of the ?'s...

Right now I am feeling….           This is what I did today:           What is one thing/person today that made me happy:           What did I do for someone else to make them happy:           One thing that made me angry today and how did I handle it?         I am proud of myself because of this: 

hang in there girl

Years ago I lost 125 pounds on WW.  Tons of compliments and I felt so good, but then once I got close to goal, the excitement of it turned into real work to keep from gaining and I failed.  This time into it, I knew I could lose the weight, it was the maintaining that I thought about, even before the surgery.  I know now that the band is what is really helping me at this point in my journey.  I have enjoyed each part of the journey getting to this point.  I went into this knowing that life wouldn't be peaches and cream once I got to goal.  So what you are feeling is normal.  Celebrate each day with your improved health! 
Kristi

Thanks so much everyone, I knew I could get words of wisdom here! I like the journaling idea, never done that before! I know deep inside that losing weight is just one part of the solution but I gotta get that fat girl in my head in check!