so pissed I could scream!!!!

I gained 15 lbs.. WTF... I know it is my fault..eating the wrong things and eating to much.. I have been down lately..with all my medical problems..everytime I turn around something is wrong..I just can't get ahead..:( To many damn surgeries..Back in (09), neck and Kidney stones (10) gallbladder (11) and now rotator cff tear.. What the hell else can go wrong?? I just want to hide and eat.. I know I should know better but, I am at a point I just don't care. the pain I have all the time takes over... I feel better when I eat..(dumb move) I am seeing the orthopedic sergeon tomorrow to see when and what he is going to do for the RC tear and the lg. bone spur on my shoulder and then I am comming right home and calling my LP surgeon to get a fill..I have only had one fill in 4/09 (4cc in 10cc band) so I so NEED one.. maybe this will get me back on track again. I can eat alot of food and I know that is wrong.. so I need to start over. The only way I can tell I have a band is if I don't chew enough or I eat to fast. Food goes down way to fast and I don't get full.. will try and keep posting on here because I need the support of my friends.. I have been so bad these last few months and haven't been exerciseing or watching my portions or what I eat.. I just cleaned out the pantry and fridge..The garbage man is going to be pissed at all the bags.. I threw  out, everything that I shouldn't eat.. I told my son if he wants goodies to hide them in his room, and my hubby is to put his out of sight.. (in his tool box in the garage or lock them up).. God give me the strengh to do this.. I have a daughter getting married on July 16th and I want to be healthy and slim for that day.. I am up a pant size 14/16 to an 18..I HATE IT!!! I feel like a beached whale....It is so weird how 15 lbs. can make you fell,,tired all the time, weak..and craving food..I feel terrible.. today I begin another journey...I pledge to over come my faults and take control..I have taken my Lap Band Bible off the book shelf and started reading it again (thank you JEAN)..hugs Lucky

It's hard when your body fights you for every pound, inch and bite...hang in there! 

You are catching this when you've gained only 15 pounds back.  I say only and that might upset you! But imagine if you had caught it and acted on it when  you had gained 50 back? UGH! Haven't we all done that??

Good luck and much strength to you in the coming weeks!!

Minus the surgeries- we are in the same boat Lucky!

we know what we have to do. We can do this.  Get your fill and you'll be more able to get on track. Sooner the fill, the sooner you'll be able to slip back into those 14's.

I commend you for tossing everything naughty out and telling the others in the house to deal with it. I hear so many moms that deal with the guilt of not allowing their families access to the bad foods that they allow the foods to stay. So I know you must be a strong cookie to be able to handle the pressure. Keep it up!!! You'll be healthier and trimmer than you've been in a very long time.

thanks Tif..I really want to get back on track...I knowI said before that I was happy with just that 1 fill but, I am at a point now that I need it..I thought I could be one of those that only need 1 fill, I know better now... If it takes goning back to square one, then I am going to do it.. I am 25 months out so I did do something right.. so far.. Thanks again...Lucky

 I think you are nipping it in the bud. Like a thin person. When they go up a size, they lose that 15 lbs. Be proud of yourself. 

Lucky,
I just wanted to throw my support in.  I know you are frustrated and angry about the weight gain, but you have realized what you need to do to get back on track.  I have to tell myself to just take it one day at a time, and that keeps me from getting overwhelmed.

(((((((Lucky))))))

Ok, enough beating yourself up.   It's over and done with.   It's certainly understandable that you would turn to food to make you feel better.  You'd think we'd learn by now that in reality it does not make us feel better in the long run.  The relief is soooo short lived, then the misery takes over of what we are doing yet once again to ourselves.   You've taken some good steps to get back on track.   It's hard but you CAN do hard things!!  You've BEEN doing hard things!  You've been putting up with pain and medical issues.  Those are hard.   You will feel better now that you've made some positive changes.   You have folks who care about you here and we'll support you all we can.   Just for today, do what you need to do.    Then tomorrow........repeat.

Hugs,
Lyn

First of all...DO NOT EVER SAY...What the hell else can go wrong??

It is like a jinx... It can always be worse...You know that..
But do not beat yourself up.. (easy said, yes?)
Look forward to the wedding and know, wherever you are now, is less than your were....

Only one fill?? Wow, you should get another.. But from what you are saying, that is not the real issue...
I have been at a stall (same 2-3 lbs) for a looong while..
But I know I am making errors in judgement...
If you eat the wrong things, the fill wont help with that..
Be positive and you know you can do it!!  You did it before...
You have the technology (Bionic man refernce)
Good Luck!!!

Oh you can do this!!!  You caught it at 15 lbs...and that will be gone by the wedding.  

By the way my daughter is getting married June 26th...and I am also hoping to be smaller by then.  We''ll have to check in with each other and see how we're doing.