Out of control...

I have recently had a few really good emails with Jean and she has given me SO much good advise...so what do I do today/this a.m.?  Eat like a freakin pig.  WHY do I jeopardize myself like this?  For what?  So I can feel icky and sick and disgusted the rest of the day?  So, since I've had my "fill" of food this a.m. that I should NOT have had, I am committing to you all on this board in this post that I will have a good "rest of the day" in my food choices and will NOT allow myself to eat something that is not good for me.  And not just for the rest of the day but in continuum.  I need to write down so I can see it in front of my face how awful I feel after eating foods that are "not good for me" and how good weight loss feels and food doesn't.  I've been yo-yo-ing with 2/3 pounds up or down for quite a while now and know when I am back on track the scale will move again with me.  I was supposed to have a fill yesterday, got to the docs office, waited 20 minutes then was told he was still in surgery for another 40 minutes...hello, I am working so of course I couldn't wait...so back to work I went - off Monday from work but have to come back into town to see him to get the fill I was supposed to get yesterday...very frustrating...I think my mind is playing tricks - it was like I was all prepared for the liquid diet after the fill and when I had to leave without it it's like my brain said "ok you can eat now" and boy have I...I do NOT want to jeopardize my band - this is my 2nd chance (I'm also a rny patient) and I feel very lucky to have been able to have another chance and I don't want to ruin this...anyway, thanks for being there - always a work in progress...

Don't beat yourself up too much.  I am sure every single one of us have eaten things we shouldn't in a moment of weakness...Hell I have had whole days of weakness.  I consider myself a Band success- I have lost 140 lbs and have 50 more to go.  And I have had my times that I ate something I shouldn't and wish I hadn't.  I try not to let it get me down.  I am food addict and I will have to battle this food demon inside of me for the rest of my life.  Sometimes I will win and sometimes the food demon will win. 

At least now when I cheat it's 4-5 cookies not the whole package....hahaha

Thanks for your words of encouragement...yes, "binges" are still better than they were "pre-band" that is for sure!  Just have felt some extra stress (and I'm tired - not sleeping good) and I believe it's true what they say "don't get too tired hungry lonely something to that effect.  I saw the pics you posted on an earlier response and wow...you LOOK GREAT!  You have done such a fantastic job...it's so good to see such success cause it lets everyone know that it does and can work for you!  Have a great rest of the day!

That is what is so nice about this board and life- we can start again at any moment and make the committment. And if you are talking about Jean M. author of Bandwagon- its a really great source. Give yourself one more try! K

Don't beat yourself up too much - tomorrow is a new day...but glad to see your acknowledgement and commit to change your ways, too. :)  You can do this, Sapph!!!  Why don't you start to log your menus on the bandster board's "What I'm Eating This ____day" thread and see if that helps with accountability? Hugs...I'm here for you every step of the way, BOBster buddy!