Bariatric inlaw from hell

So now that I have a date for my surgery, I have telling my work Ill need off, Telling family and talking to my teenage boys about what Ill need from them after the surgery... such as helping out more around the house as I recover.  Ive been soooo excited about the fact that my surgery is less than a week away.

Just a piece of back info on me.  I don't have any family of my own but my husband is the 12th of 13 kids.  soooo I have ALOT of in laws.  (unfortunately)

Sooo I get a call from my sister in law today who had bypass about 6 years ago.  She says,  I talked to your son today and he said you will be out of work a few weeks and that they Will be helping out more.   She then said.  I told him that this is ridiculous because I had the same surgery and I went  to work at the grocery store the day I got out.         Now I wasn't around when she had her surgery, but it really pissed me off that she was telling my family that I was trying to milk this for everything I could.  Excuse me!!!!!!     She then proceeded to tell everyone else in the family that I'm making this out to be a bigger deal than it is.  

I'm Soooooo angry!    I dint know what to do.


 

It's none of her business and you are just following doctor's orders.  She didn't have a port attatched to an abdominal muscle.  I was off work for 6 weeks because of weight restrictions.  Tell her that!  Is she a surgeon? 

There's nothing wrong with asking your sons to help out.  It won't kill them.  That's what family is all about. 

Hang in there!  It will be worth the effort!
Kristi

 I am so mad for you.  I took 6 weeks and I needed them.  You are having surgery and you need time to heal.  I know some people are able to go back to work quicker than I did but I honestly needed the extra time.  Everyone is different but your sister in law must be one tough cookie to go back to work on the same day.  I could barely make it to the potty the day I got out.  

Ignore her, she sounds jealous that your sons are going to help.  They must be great kids.

Pam

I'd frankly tell her to Mind her Own business.  Maybe that would ruin the relationship for a bit, but sounds like a small loss to me.

Does your husband have your back?  Have him field any questions or comments if he is the type who can support you in that way.

Or you could tell your SIL that your doctor says that for optimal recovery, that a little TLC in the short run will pay off big later (this I KNOW to be true.. whether or not your doctor says so) and that you're following your doctor's orders.

Frankly, I doubt she was really working the day she got out of the hosp. from a RNY.  Or if she did, she's jealous that you will get more consideration.

Best of luck.

Tell her MYOB !!!
You have to ignore silly people and dont let them bother you..Also not worth getting angry...You do what you have to for you!!!

Just say something like, "Oh I'm so sorry you didn't have supportive people around you to help you. How hard it must have been for you. I'm really fortunate that I have my husband and sons who love me enough to take care of me when I need it. My doctor has ordered me to take it easy for x weeks and I'm not going to put my health in jeopardy just to prove something to anyone."

Great idea on the comment!

She had no business saying anything to you kids. Im mad at her. She needs to mind her own business. Im taking 3wks off because thats what I want to do. Everyone is different and we all recover at different levels. I think she is just afraid you'll have a better outer appearance than she does. You do whats best for you and tell her to get some business.

cece

That's a really good idea "... sorry you didn't have supportive people around you..."  Perfect.  I really hope she feels nasty for her comments.  My doctor told me not even to vacuum as it could cause a hernia!  Anytime someone tells you NOT to do something that involves housework you should ALWAYS listen to them.  lol.  You will have to have time to heal and it'll take what your body needs.  Don't pay any attention to the naysayers!!  Good luck.  We're all behind you here so you go for it and if you need support you let us know!! 

sorry to hear about the negativity.  And, sorry to say it sounds like jealousy. 

Depending on a persons emotional needs, it must be difficult growing up with 12 siblings and then having to fend for yourself.  Every princess deserves throne time sometimes.  Regardless of the amount of benefits, sick leave, income her job at the grocery store affords to her, it's too bad that this was the best her heart could offer. 

I feel a little bad for her (as I do with most bullies and other negative people), but don't let her rain disturb your sunny day.  Thank God for the support you, your husband and your children are enjoying in your home.  You will be a model for at least one member of your extended family.

Shake it off and press forward into your new day.