If you didn't like me at 350lbs I don't like you at 214lbs!!!

I don't know if some of you have come across this yet or not.  I have lost 140 lbs.  I'm still over weight but apparently I am an acceptable amount of over weight.  I have noticed that people that wouldn't even look me in the eye are now saying hi and commenting about the weather or something like that.  Some people might think this is sour grapes but I have a problem with these people.  I am gracious to them outwardly but inside I am thinking "you know I am the exact same person you wouldn't even look at and NOW you want to be my friend...I don't think so you close minded jack ass!!!!".  I only want to surround myself with people that accepted me at 350 lbs.  I don't know how I will screen out the "fat haters" with any new people I meet.  Maybe I will tell them relatively quickly I used to be fat and see what they have to say about that.  Because guess what there's no garauntee that I won't regain some of my weight and become "unacceptable" again. 

The next thing is the other day when I was waiting in line at Walgreens and this heavy woman walked in and the girls behind me made a comment about her shoes screaming in pain...or something really dumb like that.  I would have loved to turn around and tell them that I was just like that woman a year ago and you might be like that too one day...but I just froze there in line wondering if they were saying something about me too.  I wish I would have said something...What would you have said to them? 

I would have loudly screamed, YOUR AN ASS!!! Then politely state, how do you feel now being publicly humiliated?

The world needs to get back to the basic manner....IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T SAY IT AT ALL!!

These experinces I think point out that its still ok to stigmatize people who are fat. It used to be unacceptable to be in a biracial relationship,gay, crossgender, certian ethnic groups. Now- if you slam one of them you are in for it. But fat people- its still ok to be mean and cruel to them! Karen

I would have just told her that was a very RUDE and TACKY thing to say, and that if she felt that way, I hope she  never ended up in that position herself!

Oh and I would probabaly spoke to the manager or perhaps even called the corporate office and complained about how their employee talks about THEIR customers!

Do you think they were/are really fat haters, or just didn't know how to approach you?  

I myself am very shy on the inside and sometimes don't speak to people because of it.  And other times I'm more outgoing to compensate for the shyness.  Weird, I know.

Anyways, I wouldn't peg everyone who doesn't speak to someone as a hater...  I'm sure some might be, but not all.

No these are by no means shy people.  These are the "cool" people at work.  The ones that are all popular with everyone and they go out after work for drinks.  But I was invisiable to them before.  they weren't mean to me or anything just completely ignored me.  I sometimes think what a person doesn't do is as revealing as what they do...

Sunshine I get it...I actually have the same thing happen on dates.. I mean.... I am always jus****ching for a heavy person to walk by... to read the response of my date.... and if they do say something hateful...I enlighten them that they are dating a fat girl in disguise... and when they comment oh no..but u did something u look great... I tell them... yes I did...but I'm still a fat girl... some of the gents have even been told (depending on how bad what they said was...) how does it feel to know that you are out with a fat girl that is ready to go home. 

I also tend to place myself at the gym at times that I know that larger new members will be there and make a point to talk to them and make them feel welcome....exactly what I wish someone had done for me...  Some of them have stuck around and even come to do aerobics with me. I enjoy talking to them :) Never have too many friends :)


Just keep swimming... I'M SOOO PROUD OF YOU :)

Swoosh :)

OMG!!!  I am a single gal and I haven't even thought of dealing with that aspect of things.  I definitely don't want to end up with a guy that wouldn't love me if I gained weight.  Maybe I can find someone that had WLS like me.  We can get into protein war arguments...hahaha

Every once in awhile I see a heavy person working out and I always secretly hope I keep seeing them come in over and over.  Because sadly a lot time people give up.  I should go over and offer to be a workout buddy or something. 

Actually, one of my bariatric nurses had RNY.. and ended up marrying a guy who had RNY.  He's now a college tennis instructor.  I don't know if they had the same surgeon or if it was coincidence.

I'm with Lisa also she brings up a good point. I'm very shy when it comes to meeting new people.  I dont go out of my way to talk to new people I was that way even before I gained all my weight.  I was never a outgoing person that wasn't shy , I have always been the shy one.

But I think overweight people can be just as judgmental also in some aspects.

How many of us dont go to gyms or a exercise class because it might be full of ladies that have hot looking bodies and will stare at us if we try ?

The first thing I asked before I joined Zumba how many of them ladies are in shape that wear the cut off tanks with the six pack of abs and look good .  Right there I think is some aspects  being judge mental , because I assumed that if there was ladies like that they would all stare at me trying to do Zumba so I judged them skinny people.

 
I think overweight people are just as judgmental as skinny people are .  We probably take it harder then the skinny people to do because we are already self conscious of our bodies and lack self esteem .