Gloomy gal here

Just here to write down all that I am feeling about this stuff. I had my Lap-Band surgery in August of 2008. I lost about 50 pounds within the first year, but have tapered off since then. I am still not happy with my weight loss, but I already know why. I have learned that if I eat whatever I want, pack it in until I am almost nauseous, and just a wait a few hours I am fine. I wish I was better at this. I wish I would do all of the things I did for years to loose weight with this great tool. 

My surgeon died in a motorcycle accident last year. I loved him. I really did. I haven't even been back for a check-up since then. I am going to make an appointment for my vacation week coming up, but I don't want to go. I don't want to be there and see all those faces that remind me that he died. He was only 37. I don't want to go.

I have been having trouble not feeling awful. I feel awful almost every time I eat. Even sometimes when I drink. I know I need to go in, but I don't want them to take my fill out and make me come back in 6 weeks. I also know that this entire post could have been written by a six year old child with good writing skills. Just wanted to send it out there. 

Sorry about your surgeon ! I think you will feel better about things after going in and getting back on track with your new Dr. It will be hard to go in but you will feel much better after you get this first visit out of the way. There is no gaurantee they will take all your fluid out just go in and talk about everything and see where it takes you! :) 

Sorry about your surgeon.

But as far as your band and loss are concerend, it really sounds as if you do just have to be brave and go in to see someone. Have you ever tried talking to a counsellor?

Kate

I think you should not only go in, but you should do it with the focus of honoring yourself and your surgeon!  He wanted you to be successful and that is the best thing you could do to honor his memory.  But most importantly, it is because you are worth it!!!

Sometimes just writing down your feelings helps you get over the hump.  Good luck.

I am in a similar place as you regarding a good rate of loss the first year, and then nothing.  Actually gaining instead of losing and knowing it is because I was not making the right choices when I ate and sneaking in those slider foods I knew would not be restricted.  It is the same type of thinking that got us too the point where we went for the surgery, so it is not surprising that we found ourselves back to the beginning.  But we both will get back on the right path because we want to move forward and not back.  It won't be easy but you can do it.

I am so sorry about your surgeon. But as another poster stated, you will honor his memory best by continuing the work he did for you.   I don't think he would want any of his patients to grieve to the point where they give up on themselves.

You don't want to go, but go.  You know you need to do it and you will feel better once you do.  It is a major step in your desire to get back on the right path.

Hug!!
Connie

I'm sorry for what you are going through.  Maybe think about what your surgeon would have wanted you to do.  He'd want you to get as healthy as possible and by taking care of your band that he put in you! 

You physically shouldn't be feeling discomfort with eating and drinking.  Something needs to change.

You don't sound like a 6 year old.  You sound like someone that is grieving and that needs some support.

Hugs,
Kristi