Husband finally ok, kids not so much....

To all of you *****sponded to my post a few days ago about my husband not being as excited about WLS, he has finally realized my struggles. Now it's my kids. I told them the other night about what I was looking into. My one step-daughter was so upset. She said, "But what if I don't like the skinny you?" I did not take offense to this. She has only known me with the extra weight. I explained to her that what I am on the inside will never change. I showed her pictures of me before all of my "issues" and she realized what I was saying. It's funny how kids view us as parents. My other step-daughter told me to go for it. She knows my struggles. My son, who is 17 just nodded and said yeah. Typical of 17 yr old males. Once they realized that their mom was not going in for a lobotomy all was well. I had to share this experience. I found it quite amusing.

LoL that is funny.  Most kids are all about what is on the outside so they think if you change on the outside you will change on the inside too.  Glad they are all coming around though  

Hi Stacy655,

I see that your husband, at one point, had not been too excited about your WLS (I missed that post).  My husband has not been as supportive about my upcoming surgery (3/22).  It's very out of character for him and when I ask him why, he just says that he doesn't think I'll be happy.  I sort of feel very lonely about the whole thing.  However, my mom has been great and I can go to her for help.  Any suggestions, though, about how to deal with hubby?

Hi ren64,

I think the one reason why our husbands seem like they are not supporting us in our journey to be healthy is that they are in some way afraid of losing the person that they have come to know and love. That can be scary. What I told my husband was, I wasn't doing this because I wanted to look like a model or be on the cover of some magazine. I am doing this for me. I don't want to be a diabetic in the next few years, I want to throw my sleep apnea machine in the trash and I want to be the person I was before all this happened to me. I am comfortable with who I am on the inside and he knows this, and somehow it's all been ok.

Don't feel lonely about your wise choice. You are doing this for YOU. Did you ask your husband why he thinks you will be unhappy? Does he think that you won't be able to handle the dietary changes  that you'll have to make? Maybe he thinks that it will affect him and his relationship with food. And it may. But this ren64 is about you. I applaud you for going forward and doing this. I think that your husband will come around. Men have to get used to things. My husband takes his time when making decisions. Me? I jump in with both feet.

Sorry this is so long. One last thing. Take a deep breath and remember on 3/22 you will be starting the first day of the rest of your life!!! Keep me posted.

Stacy655

Alot of times what seems to be unsupportive is really....I'm scared ! Scared something will go wrong in surgery , scared of the life changes that will also effect them ! Scared of how you will change outside and in and you will ....alot.... Things are comfortable now and change is hard . Try to be patient but do sit down and talk to them about how important this is to you . Good luck :)