Acceptance # on scale may not be reached

poohfan72
on 3/6/11 11:03 am
REALIZE Band on 12/08/08 with
So I started this journey weighing 295 pounds. I had surgery in Dec 2008 and now March 2011 I weigh 154. I had set a ultimate goal of 140 maybe 150. I've been at this weight for about 10 months and my doctor's say this is probably where my body feels I should be. I'm not gaining and they don't think a fill is needed that 141 pounds lost, most in the first 12 months is realistic. It's been a rough road sometimes, I've gotten off my high blood pressure and reflux medicines which is great. In Oct 2010 I unexpectedly went to bed Friday night like normal and couldn't get out of bed without help Sat morning. We were suppose to do a family trip to Luray Caverns and I could hardly walk with help. I couldn't feel anything but pain in my right leg, and couldn't support myself with it. Called Dr's office Monday saw nurse practioner she barely cared and gave me pain killers and a referral to physical therapy. Went to assessment and couldn't do anything, had no strenghth in leg, no reflex reaction. Went back to Dr. NP ordered a MRI, 3 days later got results herniated disc had ruptured, fragmented and pressing on nerve, a referral to a specialist who couldn't see me for 5 weeks!!! REALLY I can't walk. Called insurance found a specialist on my own and went 3 days later on Thursday afternoon. He had me in surgery at 8:00AM the next day. He said the nerve in my leg was completely cut off and had been since I woke up that Saturday, the longer it stays that way the more chance of permanent damage. Had to stop all physical activity after surgery for 6 weeks, then start physical therapy to get back reflex, muscle control, etc. I'm still in therapy now in March and they said some control won't come back but most of it has. When I weighed 295 pounds I didn't have a disc issue, now that I've lost weight it just happens in my sleep??? I've taken a good look at my life and self in the last 6 months and I've realized I'm fine if the scale never reaches 150. I can do things with my family and for myself that I couldn't do 140 pounds ago. I went shopping this weekend and tried on a size 10/12 bathing suit. My pants are Medium or Large depending on brand. Prior to the back surgery I could ride amusement park rides with my daughter. At my Hubby's work people have seen pictures of us he has when I was heavy and they see me now and do a double take at the difference. And the one moment that will forever stand out is when my daughter hugged me at Christmas 2009, 12 months after surgery and said "Mommy my arms go all the way around you now with extra room, a real hug". It doesn't matter if the scale is 10 pounds more than a goal I set. As long as I don't gain it back I"m happy. There are things I'd change like the large amount of excess skin I have, doesn't look so good in bathing suits. The DR. estimates if I had surgery to remove it, it would probably take 15 pounds or so off my total body weight but I don't have they money and it's ok. Sometimes people ask questions like a restaurant when they check back and I'm finished eating, alot of times they ask if there was something wrong with it, I didn't eat much, can they get me something else and look at me unsure when I say it was fine. Or if I ask to order off the kids menu and I don't have my daughter. I don't say I"m on a diet to anyone, it's a lifestyle eating change to eat healthier instead of just smaller. I splurge sometimes with ice cream, cheesecake, milkshakes every once in awhile but I understand that may move the scale a pound or so and I have to not do it more than once and a while. SO in closing I'm happy even though the scale may never have reached that magic # I set for a goal
(deactivated member)
on 3/6/11 11:35 am - Des Moines, IA
I really understand where you are at.  My surgeon says I'm at goal, but I have 149 in my head as goal.  BUT I'm not sure if it will happen or not.  And that's okay.  I feel great and look "normal".  I'm very active and love exercising now.  All  I can do is, keep trying to get healthier and in better physical shape.  If the scale moves, I will be thrilled and if not, then this is where I'm supposed to be at. 
Kate -True Brit
on 3/6/11 3:45 pm - UK

I really think that there is a "right " point.

I aimed for 165 as an initial gaol, overshot and went to 139. Accepted I looked awful (took seeing a DVD to show me!). Stayed around 145-148 for a couple of years. Now bounce around 148-154.

And that is where my body seems happy for me to stay. I still do some work to keep it there, but it is "comfortable" for me to stay here.

That is why I set such a high initial goal (165) - I knew that I would still be overweight there but I didn't want to aim for something which might be unrealistic. So by doing that, i came out of it feeling positive! Goal achieved and surpassed! Even though it was not a very "good" goal!

So you are right to be happy! You have done a marvellous job!

Kate

Highest 290, Banded - 248   Lowest 139 (too thin!). Comfort zone 155-165.

Happily banded since May 2006.  Regain of 28lbs 2013-14.  ALL GONE!

But some has returned! Up to 175, argh! Off we go again,

   

(deactivated member)
on 3/6/11 11:17 pm
It sounds like you have had quite a journey, so sorry to hear about your back problem. My husband recently had something similar happen and he may have permanent nerve damage. It was very wise of you to act on your own to get to a specialist and get it taken care of right away.

My surgeon told me my "set point" the weight at which our body just settles in at would be in the 150 neighborhood (I'm 5' 4")   One thing to consider, us obese folks -- at least those of us that have been obese any length of time  have much denser bones that weigh more than the general population, and that 's one of the reasons why we usually end up at a higher goal weight. Plus the extra skin. It's totally okay not not finish this journey at a certain weight we had our mind set on especially when you consider most of us are going to have about 20lbs of "extras" that average people don't have.

I think you've done a fabulous job maintaining your weight for this long. You know how many folks struggle with maintenance? Just think you've been doing it all along! Sure you might be able to lose 10 more, but it would be a constant struggle and it probably wouldn't be worth it. 

Take Care,

Trixie
BluestCat
on 3/7/11 12:57 am
My operating surgeon wants me at 125-130lbs. I am 5' 6.5"
I am very curious where my body will want me to be.
LesleeInGlastonbury
on 3/7/11 1:28 am - CT

The dreaded number on the scale!

First things first - if you are at a weight where your health issues are gone and no long teetering on the borderline of them, then congratulations, you have reached the most important goal in life to be healthy!

The number on the scale takes into account, bones, water, muscle and fat.  We all know that muscle weighs more than in fat when looking at the same volume (1 lb of fat takes up much more room in your body than 1 lb of muscle).  I struggle with the scale each day.  My scale reads between 152-157.  When my trainer does my body fat its been holding at 18% which is pretty lean and my size 4 jeans fit perfectly.

I am also 5'6.5" and if I dropped to 125 I would have about 5% body fat.  When I competed I was at 139 and very thin.  So unless you virtualy have no muscle in your body then 125 is attainable - but you are at all athletic, 125 is absurd!  lol  IMHO having a decent lean muscle mass for a woman is critical in maintaining bone structure to avoid Osteo and to maintain a high metabolism, so important as we reach our middle years and menopause.

Thats just my opinion - maybe ask your doc how he came up with that number??????

Life Begins Outside Your Comfort Zone
The "Band" isn't Around Your Head
Leslee in Connecticut
3/9/09 240 BMI 38% Body Fat 44% Size 18 Measurements 44-36-45
10/9/2010 139 BMI 22% Body Fat 12% Size 2/3 Measurements 35-27-34
Current 155 BMI 24% Body Fat 18% Size 4/5 Measurements 36-28-35
BluestCat
on 3/7/11 3:19 am
The doctor said that I was small boned. Interestingly enough, the social worker who did my psych eval advised that she thought 140lbs was a better estimate for me. I am nowhere near 140lbs yet. I just want to be healthy and where the scale stops, the scale stops.

Jo N.
on 3/7/11 4:44 am - Crawfordsville, IN
I went to my surgeon goal number & then 5 lbs less. I thought "woo hoo I did it!" but when I saw pictures of me at the weight... I was horrified. I thought I had body image problems when I weighed over 300 lbs, but seeing myself at 145 lbs was .... well horrific. I looked sick. Not healthy at all. So... I gained weight.... then got rid of our scales for about 8 months. I've maintained at around 160 lbs & am completely happy there. I look healthy. I look like a natural woman w/curves. I think sometimes we want to go with that number that surgeons give us for goal & think we aren't perfect or beautiful or acceptable until we get there. And it absolutely should not have to feel like that. We should be told to loose weight till we feel healthy and not given a specific number. At least, thats IPOV.. LOL~
Five+ YEARS WITH THE LAP-BAND( 8/31/05)
Highest Weight: 317/Surgery Weight: 267/Lowest Weight: 148
Currently Filled 1.4cc in a 4 cc band APBand
Panniculectomy w/psudeo TT proformed by Dr Bergman 10/8/2009
Need Help With Success? Read a Geneen Roth Book. "When Food Is Love!"

 

Jean M.
on 3/7/11 8:31 am
Revision on 08/16/12
First of all, I want to say how sorry I am about your disk problem, and how glad that you went ahead and found a specialist on your own.

As for the number on the scale...I got to 131.8 (.2 lb below my goal) and didn't stay there very long. My goal of 132 sounds kind of heavy for someone who's only 5'2", but at the time I felt like I was looking a bit scrawny. Now I feel like 135-140 is where my body wants to be. I feel good, I can wear a size 10, I can wear girls' size XL tops and children's size 5 shoes...and it seems crazy to want to weigh less just because of a number on my scale. I'm happy the way I am now.

I think it's great that you're happy with your current weight and able to appreciate all the little things that indicate real success, like your daughter's hug. Thank you so much for posting this, because I think the message of self-acceptance is an important one.

Jean

Jean McMillan c.2009-2013 - Always a bandster at heart
author of Bandwagon (TM), Strategies for Success  with the Adjustable Gastric Band & Bandwagon Cookery. Bandwagon for Kindle now available on Amazon.  Read my blog at: jean-onthebandwagon.blogspot.com 

   

 

 

 

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