Fear of Attention

In November of last year I participated in a photo shoot for my surgeons office. I agreed to have my images used on their website, in their hospital, and alll advertisements. The time is upon me that these will soon go public for the world to see and I'm freaking out!

It isn't like I haven't shared photos before and I am most definitely proud of my accomplishments. But being overweight for so long, I hit behind a wall of fat. It protected me from the world and I was the girl who could always shrink into the corner, disappear and leave out the back door without being noticed. That no longer will be possible!

Last night at support group I listened to praise from my NUT, other WLS patients and our psycologist. They are all extremely excited for me! So how come I'm shaking in my boots & don't feel the same excitement? Fear of attention? Fear that someone will make a comment about the photo? Probably both!

So do you ever get over that fear?

 

 

First of all Pam, you look great!

But you've already answered your own question.  You've been hiding for years behind the old, obese you.  You're not that person any more.  Consider this your "coming out" party!  Yes, you feel exposed in a new and terrifying way, but you know what?  You deserve recognition for your hard work!  Maybe you should spend some time with your old self .  Pull out some before pictures to remind yourself just how far you've come.  Be proud of how far you've come!  This is a wonderful opportunity for you to be a real, living example of someone who has suceeded in breaking those (fat) chains that imprison us and keep us from being our very best selves!  You can inspire others considering WLS and help them find what you've found.  Freedom!

Bless you,

Lisa O.

You look so beautiful in blue!

Pam you look beautiful.  I really love the dress.  Where did you get it from.

Ok this is my take. 

Normal people( and chubby) seem to think that fat people have thicker skins that others , and feel that they can say anything to you (sometimes the most hurtful) and because you are fat you should just accept their truth and suck it up.

The world is a cruel place for fatties.  It really does a number on us.  Now that I look like  a normal size person I still am insecure when I walk into the gym or am clothes shopping.  I can now wear a medium pants and a large top but i still think some one is going to come up to me and say "Shouldn't you be over in the women's section"

I am trying to accept the way I look now.  the next time someone tells me I look good and skinny I am going to stop and say thank you .  Instead of "thanks but I still need to lose a few more lbs before I'm happy"

So Pam - When people tell you , you look beautiful believe them silly.

Thank you for the encouragement Lisa! And thanks for the compliment Jolena! Denise~you will laugh about this dress! I got this dress at 10am on the day of pictures because I still didn't know what I was going to wear. I ran to Kohl's with a $25 gift card and a $10 off coupon and got this lovely dress for $9 out of the door. It was my first time shopping in the Misses section at Kohls and not the Woman's section! And I still have that fear now that I can shop in that section of stores. I'm so out of my comfort zone because I am waiting for someone to say, "who are you kidding woman?!" I need to get over it I know what it is sooo strange to me!

And Lisa, I was fine with my images being on the website, but when I was show the 6ft banner and ideas for the commercial and billboards, I freaked! That's way way public! Like people can be driving down the highway and see me and be like WTF?

OOh I have  coupon in my bag for Khols.  I love that store.

Ok a 6ft banner would freak anyone out LOL

The dress is fabulous -- and the story of it is even better!

I am struggling with 'owning the success' myself.  I have days where I put on my heaviest clothes and shoes and get on the scale ---- and I have to remind myself that 'no matter what I wear, I am still in the 150's ----- it is not going to disappear ---- it is a fact.  I can accept it and stop freaking out.

I worry some days that I will wake up and be 284 pounds again overnight.

I pack for a business trip -- and in the hotel when I wake up, I think, "I only brought the size 8 slacks -- what if today is the day that they don't fit me anymore?"

I think it just takes time to really 'own' it ---- and to stay the course so it stays true.

 Pam I think you look gorgeous

and yes, I completely relate to what you're saying.  I love people complimenting me on my looks and wt loss and yet, I hate having attention called to me.  I'm not sure how you get rid of the fear, I just keep saying thank you for the compliments and then changing the subject.  Seems to work for me.  

Wow, Pam!  You look so beautiful!  I'm so happy for you.  It's  hard for me to learn to just say thanks when I hear a compliment. I tend to say, oh I still have more to lose etc etc....  I'm working on it.

So smile and believe that you look fantastic!  Way to go!

Hugs,
Kristi

GIRL...work it!  You look so good.  When someone tells you that...just say thank you.  Give them a big smile.  You deserve to get all the praise.  You no longer need to hide in the corner!