A bandster pet peeve

Hello

I have a pet peeve.  I go to my surgeon's support group and I will hear people talk amongst themselves and some of things I hear just annoys me.  My surgeon is very strict about several things like:  no carbs the first year after surgery (except from veggies and fruit).  or no coffee, soda or caffeine of any kind the first year, or no liquid calories at all.   Well I hear people talking about eating lots of pasta, or not wanting to give up their Lattes (or whatever it is they can't give up) or not wanting to stop drinking while they eat.  The surgeon's staff clearly outlines the band rules and the surgeon's rules BEFORE the surgery.  They make us go to classes so it is communicated to all of us what OUR part is in this journey.  If people are not willing to follow the rules why would they go through with the surgery???  Then they complain they can't lose weight or that the band isn't working!!!

I realize that some people have the intention of following the rules but after wards realize how hard the rules are to follow (especially when you are in Bandster Hell..I had my issues too) but the people I'm talking about almost seem defiant...like saying "I don't care what he says I'm drinking my coke anyway" or "Seriously no pasta for a year what is he thinking"  these are sentences I have heard from people.  Do they not realize these are the very things that made them fat and that attitude will keep them fat???  

I had a lot of ups and downs with my band and sure I gave in to temptation...often at first.  It's a learning curve.  But the difference is I knew I was in the wrong and needed to change my behaviors.  I wish people would take responsibility and be honest with themselves because they are only hurting themselves.       

NOTE- I am only complaining about the people that clearly don't follow the rules not people that are truly struggling in spite of their efforts and are following the rules or people that have had medical issues due to the band.  I really feel bad for those people.

 yeah I know and then they wonder why they aren't losing?!?!

Dunno...pasta has alot of CARBS.  maybe?

I sometimes have a treat or two...but I account for it and move on.  

I could not agree more.  I see examples of that very syndrome every day on this board. It is a frustrating thing to hear and almost an impossible thing to counsel people who have this attitude.  I've come to the conclusion that it's just not worth even trying.  People have to make their own mistakes - whether they learn from them or not is under their control, not ours.  Be strong in your own convictions and lead by example and you'll have done all you need to do.

Well yes and no! Doc's rules for the band safety are obviously paramount. But once we get used to eating properly, many bandsters find that a rigid diet simply makes them focus all their energy on food.

So I have always eaten every food. My aim was to eat like a normal (i.e. slim!) person. And that is what I do. I was given a diet to follow but discussed it with my nut. She agreed with me that, as long as the safety element was followed, it should be up to me to take respnsiblity for the speed of loss. So if I choose to eat pasta and my band allowed me to, that was fine - as long as I realise that loss might be a bit slower.

If I had to cut out many foods, I would do as I did before my band. Lose well and then blow it!

Kate

I hear ya, Kate. But there are some people (I am one of them) who cannot ingest high-glycemic carbs without going off the deep end. And therefore, like a recovering alcholic, I will never be able to "eat just one" cookie, potato chip, piece of cake, etc. Thin people "who eat like thin people" (such as your lucky little self) do not have this issue. Many obese people DO have this issue but have not acknowledged it, which is why they cannot successfully lose weight - they continue to "eat everything in moderation" and their weightloss is either painfully slow or becomes totally sabotaged when they try to eat high glycemic carbs "in moderation". (I am not talking about veggies and whole grains, so please let's not start the carb wars again!).

My point is, I do NOT feel deprived because I can't have a cookie. It's just something I don't eat any more, along with processed food and anything that contains sugar/honey/molasses or whatever. It has take me a very long time to get to this point, but I finally understand what my body will or won't tolerate and it works for me. Do I sometimes wish I could have a piece of that birthday cake slathered in buttercream icing (a former favourite)? You know, 6 months ago I would have said yes. Today, the answer is no. My instinct for survival these days far outweighs any longing for a food that my body cannot process properly and subsequently begin a downward spiral that I can't control (because I am, and always will be, an addict).

Hi, rainbow_runner,

yes, I know some people, are basically carb "addicts" and one mouthful is just one mouthful too much!

I suppose what I was trying to say was that there are 2 types of "rules". The ones our docs give us for our safety and the safety of our bands are non-negotiable. We ignore those at our peril!

But the others are "diet" rules and we are all different! So varying those seems to me to be not only harmless but sometimes even benefical! For example, i am not affected by carbs as you are. So for you pasta would be a disaster, for me doing without it would be the disaster! If I feel deprived, then i start to think of food. And that is my way to perdition!

It is now almost 5 years since I was banded - if I had cut anything I like out of my diet totally, I very much doubt if i would still be 15lbs below goal!

I think really what you are saying is agreeing with me- we are different! You are a carb addict. i am a volume of anything eater! Carbs don't trigger cravings in me - well no more than any other nice food! So being able to amend my diet has shown me as it has you what we can and can't do!

And no - I don't do carb wars! Otr protein shake wars, or calorie level wars!  I am of the do-what-works-for-you school!

Kate

Yeah, right on Kate.  The real secret to success with this whole thing is finding out which kind of addict you are and then working to conquer that addiction by whatever means you can succeed.  It's a simple theory but the lessons are (or can be) extremely hard.

As for the carb wars thing - it certainly wasn't you I was talking to!   I, like you, am an advocate of do-what-works-for-you, and acknowledge that what works for me may not work for someone else.  But to go back to the OP's pet peeve - don't eat fast food 5 days a week and wonder why you can't lose weight!  If MacDonald's isn't workin for ya - buy a clue and try a different approach, LOL.

Oh yes! Some people go into this expecting miracles! Sometimes you can't help but think that they either had a doc who was in it for the money and gave no education or that they (the bandsters!) were blind and deaf to everything they didn't want to hear!

100% agree with you there!

Kate

Kate - I pretty much eat normal.  But for my own good I stay away from trigger foods.  I also consider myself lucky that I can't eat pasta or bread without feeling uncomfortably full.   But I eat plenty of fruit and veggies and wheat crackers and tortillas.  I did limit carbs but because of my intense exercise routine I was told I need to eat some carbs, so I don't completely cut them out.  I stay away from white, over processed carbs.  I eat the good stuff...except I do eat flour tortillas (my one gimmie I allow).