Sad

coachgrrl
on 1/21/11 9:58 am
 Well I think I may be losing a good friend.  We've known each other for over 20 yrs and although she's always been fragile, I always let the bad stuff go.  Lately it's gotten worse.  So I called her on it.  She's pissed 

I realized I don't care.  I can't be made to feel bad, just not going to happen anymore.

And you know what? I'm not buying into the drama either.

I think I'm just done.

Amazing how my self confidence has changed me

And yes, I'm a little sad.  But I know it's for the best and if truth be told I'm a little relieved as well.

oh...and most importantly I'm not drowning my sorrows in Ben and Jerry's
 

    
tarheel4life
on 1/21/11 10:19 am
Sorry about your friend. That is so sad about friendships, but at the end of the day, some just fall apart. It is great that you are able to move on and hold your head up high!

And also, great job with the Ben and Jerry's. :)
Starting -240 /Current -149  /1st goal -150 / New Goal - 144
                     
abandster
on 1/21/11 11:13 am
Is your friend jealous of your weight loss?  I lost more than one friend after I had my surgery and some were jealous and some of them walked away from me because I found the self confidence to speak my peace.  I wasn't mean or hateful, just honest.  I'd always bitten my tongue before because the fat girl needed friends and they put up with me so I took their verbal abuse just to have a friend.  So, I know the relief you speak of. 

Hold your head high and move on with peace in your heart.  The fat girl would have thought she was at fault on this one but the lovely woman who's done amazing well on this journey doesn't have to feel that way......ever.
coachgrrl
on 1/21/11 1:16 pm
That made me tear up a bit.

Thanks abandster
 

    
(deactivated member)
on 1/21/11 9:58 pm
I have one of those as well. But I was done with her a while back.. She told my husband..You should do something about her (me), she is getting soo fat...Good Bye old "friend"

Petra
NCB1997
on 1/21/11 11:27 pm
So sorry about your friend!
I had my band surgery on Dec 6th and have not talked to my brother or sister since then. They will not return my calls or emails. I am trying to stay strong. I have heard before wls affects some people. They know I had to do this for my health, so not sure what there problem is. Just really hurt over the Holidays. We just need to stay strong! You are doing great!! Hugs to ya!
Nancy B.    
kathkeb
on 1/22/11 4:31 am
That stinks ----  but sounds like it is for the best to let it go.

You never know how things will unfold -- and best to just walk away without making things worse.
Kath

  
FlabToFab
on 1/22/11 3:42 pm - Chino Hills, CA
I just wanted to weigh in here and let you know that I completely understand what you're going through. I lost my "best friend" of 15 years shortly before I had my lap-band surgery. We were always fat friends together and I think she felt that either I would try to change her lifestyle because I'd changed mine, or that I would become a different person.

My friend just quit talking to me one day. It hurt like hell, I cried a lot about it. I felt like I'd lost my sister. I made many, many attempts to talk to her, and even apologized although I had done nothing wrong.

After a few months, the sting wore off and I really was able to see things more clearly. I was always the person who came to her rescue. I was always the one who drove to see her. I was always the one who paid when she was short on cash. I was the one who was at her bedside in the hospital for a week straight when she was ill.

But you know what? She was one of those people who would take and take and would never reciprocate, was never flexible, and always had an excuse when I needed her. I was "blinded by love" because I was so desperate for a friend. I had zero self-esteem and I was willing to give 110% to a one-way relationship because I never thought I could do any better!

It really sucks in the beginning, but you'll get through it. You'll never stop caring for your friend or wondering how she's doing... but you are moving onto greener pastures and you will be better off without those type of "friends." Trust me!
Mandy- 6.5cc (10cc band) 
87 Pounds To Go!  304/257/170
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