I'VE GOT A DATE & the gossiping to go along with it!

In retrospect, I wish that I had known I had a hiatal hernia before I told my friends and family about my surgery...I could have just said I was going in for the hernia repair.  Your employer has no right to know why you are taking the time off except that it is medically necessary to qualify for LOA.  Now that the "cat" is out of the bag, you are going to need a strategy to cope with the unsolicited advice you will be getting and the commentary.
I don't mind that people ask genuine questions about how my band works to help me lose weight, what I really find annoying is the attention paid to what I order in a restaurant and "do you think you should have that?" as I am taking a bite of something...
Last night I had problems at dinner with cauliflower, something I have been able to eat, but it got stuck and I had a miserable time getting it up...I live with my daughter and her family (6 + my DH and I) and they kept asking if I was ok....I am nodding and waving them away and yet they persist.
Finally went to my room and when I came out they were all waiting for me LOL!  They said I had 2 min to come out or DD was coming in to check on me!
This stuff is going to happen...so plan ahead and be ready for the onslaught!
Good Luck!

I'm a nurse and work in ICU and all my co-workers have been very supportive, they're excited and so proud of me for deciding to have wls. . I haven't had anyone say anything negative regarding my decision.  Initially I thought of just telling a few of my close friends, but since I'm having the surgery in the hospital that I work at , I figured everyone would find out anyway, which is ok.  Although i was a little nervous of how they would react. I'm a big time emotional eater, and I do have a few of my close friends that keep reminding me that this surgery is not going to fix my emotional eating and that we need to have plan in place.  With the suppport of my co-workers, friends, family, I know I'm going to be successful.

BTW, you don't have to justify your decision to anyone. You're doing this to become healthier and happier and that is all that matters.  Good luck with your surgery on Friday and lets us know how things go........

NORMA

If I were in that situation, I'd come up with a standard response to idiotic remarks.  Like:

"Thanks for your input, but I don't recall ever asking for your opinion on this."

"Where did you get your degree in bariatric medicine?"

"Frankly, it's none of your business."

Give me a while and I can probably come up with some really rude ones.

Jean

Jean - you crack me up!!! You always know what to say!
BTW, I 'm waiting for payday (tomorrow) to send you the check for the book.
See you around the boards!
:)

Kerry, my advice may be crap, but I'm always good for a laugh!

Hi,

Initially, I thought I wouldn't tell anyone about my surgery. Because like you, I got a lot of negative responses... at first. Lately I've had a lot of my co-workers come to me and say, "Wow you look great, what are you doing?" Well, I just tell them I'm eating healthier. Some of them know about the surgery, but I just use it as a testimony. I tell them I decided that I needed to be healthy for myself and my family. One "friend" told me I looked good, when I told her she looked good too, she immediately said, "yeah, well, I'm doing mine the right way.." What's that? Well, I just looked at her and said, "Just because I've been banded doesn't mean that I can't still eat the same crap that I used to, but now that I can't eat as much, I make sure I eat more healthy foods so that I can get good nutrition." I also workout like crazy... So when they say the negative things, just come back with a positive and keep steppin... :-)  Congrats!!!!

People are stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  plain and simple!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You have to live your life.  Dont sweat them!  If they REALLY cared about you they would realize how important this is to you and would fulky support you!!  SOOOOOOOOOOOOO  since they dont, then forget them!  Your quality of life is gonna be so great you wont have time to worry about thier petty garbage!

Hang in there!!
Renee K

I, too, was self pay, and boy am I glad that I did not tell anybody. Next month, on the 30th, I will be  2 years banded. I am only 23 pounds lighter. I weighed 243 the day of surgery, and  220 today.  I could have done a lot with $24,000.00.

A friend of mine told everybody when she got banded, and let me tell you, they watch her like a hawk. Everything she puts in her mouth.... they have something to say about it. And, comments like....it doesn't look like you're losing any weight and I thought you would be skinny by now.

Outside of my doctor and his staff, only 2 people know that I have a band, and that is my husband and my daughter. Sometimes I wish my husband didn't know because he never lets me forget that I paid $24,000.00 to lose 23 pounds. Plus, I'm barely holding on to that loss. I have to really watch what and how much I eat or else I start gaining.

I would tell them that they are certainly entitled to their opinion just as you are entitled to yours.
State that unless they want to encourage you, then you prefer not to discuss your medical issues with them.  
However, if you want too, you can tell them you have researched the surgery and you have sought out medical advice on the surgery, AND you are in the care of a physician that you trust.  Nuff said.   Then change the subject.

Congratulations on your surgery date!

Also, the only thing I removed from my pantry were foods that only I ate.  I did stock up on items that I knew I would need for my first few weeks.  Only you know what foods are triggers and you want to avoid.  Your family may have no problem leaving those items alone for a while.  Take care!