I'VE GOT A DATE & the gossiping to go along with it!

Kerry B.
on 9/13/10 11:54 pm

I am going in for my surgery on Friday which means I had to tell more people than I initially planned, like my co-workers and boss. I can't stand the negativity that I've been receiving. It's unreal. Yesterday, I was told to clean out my pantry and kitchen cabinets before I go or I'll just be wasting my money (I'm self-pay). I tried to explain that I have two kids and a husband that are entitled to eat what they want. They didn't sign up for this, I did. The more I think about it, the madder I get. BTW, it's going to take more than Zumba to get the weight off at this point! I realize if I ate like I'll have to after surgery the weight would come off, but the problem for me would be keeping it off! HELLO!  It amazes me that these comments are coming from people who haven't been overweight a day in their lives!

Thanks for letting me vent!    I'm so tired of having to justify my decision!

dawnmarieNJ
on 9/14/10 12:00 am, edited 9/14/10 12:00 am
I'm sorry you're going through that.

I posted on a similar thread below, but what you've described is yet ANOTHER reason why I only told 3 people about my surgery...my husband, one close friend, and my aunt.

If you don't mind me asking, why did you need to tell your co-workers and boss?  They don't need the details of why you are out sick.  Maybe if you have to provide a doctor's note for your boss I can understand it, but health issues should be kept confidential.  Your boss shouldn't be sharing that information with others.


Edited to add:  Oh, and congratulations on your date and best of luck!!!


You can't go back and make a brand new start, but you can start from now and make a brand new end. 

                    
Kerry B.
on 9/14/10 1:02 am
I only have a couple of co-workers and I felt obligated to tell them why I'm taking off since they will be covering for me.  I told my boss because he is a surgeon and would wonder why I wasn't having him do my surgery. Looking back now, I should've said I had "mono" or something!!!! 
(deactivated member)
on 9/14/10 1:30 am
Well, if you work in a medical practice, it wouldn't take long to figure out what was going on.  Kind of like hiding a pregnancy from other women when you are puking at the same time every morning at work.  You were probably wise to be up front since you need their ongoing trust.  BUTTTT, being that you work in a medical practice, they should understand this is your medical decision about your health and they should butt out or encourage you.
(deactivated member)
on 9/14/10 12:30 am
Hi. Congratulations.

I have told some people I had a hiatal hernia repair if I felt I must tell them anything.  I did have one, after all.

Ignore the meatheads who don't know how to show any class.  I'm sure some of them suddenly feel they need to do something about their own health or weight.  At least some of the negative nellies will be asking you questions about getting the procedure done once they see it working for you. Some will be concerned for you, but most will be more concerned about how your weight loss will affect them.

Do what you need to do for you and your family.

Good luck on your journey. 
Cheryl
WASaBubbleButt
on 9/14/10 12:34 am - Mexico
You won't like this but I agree with cleaning out the pantry. It's a great time for the whole family to learn better eating habits. It's not sinful for cookies and such not to be in the cupboards for growing children. I think that was a great idea.

Previously Midwesterngirl

The band got me to goal, the sleeve will keep me there.

See  my blog for newbies: 
http://wasabubblebutt.blogspot.com/
(deactivated member)
on 9/14/10 12:35 am

Im sorry youre having to go through this...  chalk it up to plain ol ignorance.    People who arent obese, or arent addicted to food, whatever you wanna call it, just dont get it.   Same way I dont get anorexia... or drug/alcohol addiction....   It doesnt occur in my life so I just dont get it.

They'll be eating their words when you lose the weight... however, with that being said, please be prepared for it to get worse. The gossip isnt going to stop.  I told NO ONE that I worked with for the fear of being judged everytime I wanted something NOT HEALTHY for me.  If I wanted a few chicken nuggets or french fries, or a slice of pizza for that matter, I didnt want to be scrutinized.


They're going to say you took the easy way out.... and that you're only losing because you had surgery...    People are rude, always have been... and always will be.   Just remember the reason you're doing this... whatever your reason is.  :)  Take Care!

(deactivated member)
on 9/14/10 12:38 am
OH!!! And I too agree with cleaning out the pantry.    For me... I know if its there, I'll eat it. Chips, candy, cookies, soda....   if its there, Its in my mouth.

I have a 4 year old that needs to be taught healthy eating habits... as well as my overweight husband.   He's lost 65 lbs on his own because of our change in lifestyle.   My weight loss inspired him to lose weight as well.  He's 30 lbs away from his goal.   I'm 60 lbs away.    

It's also MUCH easier to cook ONE MEAL for the family... than 2 or 3.   
Christine N.
on 9/14/10 1:08 am - Rahway, NJ
Weight loss is a funny thing b/c it is one health condition that really affect other people. By this I mean that weight is such an emotional subject that when one person loses weight (or says they are going to) other people have very strong emotional reactions. Some are jealous, some are angry, and some are just unbelievably angry. You might not see it now, but I can garuntee that some of those people who are reacting negatively are doing it b/c they don't like the idea of you weighing less. I have one person in particular that I know will hate it when I lose weight b/c she takes a lot of pride in being "the skinny one" and she won't be able to say that anymore. Other people might just see as becoming more of a threat to them (for work or love or anything).


If you present the surgery to people with your head held high and confidence in your voice they are less likely to react poorly. And there is nothing wrong with telling people "I told you because you need to know, not because I want your opinion"

Good luck and don't let them get to you!
svera
on 9/14/10 1:10 am - Long Beach, CA
 If junk food goodies are a trigger for you don't keep them around. When my family wants something sweet I make brownies, cookies etc. let them have some and send the rest away. Or I buy the goodies I don't care for. On the other hand if I really want something I take a bite, if its not absolute heaven I toss it. Don't feel obligated to finish something cuz thats a behavior for the old you.
As for everyone else and their opinions, let them say what they want cuz this is for YOU. Do your thing and let them sip on their hateraide. Good luck. By the way , I have a 13 yo daughter who has lost 5 lbs since eating and exercising with me in the last 7 weeks and I know she feels good about that.
   Sara Vera                  
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