It's my plate!!

I do the same thing! I ask for either just the eggs or just the omelet w/ nothing else. I know I would eat (or try to lol) the grits or potatoes etc. So no sense in the added temptation . I am from the south so BIG portions and multiple carbs are a part of every meal lol. Before I loved it now I am like WHO needs potatoes AND grits AND toast plus eggs/omelet at one meal . LOL   
NOT this girl anymore!!!! Woohoo (but before I totally cleaned my plate HAHA)  Good for you for avoiding a possible pitfall !!!!

I'm almost 5 weeks out and 2 weeks on solid foods.  So far DH and I have worked out a system that seems to be working for both of us and he actually likes it.  He orders whatever meal he wants, I order a-la-carte whatever I want that's not on his plate (i.e. I like over easy eggs he only eats scrambled, I like fish, he doesn't, etc.).  When the meal is served, I serve myself on a bread-size plate (or whatever plate they provide) from his meal, say a blessing and dig in.  If a bread basket is part of the meal I don't ask for it to be removed.  I'm on this diet, not DH.  So far he is usually telling me I can take more, but I try to limit it to half a cup of food.

I can sorta see where your DH is feeling like you guys are paying for the food, he'd rather have it than let them keep it.  But I can see where you are coming from, too.  It is your plate.  For the sake of peace, before you place your order, discuss what you want and ask him if he wants your whatever or you will tell them to hold it.  If he wants to pile your toast on top of his toast, I wouldn't argue about it, I would either put it on his plate as soon as it arrives or ask your server to do it before they bring your meals - especially if it is something you won't be able to transfer easily at the table.  The way I look at it is I work as hard at making and managing our money as he does, and if he wants extra food, and I have extra food, I sure don't want to pay for even more food!   The couple of times so far that he has taken my extra food he has felt like he ate way too much and was a little embarrased to have it all piled on his plate.  He much prefers I take my cut from his meal because it reduces his temptation to overeat.  His concern right now is that for the first time in the 34 years we have known each other, I might get to the point of weighing less than him. And I think he better watch out, cuz I'm going to pass him on the way down if he does't quit eathing those chips! 

Hehehe...I've got 20 pounds to go and I will weight less than my DH. He is a little freaked out by it too, but I just said "Hey, it's my turn! And besides, I'm the girl, I SHOULD weigh less!" I can't wait til the day I get on the scale and can stick my tongue out at him!!

Sounds like you need to have a conversation before going out about the ground rules for ordering, much like you would with a child.  If he is not in agreement before, at least you can avoid the scene of having a grown adult male behaving like a child in public, go ahead and order the whole thing and have them bring the potatoes and biscuits in a to-go box for your husband to take possession of when the food arrives...

The a la carte menu has become my friend...especially at breakfast.  If they don't have an eggs and bacon entree, I order them a la carte.  No use wasting the toast, potatoes and/or grits that come with the thing.  My hubby doesn't need them either, so why even order them.

I hate the "scene" that someone else mentioned here too...where you go to a fancy restaurant and you only eat part of your meal and they think something was wrong.  My new favorite line is, "I'm not a big eater, but I enjoyed it very much.  May I please have a box so I can enjoy the rest at home?"  Works like a charm every time.

I feel for you. It sounds similar to my plight to give up soda. Once I realized just how bad it was for me I was still pre op so I dropped it completely. But I thought my kids shouldn't be drinking it either and my husband could use a balance as well. He didn't agree. He would  still order it non stop for him and the kids. He actually is one of those types who can eat or drink anything he wants and never gains a lb. It took over a year of my being off of soda and telling him why it was bad and that he should just have it in moderation. He has finally switched over to iced tea with me.

Also I didn't eat out much in the early days because I knew I would succumb to the temptations, but it was similar while cooking. I had to cook the other 4 people in my house regular foods and then cook my version which was not nearly as appetizing.  When I did start eating out though I decided to never order my own plate of food. Most of the time I let my husband and son pick what they want and I have some off of theirs. Since I am not ordering and they have different tastes (and could care less to order band friendly foods) it keeps me from eating too much. If it brings any comfort you probably wont be able to eat those potatoes or biscuit when you hit restriction anyways.

Yes, it's your meal.  You should be able to order whatever you want.

I will say, though, that when we go out (especially for breakfast), I decide what I want to eat (usually a few bites of a cheese omelette), I negotiate with my husband.

i ask him if he is willing to eat that, and then we share a plate.
Since I will be taking some of his food, I ask what else he wants -- and we order a side or something.

Then, I just get a little plate and serve myself off of his plate.
Once that food is on MY plate, it doesn't matter to me if it is on his plate or on the table.
It is not MY food.

We have had to discuss the fact that we don't want him eating for 1 3/4 since I now eat for 1/4,
I either box up my leftovers and bring them home for ME or the dog, or I leave them behind.
I don't bring home my leftovers for my dh to eat ---- unless he will use them for a true meal.

I never order the things I know I don't want to eat.  Just last Sunday I ordered my omelet without potatoes and toast and had sliced tomatoes instead.  You're going to have some serious conversations with DH if he's going to make you feel guilty for doing what's right for your health.  If he wants to eat them for you get them on a side plate or have them boxed to go. 

You absolutely did the right thing!

Good job!

Lisa O.

 your husband is lucky I wasn't there. I would have thrown the plate in his lap.

I eat out and usually order a salad. That seems to be a good choice for me.  Or I'll order soup or fish. I haven't had any problems with eating out so far. I make sure I eat slow. I've had a few times where I had a soft stop... or first bite syndrome. Not sure which now.. I just stopped and sat there for a few minutes till I felt ok again.  I'm never embarrassed if I have to box almost the whole meal.  I don't care what people think and hold my head high.  I'm being healthy. That's all that matters to me.  My BF doesn't push me to eat or question every bite I have because he knows I'd kill him.  I wear the pants in the family and mine are getting smaller! 

As far as getting a stuck episode for all the newly or not banded yet.  Yup I thought. "I'll never have that happen"  Well I have and it's not pretty ... you just learn what you did wrong and move on.  Nothing you can really do about it.    Just remember the band rules.... eat slow, small bites, chew well.... you'll all be fine. 

To Beth... send me your husband... I'll take care of him. 

Its your plate!  My BF and I were stopping somewhere and he was like "if I order xxx than you can eat xxx of it" I know he was trying to help and just order 1 large meal and share and sometimes we will do that but what he wanted wasn't anywhere close to what I wanted.  I had to tell him 2 times to just order his own food and I would find something I wanted.  But I also understand what you mean about temptation because I won't buy certain things for the house right now and when he asked me why I simply said "that is a weakness of mine and if its in the house I will eat it and to much of it".  He tries to accept it and if its something he really wants and we can find it in a single serving package I get him one of those to eat when I am not home.  selfish has been used in bad ways to long but sometimes you have to take care of yourself and put yourself first.  This is a time you have to take care of yourself!  It might help to sit down and explain to him why you didn't give him the option to have what you couldn't eat while you don't have a room full of strangers and a waitress around to listen in.  I am sure he will understand.