It's my plate!!

I just need to vent. I am so aggrivated with my DH. We went out to eat yesterday and when I ordered my omelet I told the waitress that did not want the biscuits and potatoes that come with it. My husband pitched a fit. I didn't want the biscuits or potatoes on the table to tempt me and I figured it's my plate and I'll order it anyway I like.Maybe when I'm further out I can let those things come to the table and give them to him (although he claims to be dieting as well) but for right now I would prefer to avoid temptation. Anyone else had as a similiar experience?

Nothing like that here yet. But I'm only 1 week out from my banding.

My husband is currently deployed to Afghanistan. I know when he returns it will be difficult for me. He's an enabler, big time! He'll offer to get me Pepsi (my downfall) and ask me continually if I want anything to eat.

He's from a family where you're not being hospitable if you're not offering food, or not accepting the offer of food!

I feel for you. You're right though, it is YOUR PLATE.

sometimes eating out can be an issue for us wls people.  I personally don't eat.  I order a water or drink and eat before or after, cause I hate the "scene"  but that is my choice.  If he is going to cause drama, He can eat alone.   I hate the waitress coming to the table and saying "Is everything ok"?  and looking at me like WTH??  I hate the "Chance" that I might have to run to bathroom, and there being a line.  I hate my husband asking me "are you stuck"  are you stuck"  are you stuck?  I wanna say, shut the hell up.  If i'm stuc****rtainly don't want to have a conversation right now.  so, I don't eat.  he is fine with that,   good luck.

 I am only on my second week and still on liquids but my question is that do you get stuck often? We love to eat out and I am going to dread eating and getting that stuck feeling(that is making me so nervous to start food). What do you feel? Does it hurt and do you vomit right away? OMG...what did I do? I'm so nervous

Lisa

I'll chime in here. First off you will probably will get  stuck at some point in your band life, but some do not. If you follow the rules closely by taking tiny bites, and chewing really well and are not over filled it may not happen. However most of us forget at some point to take that tiny bite or do not chew chew chew and we get stuck and yes it really hurts. But I can tell you I learned about the band from a friend of mine who got it first and she got stuck ALL THE TIME. Only because she refused to follow the rules. Getting stuck leads to having to get it out, which isnt really like vomitting, its more like gagging. Because I saw it happen to her so much and saw that she had a major slip and revision in less than a year I am much more careful. I do not want to chance a slip. It is for the most part in your control and when you discover what foods your band does not like you will learn early to avoid them. I have had only 1 stuck episode in 6 months and about 5 total since I got my band.

As for eating out, it does stop being as fun because you are eating the foods you would have cooked at home for a fraction of the price, however it is not like you cant eat out anymore. There are plenty of foods you can work with like fish, grilled chicken, steak, etc. Please try not to stress. Restriction comes slowly so you have time to learn.

Its Definitely your plate !!!! We were on vacation and I also asked the waitress to leave off the toast! Carbs are my down fall . You were being smart and setting yourself up for success. In Montessori education they have what they call " the prepared environment" It's how the classroom directoress arranges the works so the children can maximize their concentration on a project. We want to do that also especially when we are trying to learn new behaviors . If we are trying to focus on small mindful bites we don't need to be distracted by carbs we should't be eating on our plate . Take a deep breath , let him know you will be doing this as long as you need to and he has a nice opportunity to be the supportive spouse. Especially since he can have his plate as he pleases.

i also agree it is your plate.  I have sort of the opposite problem if I know I am going somewhere that I want to eat a small portion or it is within my limits. I do not want to be questioned constantly about this it is very nerve racking.  I know I should appreciate the help.  But I just cant handle it sometime

My hubby and I have a system when we go out to eat. My having this surgery saves us a fortune eating out because before, my husband would sometimes order a giant appetizer or 2 meals to get enough to eat; (if we didn't eat a buffet) He is a big eater, but no weight problem. Grrrrr : )

So anyway, now I will order a big meal too, and then just shovel most of it onto his plate, and let him have the bulk of my slad and the bread. Sometimes I give him a little less and keep some leftovers for my lunch the next day. This works out great for us and saves us  a lot of money. Regarding the tempation issue; once the food is on his plate; I'm not tempted at all. 

You could try keeping the things you don't want on your plate, and just box them up immediately when your meal arrives, that way if your husband wants to eat them later, he can.

Trixie

It's your plate... no need for them to prepare those foods and you just waste them.  order what you want and how you want it.

I eat out ALL THE TIME... it's part of my lifestyle, so I've learned to cope.  10 months out and we're still learning that at a lot of places we can share a meal.  it's a hard habit to break... or if I want something different I just determine what I'm going to eat when the plate gets there and box it up.  Most restaurant meals last me a minimum of 2-3 meals.  I got BBQ the other night at a place in texas- It was my dinner that night and then last night it turned into dinner for both the DH and I.  3 meals for $14... not too shabby!

Being 5 weeks out, I find out how hard this journey has been especially the eating out part.  I went on vacation with my husband and kids and I couldn't beleive how hard it was...sitting there and not being able to eat....as I was on very limited soft foods...I have to say there aren't many choices in these restaurants post op....I hope that when I am able to eat more that I can handle the pressure...