When do I tell him....

Okay, guys I really need some fellow bandsters advice here.  I have been talking to this guy that I met online for a month and a half now.  We are going to go out for the first time this weekend which I am thrilled about.  We have a ton in common and have really hit it off through email.  I hope it is as successful in person! :)  I have this fear though about when to tell him about my WLS.  I still have quite a bit of weight to go but I feel like I look good for where I am now.  However, I think it would be a huge shock to find out what I looked like then.  Also, I don't think I can necessarily hide it for very long.  I mean if we go out to eat, I can't eat very much and what if something gets stuck?  Ahh, so many irrational things running through my head.  Any advice? 

Sara

Contrary to what people say about meeting people on line,, after my hubby died over 12 yrs ago.. about 3 yrs after that my kids put me on love@aol.  I met the most wonderful man and the funny part his name is Ed the same as my late hubby,, my name is lyn and his ex is lin.. I have a grandaughter smantha and he had a daughter samantha.. he is such a super guy.. He knew then I had a weight problem and took me for what I was.. we laugh all the time and have sooo much fun we have been married almost 9 yrs now and still feel like its our honey moon too.. just be honest with him after a bit and tell him the truth.. it never hurts to tell the truth cause if u dont,, he sure as heck will find out somehow. and your bettering your self too so im sure he would like that also..  hope this helped a little.. and good luck.. and have fun..  lyn

OK, I think I have another cosmic twin here....

I too met my husband on love@aol, our 9 year anniversary is less than a month away AND our last name is Tally.



I'm thinking of calling Ripley's

omg how strange wow.. yes I guess we are  cosmic twins at that arent we ,, wow how nice.. lol.. well the reason my name is Tallyslady, is my husband screen name is Tally and he is an accountant and we named our bar that we had built from the ground up in Orlando, Tally ho.. wait till i tell him. wow is all i can say,, what a coincedence lol.. lyn

our ann is oct. 12th.. we met tho in may just before mothers day on love at aol.. and actually didnt meet in person till I sold my rest in Daytona and came back from vacation in july.. and have been together ever since.. It was a long commute, from Daytona to Orlando esp on those freeways but we did it every weekend.. for a few mo.. and then just decided to run away and get married in Vegas lol.. where did u get married??

We met 11 years ago on August 1, 1999.  He spent better than 2 weeks trying to convince me to meet him.  I was plum tired of men at that point in my life and not really interested!! LOL...that and his name started with an R which is a bad luck letter for me when it came to men! 

He was "seperated' from his first wife at the time BUT she was still living in the guest room as she was planning to move across the country ASAP and "getting an apartment for a couple of months just didn't make any sense."  I thought....yeah, right.....don't call me i'll call you! 

Anyway, he convinced me that he was telling the truth and that simply meeting for lunch one day was harmless.  To say we hit it off well is an understatement!  I did have the forsight though to tell him we couldn't date until the wife was out of the house.  That first lunch was on a Sunday afternoon and he had her moved out to a friends house by that Thursday!!  Since that day 11 years ago I think we have only gone a total of 3 days apart!

We got married 2 years later on a dinner boat (Star of Louisville) in Louisville Kentucky 3 days after 9/11.....since the planes were still grounded several of our guests couldn't come and we had cake ALL WEEK while on our Honeymoon!

I also found my DH on love@aol..... eight years ago.

I don't have any personal experience to share, but I hear that one of the biggest mistakes that can be made in a new relationship is to tell someone too soon that you used to be A LOT heavier than you are now.  That can be a scary thing for someone to hear.  My suggestion is that you play things by ear and see how things develop.  If it were me, I would definitely wait months to see what happens and get to know each other and develop a certain rapport and trust before considering when to tell the other person (and I do mean "when", not "whether")......Of course, you'll want and need to tell him at some point, but I think the conventional wisdom is that telling too soon may not be the best choice, long term.

That's my two cents' anyway........Good luck and have a great time! 

BB

I personally would wait a couple of dates before delving into that topic.  Sounds like you and this fella are off to a great start but why go into such a potentially emotional topi****il you know there's more to the relationship.

My current (and LAST) husband and I met online but he wasn't the first fella I talked with and then met from online and let me tell you taking something that is good online into reality is sometimes very difficult.  No need to muddle things further until the 2nd or 3rd date.

Best of luck to you!!

I met my DH online as well. We've been married 7+ years.  I dated a quite a bit from online dating. It's always different from phone conversations vs face-to-face meetings. I agree that you shouldn't get into real personal stuff on the first few dates. Have fun and see where it goes. Good luck on your date!