I'm so upset

I'm not asking for hand holding and I am not putting it off.  The doctor that I want there, should be there.  He is my surgeon and this is a repair on HIS patient.  The expert agreed to do it since my surgeon hasn't done this repair yet.  So... we need both surgeons there.   There is no indecision.  When they couldn't find the problem (for months) I considered VSG.  When they finally found the problem, there was no inability on my part to move forward.  I wanted to save my band this whole last year, but it wasn't until recently that they said I could 100% save the band.  Since then, I have just been waiting on my doctors.   I know that near death is worse... but when you suffer for so long, it's hard to keep you chin up.  You know things are bad when you are admitted to the hospital because food and stomach was being pinched off in your chest.  I was lucky in that it was resolved non-surgically.  If it didn't, immediate surgery would have been needed due to ischemia.  I am lucky.  I am grateful that it resolved.  My surgeon said that it could have been much worse. I am not asking for sympathies with this post.  I know that you don't have much.  I just wanted to post to tell my friends here when my surgery repair is.  There has been no change of mind once they found out my band can be saved.  So why you think that is beyond me.  Please, if you cannot be supportative, don't post.  This is a support forum and all I wanted to do is let my friends know that my surgery date is being pushed back, that it sucks, I am still miserable, but that I will let them know when it is.

Alyssa, I also believe things happen for a reason.  Keep your chin up and things will happen. You've worked hard and have been through a lot.  You deserve to keep your band and  be healthy again. Take care,  dee~

Thanks Dee!  I was so happy to know I could keep my band... now I want to move on with my life and at least feel better in one way!

Well heck. On a day I found out I lost three friends within 9 hours and my step son's mother is terminal and preparing to die, a delay and discomfort seems like nothing more than disappointment. Sometimes when we feel we have it bad the best thing is to look outside ourselves and see that bad as it is, forging ahead without complaint is the best way to go. I am pretty dange supportive and I am supportive of you as well....have been if you llok back at any posts on your threads by me....but at this point, and with the tapes plyaing in my head right now, looks like you can quit putting barriers to ahving the procedure right away, OR wait and realize the only reason you are waiting is your choice to do so and feel much better of what you must endure in the interim. I read a post the other day of a woman that com hell or high water she would make it to an appointment she ahd even though she would need a walker to do it.......another post regarding a person who had gone months and months only to be denied. She simply bucked up and decided to get the money and pay herself FOR HERSELF. Maybe it is life experience but interviews and jobs and all that come and go....but health is fleeting and putting this off to go to an interview or to take an exam or to wait for a doc to observe is simply a reflection of it not being as big a priority as those other things.

Don't talk about how this is not a high priority for me.  I am not the one pushing the date back, my surgeons are.  I couldn't do anything about it.   The interview... becoming a doctor has been a life long dream of mine.  I have worked my ass off this whole year while feeling miserable.  I got this interview because of that hard work and I am not going to throw it away because that is the only date my surgeons would do the surgery.  Of all the days in the year, for that to be the only time possible (a month from now) is not reasonable for me.  There has to be another time they can do it.  My surgeon is trying to arrange it for before April.   Waiting is not my choice, I have put up no barriers, so I don't know where you got that from. I guess being bent over with horrendous pain and intractable vomiting is nothing to you.  To have had episodes of pain and intractable vomiting that brought me to the hospital and was admitted.  Sure, that's nothing too.  Death is sad.  I have of course known plenty of people (friends and family) that have suffered and died.  You don't need to take your sadness on this day and make my misery sound like it is nothing more than a sprained ankle.  It really was unkind of you.  All I wanted to do tonight was let my friends know that my date had to be pushed back, that I was crushed, and I'd let them know when the new date is.

Though you work hard and you are trying to get from A - B......it isn't worth skipping a surgery. Certainly if it can be sooner ALL THE BETTER for you....but I though you already got IN to med school so that part is taken care of....and skip waiting for surgeon number two. I am simply telling you that you can JUST DI IT and that when we look outside ourselves we tend to do better with the problems we have.  I think that support comes in more forms than hugs and kisses and being a persons YES-MAN. There are often things we don't like to hear. We cannot always have it all when we want it....so if you prefer to go to an interview and not get your medical issue addressed, I am saying it is a poor choice.  Even if it puts the doc thing off a year, you are way too young to worry about that and way too young to give up health for job.

Tore up your feet walking to school in the snow without shoes did you, banana? Awwww!

I don't  have any feet.

OK, your idea of being supportive by being harsh is wrong and out of line, I'm sorry that you are having a bad day and about your losses, but just because one seem a bigger problem to you ,does not mean that others don't suffer for other reasons too... there is no reason for comparison, we all have our burdens and our limits and can handle so much. I would like to add that Alyssa is not asking for sympathy, she clearly said that she was letting her friends know about the change in dates, if you feel the way you do towards her or her problems, why in the world did you post to her thread?  you should've ignored it then instead of being so rude to her and I don't care how you try to put it, or what anybody says, you were rude. Plain and simple. Alyssa knows a lot about  hardship, pain and suffering, not only for what she has gone through the past year and still goes through, but since being a child, she knows about losing her own mother, how dare you to insinuate that she may not really know what hard suffering is, because that is the way it came across in your post, I tell you, she sure knows about pain, probably more than you and I put together, you don't know her,  she is an extremely strong woman, not only she is dealing with her band issues and her HH, but she has other health problems on top of that, again, you really don't know, so coming so harsh onto her was by far a fair thing to do. You were wrong in so many levels, missing an interview with a college that has been scheduled for so long is an extremely hard decision to make, and no, it can't be rescheduled as she pleases, and yes, it's very important to her and she has to weigh it in as well,  among everything that she has gone through for a long time, this interview was one of the things she has been looking forward to, and it would be very hard for her to lose this opportunity. It may not seem too important to you, it is to her and that's what count. It doesn't matter what other people that you know that have gone through difficulties have done or how they handle it, everyone is different, like I said before, comparison in pain or suffering is totally irrelevant, pain is pain, different levels for different people at different times, ultimately it's pain and it hurts and while someone deals better with the loss of a loved one, another has a big problem dealing with it. I want to tell you and everyone that Alyssa is one of the strongest persons I've ever met in my entire life, and I'm 45 years old, so I've met plenty of people in my life, she has sucked it up many times, handled it, kept trying, kept her chin up plenty of times and to come to this board and write a thread that is basically directed to her friends and have you or anybody else for that matter attacking her is unacceptable, and please don't try to say that you didn't attack her or that  it was "tough love", I don't buy it for a second, you had a bad day and took it out on her in a cruel way, I'm the one who will say that next time when you feel like doing something like this, how about sucking it up and staying away from the key board. Helen

 

It is this kind of post that drives good people away from support forums.  Please rethink this and try to be more understanding.