Hey Becky I've been hiding under a rock somewhere battling depression/anxiety for a few days but am on my way back. I've missed you all Kim

Hi all. I hope everyone is doing ok and weathered the storms. I've had a rough couple of days. As most of you know, I recently faced the fact that I have clinical depression and am on week 5 of Effexor. Well, on top of that I have battled SEVERE INSOMNIA since my WLS. I take Ambian or Lunesta every night and am lucky if I get 2-3 hours of good sleep. Of course, my PCP (whom I adore) says that the depression is compounded by the Insomnia which causes more anxiety which leads to my Rheumatoid Arthritis flare ups. It's a vicious cycle.... So we spent all day Saturday getting ready for the storm. Tying down everything that might possible move, getting sandbags put in place, making sure we have enough food/ice/water/batteries/ washing clothes, etc. I mopped the whole house 3 times because I wanted to make sure it was clean because the baby would be playing. Then Sunday I get up and cook because Pam's daughter and husband and 2 year old are coming to stay with us because they don't have a basement......ok, that's fine-we want them to be safe. Well, we are in the process of remodelling and have taken down the bed in the spare room and are using that pretty much as a storage room. So we end up having to put up the blow up mattress in the living room - taking up the whole floor. So, what is already a small space is now even smaller and the house that I've worked so hard cleaning for 2 days is rapidly becoming a disaster area......Cheeze-its everywhere. I give the baby juice - In a sippy cup - but her mother lets her walk around with a GLASS of COKE - anybody know what COKE does to a 2 year old??? So, I'm still cooking, trying to get dinner ready so that I can clean the kitchen and complain of a migraine and go to bed. My kitchen is VERY SMALL. Well where does everyone want to congregate??? You guessed it, In the kitchen right up under me. The baby pulls up a stool and starts climbing up the cabinet (right beside the hot stove) while her mother sits on the kitchen counter and watches me cook......WTF????? CONTROL YOUR CHILD. The father is standing in the kitchen bu****ching the race on the TV in the other room, so the volume is up VERY LOUD. Pam is Still outside doing whatever the hell it is she does out there.....Finally, I hear her in the basement and go down there and tell her she's got to come help me.....she gets pissed off because I am interrupting her routine but she comes upstairs and asked Daniel to help her outside and tells Daphne to take the baby downstairs to play and fold a load of laundry for me......but guess what? She has RED MUD all over her shoes......so I get to mop the floor for a 4th time......but they all stayed out of my way for 15 minutes. Finally, I get dinner on the table and we eat. I get the kitchen cleaned and by this time we've realized the storm is not as bad as we feared. At like 8:00 Pam says, 'well I guess ya'll can go home since nothing is going to happen'......They don't want to leave. It's raining, blah blah blah. At 8:30, I go to bed and toss and turn all night. Yesterday morning I wake up with the biggest migraine in the history of headaches get up to go take something and send an email to my office......I walk in my kitchen and the baby is sitting in the kitchen floor pouring coke (out of a can) on the floor and the dog and playing in it while her mother sits on the couch flipping channels.....So at 6:00 in the morning, I am mopping the floor for the 5th time. ..... I go back to bed, tell Daphne to watch her child.....thinking they will be gone by the time I get back up. At 8:30 I get up, they are back asleep (in my LR floor). I check in with work and go back to bed. Pam calls.....she's on her way to the DR - she's sick. At 10:30, they are still asleep in the floor. I go in the kitchen make enough noise to wake them up (thinking they will leave)........they stay. Pam calls at 11:30 and is on her way home- she has walkin pneumonia (and is contagious)....I tell Daphne she needs to get the baby out of there so she won't be exposed.......what is her response, "She's on antibiotics, she won't get it." So they stay until 3:00. Ok, ya'll I love the kids and love having them there (usually).....but I feel like I am going nuts for getting so stressed out like I have over this. I know a lot of it is because I am exhausted from lack of sleep, but do you think I am having an adverse affect from the Effexor. I thought it was helping with my moodiness/anxiety but now I am scared that it's not working. I was reading in the patient information that you should contact your DR. immediately if you have an increased anxiety level or suicidal thoughts (I HAVENT had). What do you all think? Pam is tip toeing around me once again......and I hate that. I haven't snapped and gone off on anyone yet.....but feel like I could at any moment. Sorry this is so long, but I had to get it out. Thanks for listening! Kim

Wow! Well, I was going to tell you and Lindy anyway...but Mike and I are heading to Valdosta on the 23rd and will be coming down 431...maybe we could meet for coffee/soda for a bit. We'll need to be in Valdosta by say 3:00. So we might could even make an early lunch! Love, Becky

Lunch sounds great. I had a phone call this afternoon that I'm going to have to fill in some at Camp at the school this week, so it won't work this week...but maybe next week will work!

I'm still recouperating from Saturday night!!!!!! We sure missed everyone but trust me, we had enough fun for everyone! It was so great to have Renee & her family here to spend the day with Lindy & her family and my family. Wish everyone could have been here but be on the lookout for another one in the near future!!!!!! (on or around July 23) Love ya'll Dixie