http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/wlsmemorial.phtml I haven't read these in a while, but was looking at them tonight. It's amazing how many deaths were caused by people who had complications and sought help, only to be told that it was probably gas or something like that. One woman knew something was wrong after surgery and wanted to stay longer in the hospital, but of course, they made her go and she died. Another person...they forgot to give them blood thinners. This does not make me not want to have the surgery. I want to have it whether or not. If I don't have the surgery, I will die. I know that. And I'm not scared of dying at all. It's just that it seems unreal that insurance companies are KILLING people by making them wait. This week has been the worst for me as far as pain goes. But I hope when I have the surgery that the hospital staff pay attention to what they are doing. The thing that really worries me is having complications and not being able to get to Birmingham in time. I do not trust the local hospitals to take care of me if I have complications after getting back home. Then there is the thing about my insurance making me wait so long. I feel that it would have been better if I could have had the surgery immediately instead of them making me wait and do that damned 6 month diet that did not work. Well, didn't mean to depress anyone. I just wish I could have my surgery now, before my health gets worse. And I feel sorry for all those people on the memorial page who had HOPE only to lose their lives. I need this surgery so badly and it just seems so stupid to have to wait and wait and wait. Well, I'm going to bed. Just having some sad thoughts at the moment due to reading all these profiles.

Good one! I was stressed all night at work, go into the med room on one ward and you see all these little childish notes left on the marker board, like clean up behind yourself, stock the med room, we are tired of not having anything to work with, etc.. I always stock my med room before I leave and I leave it like I want to find it when I come in to work. Clean, well stocked and ready to go. Today it was nasty, unstocked and a big mess and that infuriates me, so I took the RED marker and cleaned out a big spot on the center and wrote "Be a part of the solution, NOT the cause of the problem". It will go right ovet thier heads and no one will pay any attention and keep on being nasty like they have been doing but it sure made me feel better KNOWING I AM part of the solution and not the cause of the problem, and trying to set an example for others but they dont pay me any attention either but it is okay, because I know I make a difference. Tomorrow, this goes up on the board too

I have never been popular, I have never run with a crowd, and I never hung out with high school kids when I was in high school... . Ive always been more mature for my years, the crowd I hung with were 20 and 30 something's, when I was in high school so I really have never cared how other's percieved me. My senior year, my boyfriend was 32. Not likely he would have went to the prom with me, if I had even wanted to go Now, I could care less what people think of me. Those that REALLY KNOW ME, know the kind of person I am, and I consider them my true friends. Most of my coworkers, hang in cliques, and I am not a cliquie person. They like to spend more time gossiping about everyone else, or complaing of how much work they have to do instead of doing the job they were hired to do. I dont have time to waste over stuff like that, when I get to work, I hit the floor full force and I rarely sit down until I get home. I dont know of anyone who doesn't like me at work Everyone seems too, to my face, but who knows what goes on behind my back so I do not hang out with them, at work or off. I am friendly while there, taking breaks and meal times etc, but that is as far as it goes. It doesnt bother me that someone might not like me. I say screw em, it is thier loss if they are so closedminded and uptight they can not take the time to get to know me on a equal level. Im not any better than anyone else but lets face it there are just some people in this world you will never like. You can tolerate them ,but will never really like em, and that is okay too. Hugs, Sandy

If I had all the money back that I had spent on buying things to try to make someone like me...I could pay for my WLS with cash. I could have stayed in my house in Florida. I would be in a much better place than I am now. I wouldn't be driving a 15 year old car.....ETC. There are all kinds of charities out there who could really use that money you're wasting on him. I'm sure he thinks it's "cute" that you're doing all that. No matter what you buy him, if he doesn't like you, he isn't going to like you. Doing things for men just makes them think you have the hots for them. I used to work with a guy that I had no feelings for whatsoever really, but he was having a rough night at work one night and he had said he really loved brownies one time, so the next night I took him some homemade brownies. His response? "Well, thank you for the brownies and all...I guess...but I'm not attracted to you." Excuse me???? I wasted all that time and money making that a$$hole brownies, only to get that kind of response. I agree with Becky. Just speak if you happen to run into him, but I would not waste any more money on that man. If you have the urge to do something for him, write it down and keep track of it and then at the end of the month, all the money you would have spent on him, donate it to charity or buy the dog some Beggin' Strips. Trust me...the dog will appreciate it much more. I think you have a dog, don't you? I spend a lot of time in this little apartment, thinking about what could have been, what would have been, if I had spent my money on ME or some worthwhile charities rather than wasting it all those years on people who didn't like me. Oh man, I can really get on a soapbox about this. If I could go back and relive my life, I would spend more time on myself and the people who would have appreciated my kindnesses. Trust me, I know men. If you just suddenly abandon him and stop buying him things, he will probably make an effort to become your friend. Nothing makes a man come to you more than ignoring him. I know you're not buying him things to get his interest...you're just a kind person. But I'm sure he just thinks you want his stuff. Because that's the way the *******s think. Ok, enough man bashing for the day. I just think about everything I have lost and will never have because I spent money trying to "buy" someone's friendship. We love you Kim. That old meanie probably doesn't give a rat's a$$ about anybody, but most old meanies will happily take your money...as long as they don't have to do anything in return. Love, Joni

Kim, Realize too that by continuing to try to buy him coffee/cokes, etc. when you know he doesn't like you that it can be feeding into a power trip for him. Take your power back! If you go about your business and don't pay him any attention except to speak if you pass him in the hall...he won't have that hold on you anymore. And if you speak and he doesn't...then screw him...don't waste your time on him anymore. Sometimes we focus on the one negative aspect versus the 29 positive ones. Enjoy your other friends and colleagues and leave this cretin alone. He is not worth your time! (I've been through something similar in the last year...and its amazing how empowered I feel now that I don't give a rat's a$$ what this person thinks) Love, Becky