Old habits die hard

After letting myself get too hungry yesterday, by the time I got home last night at 6:00, I was starving. We had grilled chicken the day before and I was planning to make grilled chicken salads for dinner.....would take all of 15 minutes right? Instead, I grabbed the bowl of COLD Scalloped potatoes and a fork and dig in. So when I finally realize what I am doing, it scares me to death. It's been many months since I've had any sort of obsessive behavior over food and I am so scared that now the Demon is back. I mean, sure I've had days when I didn't exactly eat right and I struggle EVERDAY to get in enough protein, BUT this is my old comforter sneaking in. Of course, I beat myself up over it for the rest of the night but got up this morning and recommitted (as it seems I have to do everyday the further out I am from surgery) myself to getting in all of my water and protein today. So far, I'm doing ok and am not really hungry today. But I am terribly scared and feeling like a failure. I am so afraid that I will lose the resolve to keep the weight off......that I will slowly forget how miserable I was when I was obese and let old habits creap back into my life. I finally put my scale away about a week ago because I've been stuck 18 pounds from my goal for almost 3 months now. I'm wondering if I should get it back out to keep myself in check? One of the most important things that I learned early out is that I can NOT deprive myself of the things I want to eat. That's why the scalloped potatoes were there to begin with. I wanted them on Monday, so I made them and ate a SPOONFUL and was satisfied. never did I think they would be calling my name soon when I put them in the refridgerator I eat bread (in moderation) and carbs (after protein) and drink carbonation (12oz diet pepsi daily, with my Dr.'s ok) sugar occasionally (ONE hershey's miniature or two small bites of ice cream or 1/2 of a toll house cookie). I've learned that there is NOTHING that I can't have. I don't buy a lot of diet food (low sugar and a few lower fat things).....that's what made me obese-years of 'dieting'.....So my MIND tells me, "kim you ARE a success story. You've learned the most valuable thing to know....moderation is the key and 99% of the time you adhere to that." But I guess that old fear (or the Demon) will always be lurking there in the shadows. Thanks for listening kim

Hi Kim, I have been going through some difficulties with the DIL next door and the last couple days I have wanted to eat anything that was not nailed down--but I cannot. I know there are always going to be days where I long for the comfort that came from eating food. Don't beat yourself up. You realized that bowl of potatoes was not a healthy reaction to the stresses in life. You posted on the board and were honest about what happened. As far as I am concern, girlfriend, YOU ARE A SUCCESS STORY!!!!!!