SEX

A little embarrassed to ask these questions. Was gonna post it on the sex board but decided it would be better to post it here because we are hidden Besides, we are all adults here, right? Ok ..... when you are going through tough times in your marriage, relationship, etc does the sex continue or does it get put on hold? As a woman, are you capable of having sex just for the sake of sex and physical pleasure or does it always have to be emotional? IF you do continue to have 'relations' during troubled times, do you think it helps or hurts the problems in the relationship? And last but not least........do you ever use sex to get what you want from your spouse/ SO? I'm not gonna embarrass myself any further by getting into the details of WHY I am asking all these questions...........but I need input. Where is Renee.....I know that little freak will tell me the truth ..... OH BETH.......come out come out whereever you are!! Joni ...... Did you fly to Aetna's home office to deliver a personal 'thank you' Gail ....... you've been married for a while haven't you....tell me your secrets love you all, Kim

Kim, I am not quite sure how to answer this one. I have been married for 3 years now although we have lived together for about 7 years. I can't say I withhold sex if I am angry with Dale but I can't say that I use sex either to get what I want from him. I think I would not want sex if we were angry with one another but I have had sex with him at times I was angry just for the fun of it, too loosen things up a bit. It doens't hurt our relationship because we love each other and know when to go for it or not. Sex doesn't have to always be emotional. We are known to have a quickie just for the hell of it (fun intended). Meeting at home on your lunch break just for the sake of getting some. We go in spurts with our sex life. We can go 2 weeks without and then sometimes we want it everyday. It just depends on what is going on in our lives with work and personally. I guess when it comes to sex, it really depends on the other person. I hope I answered your question somewhat! Gail

Thanks Gail! I seem to be screwed (pardon the pun ) up in a lot of areas these days and appreciate your insight. Now, about that meeting at home at lunch just for the sake of getting some........... I commute 50 miles one way BUT i LOVE that idea Kim

Kim...you have mail hon! Becky

Thanks Becky! You helped me to put some things into perspective! Will you be my Shrink? I will pay you Love you honey Kim

I think it all depends on the person. I have continued sex with men I was having problems with...if I wanted to. I have also stopped having sex if I felt the situation merited it. I stopped having sex with my second husband for several months before I left him because he was so repulsive and he didn't give a flip about my needs in the bedroom anyway, so I couldn't stand for him to touch me. I have used sex in situations where we were having troubles and I thought it would help. Sometimes sex can help a situation. I have a friend who was in a very bad marriage, but their sex life was great, so it helped for them to have sex. It didn't save the marriage though, but it helped it while it was on. When I sold sex toys, I was called a "personal sex consultant" so have counselled a lot of people in the area, but it all boils down to what you want to do. If you don't want to have sex...don't. If you do want to have sex...go for it. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. And don't have sex because you feel obligated to. On the other hand, if you don't want to have sex, and you start having it, you sometimes decide you really want to and then you're glad you did. The only advice I would truly stress is...if someone is treating you with disrespect, they don't deserve your lovin'. If someone is going to treat me with disrespect, they can danged well leave a $100 bill by the door when they go. Disrespect is okay if you are completely in tune with the person and you want to role-play and be disrespectful, but if they are treating you badly out of the bedroom, they don't deserve you in the bedroom. That's just my own personal opinion, which may or may not be worth much. All I know is if Pam ever treats you badly, we are all coming to your house and kicking her a$$. Love you, Joni

Thanks Joni! Your advice is ALWAYS valuable to me! You know, with my new-found shopping habits.......the $100 beside the bed thing might not be a bad idea Not to worry Honey, Pam would never treat me badly or I would kick her ASS Those days are way behind me Love you and getting SSSSOOOO excited about your surgery kim