Do you like me??

Ok ladies......honesty here. How important is it to you that people LIKE you? I know we are a diverse group and I look forward to the answers. In nearly 5 months in my new office, out of 25 people, there is ONE person that just DOES NOT LIKE ME.....and I find myself going out of my way to try to MAKE him like me. My logical mind tells me, "kim, get over it. He's one a$$hole out of 25." But then I find myself taking extra steps in a day to speak to him or ask if I can buy him a coke/coffee/whatever. I was thinking about this today and I've been that way my whole life. Even as a child, it would hurt my feelings if someone didn't like me. As a teenager/young adult, I never did anything really BAD for fear of my parents/teachers getting mad at me or not liking me anymore. At 33, I DO stand up for myself more than I ever have in life.......but I still have this weird NEED to be liked by everybody Any thoughts? Kim

You know, my whole life I always wanted everyone to like me. It hurt my feelings, too, if someone just didn't like me. I'd go out of my way, too. I spent many hours crying because someone didn't like me. Now that I've lost 1/2 of me? I just don't care. F*** 'em and feed 'em fishheads as my husband says. I just don't bow down anymore. Sometimes it still stings a little, but I just don't find them worth my time and effort anymore. Maybe I've become somewhat of a b****, but now I'm living for me, not everyone else. Ummm, as to wasting your money on this a$$hole. That's just it. He's an a$$hole. Quit trying - he'll never be worth your time or your money. No matter how hard you try, you can't win everyone over and there are plenty of ******** out there. You'll go broke trying to buy them off. And remember, they are not your friends if you have to buy them things to gain their favor. Just my humble 2 cents worth. Hell, it's probably not even worth that G

Kim, Realize too that by continuing to try to buy him coffee/cokes, etc. when you know he doesn't like you that it can be feeding into a power trip for him. Take your power back! If you go about your business and don't pay him any attention except to speak if you pass him in the hall...he won't have that hold on you anymore. And if you speak and he doesn't...then screw him...don't waste your time on him anymore. Sometimes we focus on the one negative aspect versus the 29 positive ones. Enjoy your other friends and colleagues and leave this cretin alone. He is not worth your time! (I've been through something similar in the last year...and its amazing how empowered I feel now that I don't give a rat's a$$ what this person thinks) Love, Becky

If I had all the money back that I had spent on buying things to try to make someone like me...I could pay for my WLS with cash. I could have stayed in my house in Florida. I would be in a much better place than I am now. I wouldn't be driving a 15 year old car.....ETC. There are all kinds of charities out there who could really use that money you're wasting on him. I'm sure he thinks it's "cute" that you're doing all that. No matter what you buy him, if he doesn't like you, he isn't going to like you. Doing things for men just makes them think you have the hots for them. I used to work with a guy that I had no feelings for whatsoever really, but he was having a rough night at work one night and he had said he really loved brownies one time, so the next night I took him some homemade brownies. His response? "Well, thank you for the brownies and all...I guess...but I'm not attracted to you." Excuse me???? I wasted all that time and money making that a$$hole brownies, only to get that kind of response. I agree with Becky. Just speak if you happen to run into him, but I would not waste any more money on that man. If you have the urge to do something for him, write it down and keep track of it and then at the end of the month, all the money you would have spent on him, donate it to charity or buy the dog some Beggin' Strips. Trust me...the dog will appreciate it much more. I think you have a dog, don't you? I spend a lot of time in this little apartment, thinking about what could have been, what would have been, if I had spent my money on ME or some worthwhile charities rather than wasting it all those years on people who didn't like me. Oh man, I can really get on a soapbox about this. If I could go back and relive my life, I would spend more time on myself and the people who would have appreciated my kindnesses. Trust me, I know men. If you just suddenly abandon him and stop buying him things, he will probably make an effort to become your friend. Nothing makes a man come to you more than ignoring him. I know you're not buying him things to get his interest...you're just a kind person. But I'm sure he just thinks you want his stuff. Because that's the way the *******s think. Ok, enough man bashing for the day. I just think about everything I have lost and will never have because I spent money trying to "buy" someone's friendship. We love you Kim. That old meanie probably doesn't give a rat's a$$ about anybody, but most old meanies will happily take your money...as long as they don't have to do anything in return. Love, Joni

I have never been popular, I have never run with a crowd, and I never hung out with high school kids when I was in high school... . Ive always been more mature for my years, the crowd I hung with were 20 and 30 something's, when I was in high school so I really have never cared how other's percieved me. My senior year, my boyfriend was 32. Not likely he would have went to the prom with me, if I had even wanted to go Now, I could care less what people think of me. Those that REALLY KNOW ME, know the kind of person I am, and I consider them my true friends. Most of my coworkers, hang in cliques, and I am not a cliquie person. They like to spend more time gossiping about everyone else, or complaing of how much work they have to do instead of doing the job they were hired to do. I dont have time to waste over stuff like that, when I get to work, I hit the floor full force and I rarely sit down until I get home. I dont know of anyone who doesn't like me at work Everyone seems too, to my face, but who knows what goes on behind my back so I do not hang out with them, at work or off. I am friendly while there, taking breaks and meal times etc, but that is as far as it goes. It doesnt bother me that someone might not like me. I say screw em, it is thier loss if they are so closedminded and uptight they can not take the time to get to know me on a equal level. Im not any better than anyone else but lets face it there are just some people in this world you will never like. You can tolerate them ,but will never really like em, and that is okay too. Hugs, Sandy

Ignore the hell out of him. Don't even says hello if he says it first. It will drive him crazy after awhile and then you two can call a truce. Don't be obvious about it though, just simply go about your business. If he asks if you heard him, politely say I am sorry, I was busy with other things and I did not hear you. Continue this for awhile, if it bothers him, he will come to you, if he never comes to you, continue to ignore the hell out of him because he is obviously an ass. I have done this with several people over the years, and it works like a charm everytime! Gail