What is your purpose in life?

After seeing Dr. Beverly Smallwood at the MCE support group a couple of weeks ago (and she is INCREDIBLE btw).....I've been trying to put some things into perspective in my life. One of the things that she talked about was having a purpose in life. For instance, she has been an educator, counselor, grandma, wife, mother, motivational speaker, etc......and her life's purpose is to always bring out the best in people. Your purpose in life is not a 'role', job, etc but crosses in to all areas of your life. Does that make any sense?? Anyway.....of course this has me thinking about so many things and wondering just exactly what MY purpose in life is. I define myself in so many ways (career, family, spouse, etc) but am not sure that I KNOW what I'm REALLY here for.....Could any of you share your thoughts with me......and if you want, tell me what is your purpose in life? Kim

Oh my gosh! You ask the tough questions! So much of who we are I think comes from what we do...i.e. job, career. I think we all have MANY purposes in life. To say that we have ONE I think limits us. I'm sure that there are purposes that I have yet to discover. The purposes that I feel strongly about, I guess I'm self-conscious about...because when I try to verbalize them...I think that they sound like bragging. It's one thing to be aware of your gifts and talents and to appreciate them, and then its totally something different to allow yourself to have the "big head". So as honestly and as humbly as I can, these are the purposes that I feel have manifest themselves in my life: One purpose of my life is to have a loving and giving heart and to share that with others. That is not to say that I am always a softie. I am straightforward and plain spoken...although I try to be tactful. Music is one way of doing that. I can't really explain how, except to say that I pour my heart and my soul into my music...whether I'm playing, singing, or composing and I hope that people can feel my love when they listen. Another purpose is to encourage and enlighten. I am a natural teacher. I have been for as long as I can remember. And even though I'm an educator by profession, its more than a job...it is who I am. I don't know if that has shed any light or not. Too, we all may think we know what our purposes are...but years from now, we may have a deeper understanding and realize that it was different than what we believed it to have been. Becky

Wow, did I need that! I have been so selfish lately, wallowing in my self-pity. I used to spend a lot of time wondering about my purpose in life. One of the motivational seminars I went to one time talked about companies having mission statements and said that we personally should have mission statements. At the time, I spent every spare moment and every spare dollar on writing letters, sending gifts, etc., as part of an organization that sent mail to our military. I realized I couldn't make a huge difference in the world, but I could do SOMETHING. A lot of those people were in desolate places fighting for our freedom, and I felt I could make a difference. So I came up with my mission statement: My purpose in life is to shine a little light in dark places. I wrote those letters for years. I finally stopped because I was neglecting my own basic needs to do things for them and well, the main reason was because almost every letter I got back was something to the effect of "Send me a photo of you naked. I bet you have the cutest little butt and long, thin legs. How big are your boobs?" Anyway, since I weighed over 300 lbs., I figured they wouldn't want to write to me anymore. They always loved my letters, until I sent them a photo and then they would stop writing to me. So I was disillusioned, to say the least. I did send a few hundred books to Iraq in the past few months to those who had requested books, and several boxes of coffee, toiletries, etc., that they had requested, but there is just no money for the postage and again, I was neglecting my own basic needs to try to send them things. But I still feel that it is my mission in life to shine a little light in dark places. I know it sounds kind of hokey, but it seems to fit the way that my heart feels. Here lately though, I have begun to feel that it is my mission, at this time, to make my own self my favorite charity. I need to take care of me. It's the most difficult thing I have ever done though. I'm not used to taking care of myself. And I'm not doing a good job of it. Everything that needs to be done either is something I don't know how to do or something I can't physically do or something that takes money. So I am just sinking lower and lower in depression because I am not used to feeling so totally helpless. I have always wanted to write books and I used to have this stupid fantasy about turning my life around and becoming a motivational speaker. My psychologist keeps telling me that there are people who would benefit from my story and that I should write a book. Jacquie has always told me I should write books. Other people have told me I should write books. And I know that that is what I want to do. I do write a little, but I am so overwhelmed with the depression and my clutter problem and my financial and medical problems that I can't concentrate on anything. My Adult Attention Deficit Disorder is taking me over at the moment. I can't concentrate unless I am in a peaceful, uncluttered environment. And I haven't seen peaceful in so long. Sundays just about do me in at my parents' house. I do much better in conversations that I WRITE instead of when I talk. Since I have the problem with attention, it's hard to get my thoughts together to talk to people and once I get my thoughts together and start to speak, I lose my train of thought because I start a sentence and most people interrupt before you can even finish one sentence and then I'm lost. Then I try to get another sentence out and another interruption. No one is allowed to talk at my mother's house because she has to talk every single second. She will ask me a question, but I'm never allowed to answer it. I will start and then she interrupts. This happens, as you know, with most people. For someone with attention deficit disorder, it is overwhelming, CRIPPLING. Anyway, the only time I am able to get my thoughts out is by writing and sometimes even that gets interrupted when some loud people are yelling in the hallway here at my apartments. By the way, I am not talking about anyone here when I talk about interruptions. I'm sure they happen, but it's not so bad that it overwhelms me. Jacquie especially is AMAZING. She always asks me questions about how I'm doing and then she LISTENS TO ME TELL HER. But most people in this world interrupt. I think that's why I have so few friends. I am not mentally capable of all the chatter. I even watch TV with the "mute" on most of the time. I can talk a mile a minute myself and I know I interrupt a lot too but I want to work on that. I want to learn to just keep my mouth shut most of the time because no one really cares what I say anyway. But people seem to like what I write...sometimes....unless there is a ~ in their names and then they don't like anything I have to say. Well, speaking of shutting up, I have written too long here, but I'm glad you posted this. I need to think about this and write it all out to myself. I always seemed to know who I was...writer, artist, workaholic, **** just kidding...maybe, cook, etc. But now that I can't be the workaholic I used to be, all I think I am is fat and worthless. I do have a vision of who I WANT to be, but it all depends on regaining my health, which means WLS which means AETNA IS IN CHARGE OF MY LIFE. I need to work on my depression most of all and I need to take care of myself and my health. Ok, I'm gonna shut up now. I have lots to think about. Thanks Kim for getting me thinking. I love ya'll, Joni

Ive often asked myself this many times. What are we here for and WHY do we have to go through the things we do? In times of tradgedy, things happen we do not understand and seek answers for. I do anyway. Ive been seeking to answer these questions for years now. About 2 years before my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, she went under a 18 wheeler in Atlanta. Almost took off the top of her head, only 3 inches of skin, kept it intact. Miraculously she survived, but was in a coma for 3 weeks before she came out of it. WHY did she have to go through this, only to die from cancer 2 years later? BTW, she graduated with honors from Emory Univ. with her Nurse Practioner degree, 2 months AFTER this accident. It was one miracle after another with this experience. Im still trying to understand this one! Normally one would have massive brain damage from a severe head injury, she woke up with no damage whatsoever to her brain, motor functions or speech patterns. It was just like she had slept for 3 weeks and woke from a long nap. I am guessing my role in life is to be a healer, be it from physical aspect from disease or the spiritual aspect. I seem to find myself in situations where there is a need for some kind of healing. My name means "helper of mankind". Do a search for the meaning of your name. Its interesting to see what the meanings are and how close does it actually come to your personality? I do find myself wanting to help anyone as much as I can. I find myself trying to be the peacekeeper and I like harmony and balance, but that is part of the Libra personality as well. Ive come to realize that everything in this life is meant to be a lesson. There is something to gain and learn from, even from the bad stuff we encounter. Alot of times, it sucks, but you can look back on the experience and see why you had to go through it to start with. Sometimes it takes a long time to see the forest for the trees, but eventually it will click Sandy

Joni! You are NOT fat and worthless. You happen to be one of my best friends ever. You are talented (very), a great writer, non-judgmental, giving (at times to a fault), loving, etc. I remember you helping my Mom decorate for a Christmas open house, cooking dinner for five so that I could impress my parents and aunt and uncle (for no pay), making a beautiful and delicious wedding cake for my son's wedding, I could go on and on. For your information, Mom just passed through and I stopped her and asked her how she would describe you as a person and she said, "She is very thoughtful and loving, she is very giving . . . like her coming over and helping me decorate for Christmas." I know at times we just focus on the negative about ourselves, but I love you dearly, old friend, and my life is better for you having been a part of it. There have been times when your kindness and caring towards me has kept me from just giving up. So do not call one of the best people in my life "fat and worthless."

Thank you, my friend. That does make me feel better. I had forgotten about cooking that dinner. I remember you said ya'll spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I had folded the napkins all fancy like I had learned how to do at the Marriott! LOL Oh my gosh...that wedding cake. The leaning tower of wedding cake. I was so scared it was going to topple over. I don't guess it brought much luck to the happy couple, but at the time... That Christmas party was fun too. That was the one where your mama introduced us as "This is my daughter Jacquie and my daughter Joni and my other daughter Joni." I love your parents. Thank you for being there for me....young friend. Don't be calling me old, Missy or there won't be any more cheese dip for you. I love you, Joni

Kim, You always have such wonderful thought provoking questions. Wow, you made me think this morning. I don't exactly know what my purpose in life is but I do know how I want to be remembered. I want to be remembered as someone who gives a damn. Someone who is loving, kind, and forgiving. Someone who made a difference to just one person. Does that make sense? I have done many things in my life so I can't necessary base my purpose in my life on my careers but I think they have helped make me the person I am today. I think if I like myself then someone else will like me too. I try to be nuturing, understanding and compassionate. I am rambling but this is tough! Boy my brain is stirring! I will have to think hard about this before I write more. I might not be able to write more! Gail

I'm glue -- I keep my family close to one another and help others piece their lives back together. How's that for a simple, quick answer?