Helmut

I got a phone call this morning - he'll be back in the States on Sunday!!! That's partial good news - the bad, he'll be in New York!!!! Still too far to drive to visit - but much closer than Germany! At this point, he's not sure how long he'll be there, but it looks promising that he could be there a while. We shall see!! I know several of you have asked -- so just an update (although not a whole lot of info at this point)! Love you guys ~

I've heard you mention him, but don't know who he is, but I'm glad he's in the States if that makes you happy. I'm assuming he's a beau of sorts? Long way to New York though. How'd you meet him? We want a good juicy story..... Love, Joni

Ok -- the quick version -- the last entry from my "Perry Fender" journal -- May 11, 2005 It has been a LONG time since I've updated this profile (for many reasons - but no need to go into that for now - hopefully that problem is solved - and if not, HEY YOU (and you know who YOU is) GET A LIFE AND LEAVE IT ALONE - I just was NOT "into you" - get over it! I've left out the "personal details" of my life for several months because of a comfort level that I used to have, and have not had in a long time. I've reached a point now that I just don't give a flying rats ass - so I'm back! Anyway, as to what has been going on in my life as of late -- back in January I had a car wreck that I'm still suffering the consequences of (torn rotor cuff/nerve damage in the neck & shoulder region) but miraculously made it through (me and Helmut - who is another German that I've been seeing since the wreck). http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/96232693.jpg We were on our third date and went to visit a co-worker of mine (actually, she called to ask if I would bring her boyfriend [Helmut's colleague] up to her house since she lived so far out and directions would have been futile). We were on the way back into Montgomery to take Helmut home and get my car when we happened upon a dead deer in the road. When we slammed on the brakes to miss it, we lost control of the car and wound up 35-40 ft. deep in a ravine with the nose of the car butted up against a culvert. http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/96232698.jpg We were taken by ambulance from the wreck site to the hospital, where I sustained injury to my right shoulder and minor bruises and he suffered from a nicked spleen and broken rib. We were very lucky! So - now let me explain Helmut. http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/93807194.jpg I never had any intentions of "dating" him. When I met him, he wanted to learn better English and American customs and I wanted to learn about German customs and the language - so it all started out as a friendship. He is 51 (his birthday was March 11th [and for HIS birthday, he gave me a silver/diamond necklace because it made him "happy"]), extremely aggressive, and was under the misconception that the word "no" meant "maybe" (which I quickly remedied). We both took a week off from work following the wreck (too doped up on painkillers to do anything - so it's not like we had "playtime"). During that week, we spent every waking hour together and really got to know one another (and the crazy son of a ****** forgot his underwear when I brought him up to my house to stay for a couple of days and I even talked him into a pair of my red boy-short red thong panties). http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/93807175.jpg He is what every woman claims to want - very funny, personable, attentive, affectionate, doting, etc. http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/93807188.jpg From the very first day that I met him, he was insistent that we were going to be together - regardless how many times I resisted. He had asked me out to dinner the very first night I met him, and of course - I turned him down - and he kept on insisting, so I gave him my number and the rest is history. He has called me every day (even when he had gone home for "vacation" in Germany), cooks gourmet dinners for me (OMG - he's an incredible cook), takes care of every little detail of everything I could ever want, treats me like a queen and spends countless hours thinking of ways to make me happy - what a dream! Of course, there is a downfall to all of this - he has to eventually return "home" to Germany, never to return - that day is today. We found out almost a month ago that his contract was up here and we've made the most of what little time we've had left by enjoying every second we've had together. The first weekend we knew that his contract was up, we went down to Panama City Beach (because he'd never been to the beach in the U.S.) and had an enjoyable/relaxing weekend (he worked 7 days a week, 10-12 hours a day for 6 weeks straight before getting a 10 day leave to go home to Germany to visit his sons). http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/93807196.jpg This past week we went down to Titusville/Kennedy Space Center, http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/96232705.jpg Universal Studios Orlando (which was disappointing - we were expecting THRILL rides, what we got were "kiddie" rides) http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/96232737.jpg and then on to Daytona Beach (where we met up with Charlie C. - what a doll! http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=C1010984218 Daytona was a very odd place - I've never been on a "wet" beach before!!! We laid out the blanket to soak in some rays and within seconds we were drenched (and NO, we were not in the surf!) Once we'd had our fill, we went up to the terrace of the hotel to rinse off - where I happened to catch the backside of Charlie as she was peddling her little butt off down the beach! I kept an eye out for her on her return route and finally caught her attention and she came up to sit with us on the pool deck! http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/96232743.jpg What a sweet, sweet lady! We sat and talked about so many things that have changed in our lives from pre to post-op. Charlie is someone who I can honestly call "REAL." She has no secrets and nothing is off limits - I loved her from the second I met her! That night Doug (Charlie's sweetie), Charlie, Helmut and I went to DJ's on the Beach - she said the seafood was incredible and she wasn't kidding! http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/96232750.jpg Not only was the food great - so was the scenery! http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/96232732.jpg http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/96232719.jpg We watched the sun go down over the water and Charlie gave us the "tour" of the inlet. http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/96232723.jpg http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL82/1562578/7214255/96232761.jpg We both LOVED it! We ended the night at a bar/grille down the bay inlet - which I thought was rather odd since very young children were in this nightclub! What in the hell are these parents thinking?!?! Charlie and I got into too deep of a subject since Doug veered us back into "silly" conversations and roller coaster rides nationwide (he's a cutie Charlie - hang onto him!) We ended our Florida trip a day early to come home and do laundry and pack up his belongings so that we could do some REAL thrill rides in Atlanta (where I was to pick up a friend of ours from the airport on a return trip from Germany [Richard's girlfriend - Richard is pictured above in the group shot with Lui]). Only being away from a computer, I had no idea that Six Flags was going to be closed, so we spent the day MEAT shopping (yup, we're packing him an ice chest to take home with him). So we spent the day relaxing and visits with friends coming by to say their goodbyes before heading up to Atlanta on a wild goose chase for some "burn your ass" Dave's Insanity hot sauce. We finally found it after spending a week searching (of course, calling the company to find out where they distributed helped!) So we got Helmut packed last night - 3 HUGE suitcases and one roll-away ice chest! I swear he's going to have to pay out the nose to board his luggage! Of all things he's taking home - he's packed 6 HUGE bottles of BBQ sauce, 12 bottles of sugar-free vanilla syrup (yep, I've gotten him addicted to "crack" and he's buying his own "home crack lab" when he returns to Germany), 20 bags of beef jerky, ****tail sauce, lots of Spiderman memorabilia (funny joke - he has been dubbed "Spiderman" from all of the "barking spiders" [gas, farts, poots, whatever you want to call it]) to remind him of the states, and other random American things (mostly food products). I guess for someone who should have been a chef - it's not so bizarre to think of all of the food stuff he's taking home. I sure am going to miss his funny little ways! As for Lui - I've had a lot of people ask me about him here lately. Lui is a very fond memory - but reality is - he's from Germany, he has a child in Germany, and he has a life in Germany - whereas, I'm American, I have a life in America, and I have dreams and goals that have finally resurfaced in a thing called "reality." I wish American men were as gentle, open, accepting, and loving as German men - but alas, they are not and I will long for the open mindedness and unconditional acceptance that most foreign men grant us American women. I still keep in touch with him (and will keep in touch with Helmut too) - and if either ever make it back to America, I hope to see them again. Anyway - I digress - the whole point of this is that I've finally reached a point of acceptance - not only with "life" but with everyone around me. I'm very grateful for all of the people who have come into my life since surgery (and the only reason they have been able to come into my life is that I am willing to LIVE it instead of locking myself away). I have met a lot of wonderful people and have made some really strong friendships (both online and off). I am grateful each day for everything I have and everyone I've met - I would not change a thing, even if I could. There have been so many things that have happened in these past few months - and just not enough time to update about them here now. But suffice it to say - I'm "back" and will update more regularly again as things in life unfold for me.

Oh Nil! What a sweet sweet story! I know that everything will be just exactly as it should be and that you will continue to receive the many blessings that you deserve! I love you spirit and your ability to embrace this beautiful journey that we call life. kim

Hey Nil, Thanks for posting this! I've been wondering about Helmut...I recognized that the name was German...and wondered the story of how you guys met, what was going on...etc. I spent 3 years in Germany with the ex husband and absolutely loved it! That's been over 15 years ago...we were there when the Berlin wall came down. My current hubby, Mike, spent 3 years in Germany too...we were both in the Wurzburg area, just 15 years apart! We both love the food, the wine, and the way things are done there. My Deutche skills pretty much suck now, because I haven't had anyone to practice with in 15 years. I was never fluent, but could understand enough that I could follow a conversation. I still do some german cooking from time to time...maybe if Helmut is here for a while, we could get together. I know that you cherish your time with him...so if the opportunity arises, let us know! Can you tell that I am into socializing?! I'm much more social than Mike...he can spend a good bit of time alone...I have to be around people or I tend to get mean...lol Anyway, have a great weekend...its good to see you posting! Becky

I've never been the "social" person that I'm becoming. Typically, I don't plan anything in advance, I just go! I've met some very interesting and influential people over the past year. My best-friend (an 80-year old man), a couple of dozen Germans here as part of Hyundai's move to the US, and one higher up with the Department of Energy! Each one that I've met has imparted upon me great wisdom and great lessons in tolerance and patience... I now have my heart set on applying with the U.S. Department of State - although I missed this years testing by 2.5 months! I will at least have next year to apply and would love to have a job that pays me to travel all over the world working with executives and political heads of state! My DOE friend is helping to clean up my resume for that endeavor! I've been looking at jobs in Germany/Austria so as to be a little closer to Helmut -- so far I've not found anything that would accept my application without having served in the arm forces! I envy you in your having had the opportunity to travel -- I would so enjoy that since most of my life, my feet have been BURIED here - but again, that was of my own choosing (I wouldn't leave my grandmother). I will let you know when I make it to your area because I would so love to meet you! In the meantime - I do know there's a July function in the works -- I think it is set for July 9. I cannot promise that I will be in attendance, but I will certainly try! Big hugs and lots of love -

Wow! I was expecting something like, "Oh, he's a German dude I dated for a while." Man, oh man, oh man, I'd be packing my suitcase and getting my passport and heading to Germany! Incredibly handsome, sweet AND he can COOK? Oh yeah, I'd be going to Germany. I thoroughly enjoyed reading, seeing the pictures. I actually sat here and had a good cry seeing my beloved Florida, especially the pelican. I love pelicans. Dang, I miss Florida. Thanks for the wonderful story. I wish you both well and hope you get to spend tons of time together in the future, that there may be something come up where you can be together. Love, Joni

Well at least he is closer, and there is always priceline.com or one of the other sites where you can go online and name a price for some round trip tickets! My cousin did this when he and his wife went to Paris, the entire trip, plus hotel fees and souvienrs cost them less than a thousand for the entire weekend. I think the round trip tickets were around 300 and hotel was 56 dollars a night, but they stayed in a locally run B & B and not a major outlet. He is always finding deals on trips like this, so give it a shot. Im just not that lucky finding deals like this myself. Of course this was right after 9/11 too and you could just about name any price you wanted for a airline ticket at that time. I lived in Wurzberg Germany for 6 years. My sister was born there, and I hope one day to go back there and visit, they have some amazing castles and the food is fantastic! Ive even learned to make Rouladen. I will have to dig out my recipe for ya. Have a great day! Love Ya, Sandy

Nil, I don't know why, but I thought you were a man. Not only are you not a man, you are a very attractive woman. Wishing you the best of luck with Helmut. Jacquie

According to my brothers, I have "bigger balls" than both of them put together -- so you might not be too far off! Thanks for the compliment!