Bitterweet Day for me

Good morning all! I was extremely busy yesterday and didn't get to "play" on here much, but was lurking around, trying to keep up with everybody. I think I'm the only one here without a FACE!! I must put up a picture.....but since I broke my camera last weekend, don't know when it will be! Maybe my Stepdaughter will help me this weekend. Three years ago today, my Mom passed away. It's kinda sad for me today.....but three years ago, it was almost a relief and a blessing to hold her as she took her last breath. She'd been in so much pain for so long and it felt so good to know she wasn't hurting anymore. I truely believe that God ALWAYS gives us what we need in times of heartache because last night, I was digging through an old box of "junk" in the basement looking for my voice activated tape recorder for work and I came across my old answering machine. i took it out of the box and there was a tape still in it.....so I plug it up and press play and there was a message from my Mom (before she was sick) just leaving a message as she was driving to Biloxi for the weekend....no real significance in the message, but it was such a huge comfort to hear her voice! I must have played that message about 20 times. Pam (my SO) came downstairs and I'm sitting there in the middle of the basement floor playing with the answering machine. I know she thought I was crazy, but when I told her what it was, she sat down with me and listened and held me and let me cry and laugh. It was the first time she'd ever heard my Mom's voice. Don't mean to be a downer today.....I just need to share. I hope everyone has a GREAT FRIDAY!! Hugs, Kim

Kim, You just gave me goose bumps! How special was that though! If there are little tabs in that tape so it can't be erased make sure you punch them. You just brought tears to my eyes! Gail

Kim!!!!!!!!! You have me balling.....I have no parents or grandparents. Just one sister. Both of my parents died in 94- a longggg time ago. I was young. I love you girl. And I LOVE all my new special friends. I may not have parents, but do yall know who my BEST friend is??????? It's DIXIE!!!!

Awwwwww Kim! {{{{HUGZ}}}} Its not a downer, sometimes we just have to say what we have too. I think it is a good thing to have that tape to remind you of your Mom. I have some videos of my Mom. I can not hardly stand to watch them sometimes and then I can watch them all day long. My Mom has been gone for 12 years and I MISS her more everyday! I have tapes of my sister that just make me a pile of blubbering jello. I found one she made in college. It is a HOOT! It starts off like she and her roomate are making a movie, the remake of "Valley Of The Dolls", complete with wardrobe and scenery, the whole 9 yrds. It turned into a lavish production, with them even going to different locations around Atlanta to shoot scenes. I found this after her death and I treasure it! Now I have an explanation for the photos I found of her dressed in costume, they must have taken alot of photos the day they shot this. Ive come to learn as long as we can talk about our memories of those that have left us, that they have never really left us to begin with. They will always remain within your heart and memory. Love, Sandy

Ohhhh Kim, I'm sorry you feel down. Everyone always says remember the good things...and that is true. Sometimes it is hard to not remember the suffering too. I know I feel this way about my grandfather when I listen to tapes of us when I was a child or my wedding video, he gave me away. I also have several home videos with him in it. It makes me sad, but it also brings warmth to me. I miss him soo much. I wouldn't have wanted him to suffer though. I hope your day is filled with all those good memories and that you never feel alone. Have a wonderful day. Beth

What a gift that tape must be! Maybe you can make a copy of it just in case something happens to that one. I still have my parents, but I do have some friends and other relatives who have passed away that I would give so much to hear their voices again. And to have a video...oh my god, that would be the most wonderful, horrible thing there could be. I've often wondered how the families of movie stars feel when they see their loved ones onscreen after they have passed, seeing them young and vibrant. It is getting close to the anniversary of the death of a close friend who committed suicide a year ago and I would love to have something, anything, of his. I don't even have a photo of him. But I remember. People never really die because they are always alive in our hearts. Love, Joni