Co Workers Comments

Overall the majority of my co workers have been supportive pre op and remain supportive. Im only one, out of at least 10, who have undergone the RNY so it is like having an additional support system at work. I am even blessed to have a co worker, with one week difference in our surguries and we do our walking and eating together. However, I have one supervisor who has done nothing but diss WLS from day one. Keep in mind, she is around 350 lbs if not MORE, severe diabetic who sits and eats candy, cookies & junk at her desk and she is an RN so it isnt like she does not know what she is doing to herself! She has also mentioned she already has a compromised liver , and therefore none of her doctors have recommended the surgury for her, they only tell her how "bad" it would be for HER, but she has turned it into how BAD it is for EVERYONE in her mind. I think deep down she really wants it but can't because of the condition of her liver and she can not get a referral from any of her doctors for it. She did share one doctor has told her if she had the surgury she would have cirrohiss of the liver within 5 years. This person is a very high risk pre op, with severe breathing problems and other conditions that would not make her a candidate for the RNY. Since I have been back at work, she has confessed to looking into the Lapband, however our insurance will not pay for it. I have given her information on Birmingham surgeons who have a set rate, for self pay with the lapband. She asked how much I had lost and I told her, and she came back with "Well if you had just done this before you wouldnt have needed the surgury" I quickly put her in her place and told her that wasn't true. I have a disease and it was called an addiction to food. Much like a drug addict needs his fix or an alcoholic needs a drink, I had used food to the point of where I had no self control over what I put in my mouth or the amount. This surgury gives me a tool to control the portion size and since I no longer have much space in my tummy I choose to fill it with protein and healthy choices rather than junk. I KNOW I do not want any blood clots and to prevent this I HAVE to exercise, this is my motivating factor to keep me moving. Pre op, I just didnt care! I left it at that and I have not encountered any further negative comments other than "I will have liver and gall bladder problems the rest of my life" and "This surgury kills". I am determined, along with my close post op friend, to show her this surgury is not what she percieves it to be. Deep down I think she already knows all I have told her and just will not admit she too has an addiction to food and just can not stop without an intervention of some sort. Im just curious how you have dealt with negative co workers or negative family and friends? Love & Light, Sandy

Sandy, Tell the negative co workers to bite your booty...LOL just joking. I haven't dealt with anyone negative yet. I did have someone ask me if i exercised. Well...yeah. I walk. I did Curves all last year. It really didn't help much. Anyway, I have negativity. I'm not sure how I will deal with it. Beth

OOOPSSSS>>>>>>typo....I meant I hate negativity

She is very negative but I think it is a cry for help most of all. I dont think for one minute she is happy, just does not know how to express herself without being negative. I do not like negativity at all and esp. in the workplace, Im just giving her lapband info and letting her take it from there. Love, Sandy

OOOOPSSS...I meant to say I hate negativity.

Sandy, That sucks that your co-worker is being so negative but I think deep down she is really upset due to her conditions that she can not have it. Bear with her, to a point, and if she asks you in the future about surgery just give her what she needs. Fortunately I work in a small office environment and have not dealt with this negativity from co workers. All of the ones in my office have been really supportive although they did have tons of questions the first time I ate in front of them! I just gave them their answers and they ewed and awed. Gail

Hi Gail, Thats my plan, Im not going out of my way to bring up the subject but if she asks me I will try to help her out. Mealtimes at work are so funny, most have the perception I will have to eat chicken grilled or lots of tuna and chicken salad for the rest of my life Im not suppose to be able to order out or ever eat a bite of bread they were flabbergasted when I ordered out chinese. Shrimp Lo Mein, and I just ate the shrimp and mushrooms. One co worker, Joseph sat his butt down with a bag of peanut M & M's, not thinking, offered me some which I declined and he apologized saying he forgot I couldnt have those. I corrected him and said I could have a few if I wanted em, I just choose not to eat em right now but do not persecute me if I decide down the road I am going to put a few M & M's in my mouth I cant wait until we order out pizza, they will be blown away I can eat pizza. On the other hand I am turning them on to alot of good sugar free stuff. I have made the sugar free dirt cake, pies, and cheesecake and taken it to work, they just can not believe this stuff is sugar free but trust me it is.. Aint it GRAND! Love, Sandy

She's probably scared. I know I went to several doctors...one time each. The first visit, the doctors would not address any problems I had, they would just start in on me about my weight. Several of them suggested WLS. I was furious. I wanted people to accept me as I was. I was relatively healthy and didn't think my weight affected my health at all. Then my body started breaking down...and it did it quickly. It wasn't a gradual thing at all. I had had some knee pain, but it was bearable. Then suddenly, I couldn't get up out of chairs, I was in pain all the time, I couldn't walk without a cane. And I still didn't really connect it with my weight. I know that my medical problems aren't all the cause of being fat, BUT it certainly makes it more difficult for me. Trying to get up out of a chair is almost impossible. It hurts so damned bad, BUT if I were 210 lbs. less, it would be SO much easier. It took a while for me to "get it," to realize that a lot of my medical problems were caused by me and me alone. I wanted so badly for people to love me for me, for who I was, not for what I looked like. And I resented people who would be dieting and losing weight, however they were doing it. I felt like they were betraying me and all the other fat people in the world. An intervention would not have helped me. It's a decision you have to come to on your own. If she choses to eat herself to death, that is her choice. I know that interventions for alcoholism or drug abuse are successful, but usually with that, they can go to a center and get clean. There's so much involved with WLS. I know if some people had gotten together and done an intervention with me, first off, I would have told them to go to hell, but even if I had agreed, my insurance would still have said nope, you can't do this, you have to do this and this and this and this and months and months from now, we will deny your request and then you can appeal and go months and months again. The only thing you can do is allow her to be who she is and if she dies from it, there's nothing you can do. I may be wrong, but I know there is absolutely nothing anyone could have said or done to make me understand what I was doing to myself. I had to come to the decision on my own. Co-workers....there's always going to be one who is going to be dissing about something. It's good you have the support of others there. Good luck! Love, Joni

Sometimes I just wanna take her by the shoulders and shake her and others just give her a hug. I cant change who she is or what she knowingly does to herself, she is already aware of it without hearing it from me, but now she is having alot more co morbidities, just recently diagnosed as diabetic and put on insulin, and most recently now she has COPD. It worries me knowing her chances are increased for surgical complications with breathing and waking up because of her COPD. I wish I could do something for her to help but my hands are tied until she asks for it. I know if she did not already have a liver disease she would go for this surgury. The liver disease is what scares her the most and you can not play around with liver issues. I find that by being honest and admitting I am addicted to food and had no control over my bingeing, may have helped more. I know she is a binge eater too, she is going to have to make that first step and admit it, then ask for help. I will be there when she does. Love, Sandy