I feel horrible about myself!

Hi My name is Maria and today I made that phone call that I believe will change my life. My height is 4'11, weight 241, and my (BMI) is 48. I feel very bad about myself. There are evenings when I am taking a bath and start to cry because of the way I look. I have tried dieting, therapy, and even working out. They don't work for me. When I walk, I have to stop just to catch my breath. Today I was scheduled for an appointment at St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital for the Weight Lost Surgery Clinic, and I am very happy that I made the call. They scheduled me for May 25, and I can't believe I have to wait so long. For now I am going to start dieting and excersing. If any one out there can suggest on other things I can do, I would most appreciate it. Feeling sad, and lonely Chubby.

Donna hugging you close I know all to well how your feeling. Before December 9th I used to cry a lot as I felt like life cheated me. I felt worthless because I could not breath when walking and every bone in my body would hurt at times. My health was going down hill. May is only 3 months away. Tell yourself you can hang in there. Believe me every step you do you'll be one step closer to your surgery. Just don't GIVE UP. What ever they tell you to do then do it. I used to get so sick of going to Doctors and all the darn tests that where running on me but it was well worth it in the long run because since my surgery I have only seen one Doctor and that's my surgeon Feel free to email me anytime you feel the need to vent [email protected] Hugs Donna

Thank you Donna your response did a world of good. I can identify with your body hurting you at times. My own weight does not allow me to travel far distance, and especially climb stairs. I am 39 yrs old and I too have always been fat. It hurts how people look at you and start talking. I had to put my mother-in-law in her place a few times when she tried to joke on my weight. I am so tired of all the fat jokes! My only source of insurance is medicaid and I pray they approve the surgery. At the present time I am disabled due to my weight. Thank you once again.

From what I understand is that medicaid is paying for WLS. I think they are getting wise and realizing that it's cheaper to pay for someone to get well then sit around and do nothing. We shall all pray that they approve you soon. Donna

One last thing. SHAME on your Mother in-law. I would have told her to grow up and get a life. In all honesty I stopped going around my husbands family because his mother made remarks, not about me but about how her son can only seem to date fat women. HELLO!! some people see the inner beauty within a person and the ones that can't see that beauty, forgive them for they are ignorant. You have a good weekend Donna

You wanted us to suggest some things that you could do while you wait for your session in May. Was May the weight loss seminar for informaton, or do you already have a surgery date? If is your surgery date, then you are very lucky. If it only the appointment to talk to the surgeon then you do have awhile to wait. Here are suggestions (some you may have already taken care of.) 1) Have you arranged for your PCP to refer you to the WLS doctor? (Call the surgeons office to ask the receptionist is he/she requires it. Mine does.) 2) Have you been reading the profiles of people on here? If not, read some of them. It will give you information that you need about tests and things that are required and how much weight you can lose month by month. (Gives you inspiration to be able to plan ahead and daydream about your losing days.) 3) Start a file of things you are going to be able to do once you are thinner, or clothes you would like to wear -- but don't wear now. You can tear pictures out of magazines -- sort of planning for later. You could also do the same thing with cute hair cuts for your new slimmer face. 4) Sort through your clothes and see if there are any that you used to wear but can't wear now because they are too tight. You could freshen them up and put them in one spot in your closet for when you need smaller things and you current clothes start to fall off of your body. 5) See if there is a support group for the WLS surgery in your area and attend. This will give you more information about the surgery and things you need to know. 6) Start a file of recipes that will be needed for after your surgery, and names of protein, vitamins etc. This should give you something to do while you wait, and get your mind off of the time left. (I started this process in Oct., and am very lucky to have an April date for surgery.... it took me 6 months to get to my surgery date, and this is IF nothing happens to delay it.) Keep your chin up!

Thank you for all your suggestions. The appointment I have scheduled in May is to talk to the doctor, and to bring in my refferal letter. I just pray my insurance will not deny to pay for it.

Maria, I would also suggest that you go ahead and start a diet with your primary care doctor documenting it if you haven't already so you're ahead of the game if the insurance wants you to show diet history. Be sure to have your doctor's records show everything you can. Good luck!