Two Insurance Plans - Both with issues...Looking for HELP

It looks as if you have coordinated benefits, which is the same as being covered by two separate insurance policies. Because your employer is AT&T, UnitedHealthcare will be your primary insurer followed up by your husband's self-insured plan.  If bariatric surgery is not covered under your primary plan, you can submit that information to your secondary insurer for coverage.  Of course, coverage under your secondary insurer will be based on your plan's limitation.  If the insurer requires a three-year waiting period before considering bariatric surgery, then it is typically a hard and fast rule that most likely cannot be changed--at least not without some type of legal intervention.  It's much easier to fight with "regular" insurance plans than with self-funded ones. From the information you have presented, your options by yourself seem limited.  If you feel the situation is exigent, then you might want to consider speaking with an attorney about your options going forward. I wish you the best you in your endeavors.