dont know if i am in the right place but...

I had my bypass in Feb of 04. Got pregnant 8 months out. Healthy baby boy born 8 weeks ago. my issue is that i started my journey at 448 pounds. two weeks after the birth of my son i was down to 295 and today i am up again to 311. I know why and i am working on correcting that starting now. I am ashamed about the weight gain but more ashamed at some of the other habits i picked up. Most times i eat i make myself get sick for fear that i will gain weight. I know its stupid and doesnt help in the weight loss but i still do it. Its like this, i want to eat so i do but then i feel so yucky after i eat that most of the time i will throw up to get it out. I know i eat too much sometimes and that makes the getting sick much easier. Anyway, does anyone else have problems with this? I feel like i am starting a whole new set of problems. Allison