Feeling a bit beaten
I am pre-op. Like months pre-op. I have yet to have my Psych Eval. But I did see the nutritionist. I've been trying so hard to do what I'm supposed to. The past 2 days I've not been calorie counting. I stopped after I had a bit of a breakdown in the grocery store. I bought a small amount of cake and ate it. I cried. My weight isnt moving downward like I had hoped it would. My A1c did however move quite a bit in the past 3 months. from 11.2 to 8.2. I am extremely insulin resistant. I take a lot of insulin.
Right now I'm just sad. My psych eval is not until the 10th of next month and it feels so long. I keep trying, keep pushing. But it feels like I'm going nowhere. I want to eat a lot of the time. I want to eat sugar stuff a bunch. The craivings don't go away after an hour or two, they persist for days if I don't give in.
I guess I'm just looking for someone who understands. Has anybody else gone though this? Or is going through this?
Right now I'm just sad. My psych eval is not until the 10th of next month and it feels so long. I keep trying, keep pushing. But it feels like I'm going nowhere. I want to eat a lot of the time. I want to eat sugar stuff a bunch. The craivings don't go away after an hour or two, they persist for days if I don't give in.
I guess I'm just looking for someone who understands. Has anybody else gone though this? Or is going through this?
Oh have I been there!!! I think we all have from time to time. I am 22 months post op and I still have those moments. I LOVE sweets. However, I have had to adapt them to my new life style. I am not going to sugar coat (oops, no pun intended) this for you. Every day is a day we can mess up but every day is a new day to start over and get it right.
Try a few of these options when your craving sweets:
- Sugar free cool whip. Eaten frozen straigt out of the freezer and it is better than ice cream to me. (use a fork and it is is easier to get out of the container).
- Sugar free cool whip. Thawed with dry sugar free jello mixed in. Mix it up and put it in the fridg for about 20 minutes. I sometimes add fruit the flavor of the jellow I use (strawberrie/manderin oranges)
- Sugar free chocolate chips (found them at Walmart). When I just must have some chocolate.
- Peanut butter mixed with protein powder, rolled into balls, and dipped in the sugar free chocolate. Makes a great buckeye and it has protein from the peanut butter and the powder.
- Search the internet for low-carb WLS dessert ideas. They are out there.
I also have learned to have something sweet to drink all the time too. Crystal light is my constant companion.
You will find after surgery that you will not crave things like that for a long time (atleast I did not) but it may come back and you just need to have your own weapons (such as the items above) for when it does.
Most importantly, don't let one slip up get you down. It cannot happen every day but just know you messed up and to make a healthy you it needs to stop. Therapy was a big part of my being able to keep it all in check. I still go to this day. Good Luck!!!
Try a few of these options when your craving sweets:
- Sugar free cool whip. Eaten frozen straigt out of the freezer and it is better than ice cream to me. (use a fork and it is is easier to get out of the container).
- Sugar free cool whip. Thawed with dry sugar free jello mixed in. Mix it up and put it in the fridg for about 20 minutes. I sometimes add fruit the flavor of the jellow I use (strawberrie/manderin oranges)
- Sugar free chocolate chips (found them at Walmart). When I just must have some chocolate.
- Peanut butter mixed with protein powder, rolled into balls, and dipped in the sugar free chocolate. Makes a great buckeye and it has protein from the peanut butter and the powder.
- Search the internet for low-carb WLS dessert ideas. They are out there.
I also have learned to have something sweet to drink all the time too. Crystal light is my constant companion.
You will find after surgery that you will not crave things like that for a long time (atleast I did not) but it may come back and you just need to have your own weapons (such as the items above) for when it does.
Most importantly, don't let one slip up get you down. It cannot happen every day but just know you messed up and to make a healthy you it needs to stop. Therapy was a big part of my being able to keep it all in check. I still go to this day. Good Luck!!!
Pre-op: 255 Day of Surgery: 248
Once I had surgery I didn't have cravings at first. I am a little over 3 months post op and am just starting to get those cravings. Let me tell you..don't go to the grocery store during those times. I made that mistake once and ended up buying all this food that I KNEW I couldn't eat and ended up eating maybe a bite or two and then throwing the rest away. The frozen sugar free coolwhip is a delcious dessert...it really does take away that craving for sweets. Also I like greek yogurt...the Dannon kind with fruit on the bottom is just sweet enough to satisfy for me. Also I do sugar free reese cups. Those are my GO to for chocolate. I freeze one and savor every bite. I honestly don't want more than one...all the things I craved before surgery, I now find are too sweet and don't taste right. I was a huge dr. pepper fan, and now I can't even drink a sip!
Hello mydragonmoon!
First, a great big CONGRATULATIONS! on bringing down your A1c down so significantly! I bet that already your health and your body are benefitting, getting healthier because of YOUR efforts.
Whatever you are doing, do more of it, It is working for you!
I can so relate to what you are experiencing. I find that I stop whatever it was that I had started in an effort to get better (like tracking my food and meals) if I have a slip-up. I have trained myself to feel hopeless! I am used to feeling like a failure -- so I tell myself after a slip-up "it's no use. I am a failure. Why try??" But mydragonmoon, you have proven to us here that you are not a failure, but rather you are a person who has the ability to focus on a goal, to change a behavior even if it is difficult -- we know this beyond a shadow of a doubt , because -- of your dramatically lowered A1c levels!
The process of embracing weight loss surgery is NOT about being perfect.
Repeat that to yourself.
Then say, "The process of embracing weight loss surgery IS about learning about myself". When you ate something at the grocery store, it might not have felt good, but it DID give you a terriffic opportunity to learn about yourself. What I am learning about me, mydragonmoon, is that when I eat in a way that is not good for me, there is always a thought or a feeling that came before the food went into my mouth. I am learning how to be aware of these thoughts,and it is hard work because part of my overeating pattern is to hide the thought from myself. So, I have to pay close attention to what is going on inside of my head, and to think back carefully to what was going on in the moments just before something unhealthy is eaten. Maybe your adventure at the grocery store is your moment to ask yourself "what was I thinking to myself -- what was I telling myself -- just before I ate that?" "Are there other times that I tell myself this thought, or similar thoughts?"
Keeping a journal of these things is a very powerful help to me.
There are wonderful books out there that explain this stuff in detail. Some that I find helpful:
Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat -- by Michele May, MD. This is about mindful eating. Dr May also has a website, www.amihungry.com. She has other helpful books on the website, and has just recently published a workbook for weight loss surgery patients! Also look for her on Youtube.
The Weight Loss Surgery Workbook -- by Doreen A. Samelson. This is designed for pre-op folks like you and I, so it is perfect! She talks a lot about the thoughts that go before unhealthy eating, and this is helping me to be more aware of this difficult problem. This is the book that I am currently reading.
(I am not quite sure of the name of this book, something like The Beck Diet: How to Think Like a Thin Person) -- by Judith Beck. I have not yet read this one, but I hear great things about it. There is (or was) a group here on Obesity Help that was reading the book together, and I think that I recall maybe seeing recent posts about it. I think that if you put "Beck" into the Obesity Help search box, you may find some helpful stuff.
Eat It Up! -- by Connie Stapleton. I have not read this one yet either, but I stumbled on this during a websearch about something to do with weight loss surgery. I think that her website is something like
www.mindbodyhealthservices.com . Ms Stapleton is a psychologist who has apparently given presentations at Obesity Help conferences. She also has some great vids on Youtube.
mymoondragon, you are doing just fine. Everything is proceeding quite nicely, it sounds like. Treat your "slip-ups" with kindness and curiosity, ask "this is interesting. What does this tell me about myself and how I relate to food?" You might want to consider a support group like Overeaters Anonymous, too.
Please let us know how you are doing. I looked at your pics on your OH profile page, and I love the one with the little bird on your finger. Looks like two friends enjoying each other's company! It made me smile.
DO. NOT. GiVE. UP!!! Your adventure awaits!!
Hang in there...
==swizzlequeen.
First, a great big CONGRATULATIONS! on bringing down your A1c down so significantly! I bet that already your health and your body are benefitting, getting healthier because of YOUR efforts.
Whatever you are doing, do more of it, It is working for you!
I can so relate to what you are experiencing. I find that I stop whatever it was that I had started in an effort to get better (like tracking my food and meals) if I have a slip-up. I have trained myself to feel hopeless! I am used to feeling like a failure -- so I tell myself after a slip-up "it's no use. I am a failure. Why try??" But mydragonmoon, you have proven to us here that you are not a failure, but rather you are a person who has the ability to focus on a goal, to change a behavior even if it is difficult -- we know this beyond a shadow of a doubt , because -- of your dramatically lowered A1c levels!
The process of embracing weight loss surgery is NOT about being perfect.
Repeat that to yourself.
Then say, "The process of embracing weight loss surgery IS about learning about myself". When you ate something at the grocery store, it might not have felt good, but it DID give you a terriffic opportunity to learn about yourself. What I am learning about me, mydragonmoon, is that when I eat in a way that is not good for me, there is always a thought or a feeling that came before the food went into my mouth. I am learning how to be aware of these thoughts,and it is hard work because part of my overeating pattern is to hide the thought from myself. So, I have to pay close attention to what is going on inside of my head, and to think back carefully to what was going on in the moments just before something unhealthy is eaten. Maybe your adventure at the grocery store is your moment to ask yourself "what was I thinking to myself -- what was I telling myself -- just before I ate that?" "Are there other times that I tell myself this thought, or similar thoughts?"
Keeping a journal of these things is a very powerful help to me.
There are wonderful books out there that explain this stuff in detail. Some that I find helpful:
Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat -- by Michele May, MD. This is about mindful eating. Dr May also has a website, www.amihungry.com. She has other helpful books on the website, and has just recently published a workbook for weight loss surgery patients! Also look for her on Youtube.
The Weight Loss Surgery Workbook -- by Doreen A. Samelson. This is designed for pre-op folks like you and I, so it is perfect! She talks a lot about the thoughts that go before unhealthy eating, and this is helping me to be more aware of this difficult problem. This is the book that I am currently reading.
(I am not quite sure of the name of this book, something like The Beck Diet: How to Think Like a Thin Person) -- by Judith Beck. I have not yet read this one, but I hear great things about it. There is (or was) a group here on Obesity Help that was reading the book together, and I think that I recall maybe seeing recent posts about it. I think that if you put "Beck" into the Obesity Help search box, you may find some helpful stuff.
Eat It Up! -- by Connie Stapleton. I have not read this one yet either, but I stumbled on this during a websearch about something to do with weight loss surgery. I think that her website is something like
www.mindbodyhealthservices.com . Ms Stapleton is a psychologist who has apparently given presentations at Obesity Help conferences. She also has some great vids on Youtube.
mymoondragon, you are doing just fine. Everything is proceeding quite nicely, it sounds like. Treat your "slip-ups" with kindness and curiosity, ask "this is interesting. What does this tell me about myself and how I relate to food?" You might want to consider a support group like Overeaters Anonymous, too.
Please let us know how you are doing. I looked at your pics on your OH profile page, and I love the one with the little bird on your finger. Looks like two friends enjoying each other's company! It made me smile.
DO. NOT. GiVE. UP!!! Your adventure awaits!!
Hang in there...
==swizzlequeen.
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