Okay.... help. 3 years out.

It's SO embarassing - but at least I'm not alone... *takes deep breath and raises hand hesitantly* I am Diana, and I am a serious carb and junk food addict... and despite losing 150 pounds from RNY, I am a chronic relapser.  So it doesn't 'go away'. And I knew that - but I still tested the waters and ate like crap. So I desperately need help.

I have put back on 50 pounds in the last year and a half. I am now only down 100 pounds from my highest. I am back up to 238 - one day shy of my 3 year Surgiversary. It is a hoorible feeling. It SUCKS!

I have put on a good 20-25 pounds since Christmas too - I thought I was doing "good" since I had "only" gained 20-25 pounds back over a 1.5 year period of serious illness and stress, and so I let myself do whatever I wanted since then - and WHAM! Yes, even with RNY and a baseball sized tummy, you *can* gain 20-25 pounds in 4 months. I REALLY didn't want to be my own science project, but here we are...

I have been too ashamed to come back and get help - as I told my WLS doc that I would be the exception to the rule, and a model student. Knowing that I 'can still fit' (tightly now) an 8-10 dress hasn't helped, either - it makes me make rationalizations in my head, even though I can barely get my azz into my size 14 DKNY's without doing the old water sprayer trick: Spray with water, stretch out  width-wise until you bend back a fingernail or get blisters kind of stretch!

Also, even my deluded self is starting to really notice the roundness and the fat filling up my once saggy-baggy skin, and my knees have been bothering me again, and I have been making excuses that my knees are sore, so I can't go back to healthy eating because I can't exercise, yadda yadda yadda - plus there's another issue - I have been drinking WAY WAY too much, and for a long period of time - I am worried I will end up an alcoholic if I don't stop using that as a crutch too.

So , I need help. And fast. Before it gets worse. Please.

Honey I feel your pain!  I am almost 2 years out!  I work in a bank that we bake cookies and give away ice cream.  All I do is eat sweets and carbs and junk.  I try to stop but it is in my face all day.  I am afraid to get on the scales because I am afraid of how much I have gain.  At last check I had gain 15 pds back out ot the 80 after surgery.  I don't know how to stop, I have looked for another job but my husband is unemployed and I have to work and good food (healthy food) is soooo expense.  I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.  Maybe we can get back on track together and help each other. 

Please don't be embarrased. I'm Kari, and I am a serious carb and candy addict...and despite losing 160 lbs. I've gained 60 back.  I just celebrated my 8 year post op on the 12th of April. I'm completely disgusted with myself.
 
I've put a call into my surgeons office to see what I'm doing wrong (I know but want to see what they say). They won't talk to me until I have my labs done. I plan on doing that this week. I spent way to much money to put back on my weight.  As soon as I talk to them I will let you know what they say.

Hang in there!
Kari

I feel your pain!  I was also too embarrassed to get back on here but I HAVE to.  I have put back 17 pounds from my lowest which I know is not that bad but I can no longer fit into my size 10 pants and most of my other clothes :( I am back into 12-14s.  I want to get back in control b/c I am sooooooo scared of getting back to 265 pounds :(  It was so nice to not have to worry about my weight and what I ate for 2 yeras of my life now I am back to this ever lasting daily fight and struggle. I am trying to get back to the basics: 3 meals and only snack on good stuff and back to the gym or some form of exercise 3 times per week.  But go**** is hard!!!!!

I haven't had surgery yet, but I still feel compassion for you.  For some of us food has always and will always be our struggle.  I will do really good for awhile, then I give into temptation.  But it's important to let yourself have those moments, but don't overdo it.  I had continually gained over the years, but the last year or two I have maintained and actually lost, because I think I allowed myself some occasions where I had what I wanted so I didn't feel deprived.  But I really struggle the next or two to get myself back on track.  But it's working I think because I don't feel deprived.  Gotta remember that if you fall, just keep getting up again.  I  have struggIed.  I can't tell you how many last meals I have had.  But I am back on track now.   If we allow one meal to turn into 2, and 2 to turn into 3, and etc. then your allowing food to control us.  But if we allow 1 meal and get back on track, then we are controlling food.

I have actually been thinking about seeing a social worker, counselor, or psychologist throughout my weight loss because I worry I may self-sabotage.  When things are going good that is when I give into temptation, and I don't want myself to think it's okay to let the 1 meal turn into 2, etc.  Alot of people don't think of it that way, but I am starting to think that there is something keeping me from being at my best, why won't I allow myself to be at my best, why do I shoot myself in the foot?

Anyone else have the same thoughts?

Hello I think you are telling my story! We share the same surgery date! I too have gained weight 20 lbs. And i KNOW not to drink liquid calories but seems with this new body I have been alot more social and find myself drinking alcoloh way too often too.. Mostly sugary tropical drinks. But I have really noticed that I can eat ANYTHING and alot of it. I don't really feel my pouch anymore, are you like this? I know my doctor is going to kill me when he sees me next , (i cancelled my April appt. for June to give myself time to HOPEFULLY lose some of it) lol Good luck to you and hope we can both get back on track in our journey to health!!

Hello there!

I just finished the 5 day pouch test and have lost 10 (TEN!) pounds!

I feel in control now after getting the carb monster off my back, and now I am going back to FOLLOWING THE RULES for my pouch. (Protein first, NO DRINKING 30 min before and after eating, good carbs by way of veggies and fruits, and WATER WATER WATER!!!)

It wasn't easy to make this decision, and the first 3 days SUCKED, but I made it through, and not only lost the 10 pounds, but I went out and exercised for the first time in a YEAR!

Hopefully you can do the same!

Thanks all for your posts and encouraging words - we can all do this, we just have to be CLEAN (No bad carbs, sugars, or alcohol) in order to do so. If I can do it, anyone can!!!

 

Diana

 I know this is old, but O too, feel as though you were writing MY story. I had RNY 2004. Initially lost almost 100 pounds. 

I can eat anything, in seemingly endless amounts and don't seem to be able to feel my pouch either. I have been drinking (alcohol), and have nearly ceased exercising. I have gained 55 pounds back. 

I feel disgusting and like a failure. I don't want to go to family functions, out with my husband, etc. It's almost like it was before. :(  

Recently, I started tracking my intake again, and have lost 3 pounds this week. However, I have not met with a surgeon/bariatric Dr. or nutritionist since a month or so after my last check-up and now that I live in a new city, I am LOST as to where to BEGIN to get back on track.

I read about the 5 day pouch test, but was unsure. I think I might give it a try, since you are reporting good results. I am conflicted though. Since I can't really "feel" my pouch, I have stopped living like a bariatric patient. I have lots of questions:
1. How many calories should I be consuming/day? 
2. How many grams of carbs/protein/etc.
3. If I'm not exercising hardcore and am not losing, do I still need tons of protein?
4. I KNOW I've stretched my pouch - what do I do NOW?

I'm looking forward to getting my life and health on track again. I just don't feel like I know HOW.

Just got an email letting me know there were replies to my old thread from last April.

I am an alcoholic - I was fooling myself to think I could control it.
I am on day 102 of sobriety, and am finding it easier now to concentrate on my health and nutrition now that I got that monkey off my back.

There is a lot of theory out there and research to that effect that having gastric bypass surgery can 're-wire' people's systems enough so that they more quickly become alcoholics. We don't have the digestive enzymes to break down the alcohol as effectively anymore - much like the studies that were done that show native Canadians or Americans don't have - and I don't know about south of the border, but alcoholism is RAMPANT in the native population up here.

I have also recently found out I was using alcohol to regulate my insulin and blood sugars - I am Hypoglycemic. And, I had a previous addiction to nicotine in the past. Getting surgery was - for me - a guarantee that I would develop alcoholism. It was just a matter of time, and unfortunately I took that first drink 3 months out.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and gastric bypass puts it into warp speed.

My advice would be to NEVER *NEVER* pick up a drink after surgery. Ever. And if it's too late and you already have, never take another. And if you even THINK you're drinking a 'little too much' stop NOW. You could be one drink away from that slippery slope of alcoholism. I am just glad I stopped before I hit rock bottom. Because with our new system post-surgery, rock bottom could be 6 feet under.

Please take this to heart.

I wish the medical community could really start warning people what could happen regarding alcohol. Simply asking someone if they drank a lot prior to surgery isn't enough. We can lie, or you can tell the truth like I did: "I am a once in a while party binger, or a few drinks with company and nothing for weeks/MONTHS after". But nonetheless, 3 years post-surgery I was a full-blown alcoholic.

Good luck to all of you.

Diana

I am close to 6 mouths out of surgery and it scares me to know how easy it can come back. My biggest fear is that I am aways thirsty. every since the surgery I get cotton mouth alot and I can not eat with out a sip or 2 of water. Water is all I really drink besides my protein. I hope you get thing under control because I can see me being you. It is never easy is it.