Confession of a foodaholic - Secret eating!
Hermit-Crab
on 3/4/10 7:20 am, edited 3/4/10 7:22 am
on 3/4/10 7:20 am, edited 3/4/10 7:22 am
I confess! I have a completely unhealthy relationship with food. I am obsessed with it, the taste - the quick fix. I compulsively eat, i binge, i eat in secrecy.
Over the years i have developed some very strange habits. Does anyone else do this stuff?
1. I hate eating infront of people or in public
2. I hate being seen buying food
3. I will act like i am not hungry if i am in a situation of having to eat around people, then i will hide some place and eat whatever i can.
4. I eat more food than people realise - usually at night when no one is awake, or in my room.
5. If i have something i really enjoy eating sitting in the pantry, like say ... a giant packet of chips, i obsess over it and think about it until i eventually have to not only eat some of it.. but i keep going until there is none left. Even if it is a freakishly large portion!
6. I can't wait until my next meal, i think about it and count down the hours until i can eat again!
7. Sometimes i plan out everything i am going to eat for the day, and i am so excited about it that i end up eating it all in the first half of the day! - Then i eat other food later.
Ahhh the list is endless. I've just started trying to eat healthy and these crazy behaviours of mine are getting in the way big time. I've been eating a tuna sandwich for lunch or dinner, and then i will go and compulsively eat another 4 cans of tuna! I think i have almost given myself mercury poisoning lol
Over the years i have developed some very strange habits. Does anyone else do this stuff?
1. I hate eating infront of people or in public
2. I hate being seen buying food
3. I will act like i am not hungry if i am in a situation of having to eat around people, then i will hide some place and eat whatever i can.
4. I eat more food than people realise - usually at night when no one is awake, or in my room.
5. If i have something i really enjoy eating sitting in the pantry, like say ... a giant packet of chips, i obsess over it and think about it until i eventually have to not only eat some of it.. but i keep going until there is none left. Even if it is a freakishly large portion!
6. I can't wait until my next meal, i think about it and count down the hours until i can eat again!
7. Sometimes i plan out everything i am going to eat for the day, and i am so excited about it that i end up eating it all in the first half of the day! - Then i eat other food later.
Ahhh the list is endless. I've just started trying to eat healthy and these crazy behaviours of mine are getting in the way big time. I've been eating a tuna sandwich for lunch or dinner, and then i will go and compulsively eat another 4 cans of tuna! I think i have almost given myself mercury poisoning lol
If you're going through hell, keep going. 
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
(deactivated member)
on 3/11/10 10:51 am - Miami Lakes, FL
on 3/11/10 10:51 am - Miami Lakes, FL
Hi Hermit-Crab,
I'll confess with you. Don't feel alone. I do that stuff, all the time. At least 5 out of 7 of them on a regular basis. I think these habits are strange in the sense that people you talk to that don't struggle in their relationship with food cannot understand why anyone would do these things. Thats why were here together. I was struggling tonight. The people next door are partying tonight so I decided I would just study tomorrow, and relax and watch tv/surf the net tonight. Along with those activities comes an overwhelming desire to find food, and put the food from my hand to my mouth over and over. I can't tell you when this all started, but today it seems like I've been living this way forever.
::::::hug:::::::: <--- thats all I've got for now.
I'll confess with you. Don't feel alone. I do that stuff, all the time. At least 5 out of 7 of them on a regular basis. I think these habits are strange in the sense that people you talk to that don't struggle in their relationship with food cannot understand why anyone would do these things. Thats why were here together. I was struggling tonight. The people next door are partying tonight so I decided I would just study tomorrow, and relax and watch tv/surf the net tonight. Along with those activities comes an overwhelming desire to find food, and put the food from my hand to my mouth over and over. I can't tell you when this all started, but today it seems like I've been living this way forever.
::::::hug:::::::: <--- thats all I've got for now.
On March 4, 2010 at 3:20 PM Pacific Time, Hermit-Crab wrote:
I confess! I have a completely unhealthy relationship with food. I am obsessed with it, the taste - the quick fix. I compulsively eat, i binge, i eat in secrecy. Over the years i have developed some very strange habits. Does anyone else do this stuff?
1. I hate eating infront of people or in public
2. I hate being seen buying food
3. I will act like i am not hungry if i am in a situation of having to eat around people, then i will hide some place and eat whatever i can.
4. I eat more food than people realise - usually at night when no one is awake, or in my room.
5. If i have something i really enjoy eating sitting in the pantry, like say ... a giant packet of chips, i obsess over it and think about it until i eventually have to not only eat some of it.. but i keep going until there is none left. Even if it is a freakishly large portion!
6. I can't wait until my next meal, i think about it and count down the hours until i can eat again!
7. Sometimes i plan out everything i am going to eat for the day, and i am so excited about it that i end up eating it all in the first half of the day! - Then i eat other food later.
Ahhh the list is endless. I've just started trying to eat healthy and these crazy behaviours of mine are getting in the way big time. I've been eating a tuna sandwich for lunch or dinner, and then i will go and compulsively eat another 4 cans of tuna! I think i have almost given myself mercury poisoning lol
Some people (like me) have a type of OCD that comes out in food issues. I've overcome a lot of it in the last three years but when stress levels are high I still start obsessing over food and during those times I start taking Effexor. It kills my head hunger.
Honestly, I don't see your losing weight with Effexor alone, I have a hunch you'll need WLS to at least obtain restriction. But if you have restriction and deal with the obsession, that might just be the ticket for you.
Some eat from stress, some from boredom, some because they pump out Ghrelin like there is no tomorrow, some obsess over food. Treat the problem and you can deal with the issues.
Here you are hermit crab! I haven't seen you post recently on the exercise forum!
We all have food issues on here. Hence why we are here. I was a late night eater like you. I'd eat three full meals at night!!
I changed that by not staying up late a night anymore. I am forced to eat during the day when I can exercise and then go to bed at a reasonable hour so that I' NOT eating. It takes effort to change the habit, but so worth cutting out eating all night when your body has slowed down in preperation for rest.
I'd encourage you like Midwestern girl advised. Go speak to someone about your issues. Do not suffer alone. Get some help and you can finally face these habits/compulsions and get the life and body that you deserve and will hopefully stop eating yourself to death!
Best wishes and blessing prayers!
*hugs*
We all have food issues on here. Hence why we are here. I was a late night eater like you. I'd eat three full meals at night!!
I changed that by not staying up late a night anymore. I am forced to eat during the day when I can exercise and then go to bed at a reasonable hour so that I' NOT eating. It takes effort to change the habit, but so worth cutting out eating all night when your body has slowed down in preperation for rest.
I'd encourage you like Midwestern girl advised. Go speak to someone about your issues. Do not suffer alone. Get some help and you can finally face these habits/compulsions and get the life and body that you deserve and will hopefully stop eating yourself to death!
Best wishes and blessing prayers!
*hugs*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. ~Michael Jordan
My Goals:
1) 200lbs ACCOMPLISHED
3) 170lbs
4) Run 5K
"Unneeded food is not any less wasted in a body that doesnt need it, than it is in the trash." ~Brandilynn
"Those that will not be governed by God will be ruled by tyrants." ~William Penn
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. ~Michael Jordan
My Goals:
1) 200lbs ACCOMPLISHED
3) 170lbs
4) Run 5K
"Unneeded food is not any less wasted in a body that doesnt need it, than it is in the trash." ~Brandilynn
"Those that will not be governed by God will be ruled by tyrants." ~William Penn
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Sending you a big virtual HUG.
Please find someone to talk to about this. Ask your family doctor or your WLS doctor to recommend a counselor that deals with food and weight issues.
I laughed at your joke about mercury poisoning, but I can feel the pain in your words.
Thinking of you and wishing you the best.
Hugs
Deb
Please find someone to talk to about this. Ask your family doctor or your WLS doctor to recommend a counselor that deals with food and weight issues.
I laughed at your joke about mercury poisoning, but I can feel the pain in your words.
Thinking of you and wishing you the best.
Hugs
Deb
Everything happens for a reason.
HW 252
I can definitely identify with alot that your confessing. especially the not wanting to eat in public, the pretending that I am not hungry when other people are eating something and offer me. and mostly the sneaking to eat. Like if my husband goes to the bathroom or whatever that gives me a moment to eat something, there I go. It is embarrassing and I am disgusted with myself. I'm hoping these terrile habbits will change after my surgery.
I used to hide food...... in bags, under the couch, in my desk. I would even eat in the bathroom. I once smuggled donuts in the bathroom at work years ago. I bit into a jelly donut and the jelly shot out the other side and landed in my panties!!!! UGH! I used to buy food from several places to bring home and make it look like I was buying for several people. Once when I was away on vacation, I got room service and set up the room to look like there were two people staying there so I wouldn't look like I was eating all the food I ordered by myself. About 20 years ago, I was working in a doctor's office, and one of my duties was developing x-rays. Our kitchen also doubled as "developing area". There were donuts in there, so I went in there, locked the door and stuffed donuts in my mouth...... and the doctor knocked on the door and said he had to come in and get something!!! There I am, with my mouth stuffed so much that I could hardly speak. I don't even remember how I got out of it.
I used to eat an entire pound of pasta by myself!
Finally, about a year or two before I had RNY, I started eating out in the open. I just didn't care anymore.
I had RNY almost 11 months ago. I am SO glad that I cannot overeat anymore. But I still have "food fantasies".
I used to eat an entire pound of pasta by myself!
Finally, about a year or two before I had RNY, I started eating out in the open. I just didn't care anymore.
I had RNY almost 11 months ago. I am SO glad that I cannot overeat anymore. But I still have "food fantasies".
Michelle 
(OH member since 2004 - new user name)
HW 285 / SW 270 / GW 140 / LW 135 / CW 185
RNY 6/8/2009 
Starting size 26/28, now size 12/14
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." -Hebrews 13:8
Hermit-Crab
on 5/12/10 10:35 am
on 5/12/10 10:35 am
Thank you everyone!
It's so hard. You know people who don't get this, tell me i am weak, have no willpower. I just have to get over my emotional eating. Yadda yadda. It's not that easy!
Other things i do :
As soon as i am alone in the house, i run to the fridge and eat the food i have been dreaming about. Literally as i hear the car pulling away, i start to eat.
A couple of times i have had close calls where i have to chuck what i am eating in a cupboard because someone has walked in, and i didn't want them to catch me.
When i am around people who are intoxicated, i take that as my opportunity to binge on food, and then i tell them that they were the ones who ate it. (They can't remember).
I pretend i am getting a drink or something from the fridge, while i quickly stuff a piece of food in my mouth.
I order food online, and hide it in my room. Then i hide the containers they come in. I spray my room with odor removers to take away the food smell, so no one will know i have been eating.
When i am alone in the house, i order food... i leave the money for the delivery guy to find, and a note to leave my food on the step. Because I'm too ashamed to go to the door. I order enough food for several people, when i ring up to order i pretend it's for more than one person.
:( shameful
It's so hard. You know people who don't get this, tell me i am weak, have no willpower. I just have to get over my emotional eating. Yadda yadda. It's not that easy!
Other things i do :
As soon as i am alone in the house, i run to the fridge and eat the food i have been dreaming about. Literally as i hear the car pulling away, i start to eat.
A couple of times i have had close calls where i have to chuck what i am eating in a cupboard because someone has walked in, and i didn't want them to catch me.
When i am around people who are intoxicated, i take that as my opportunity to binge on food, and then i tell them that they were the ones who ate it. (They can't remember).
I pretend i am getting a drink or something from the fridge, while i quickly stuff a piece of food in my mouth.
I order food online, and hide it in my room. Then i hide the containers they come in. I spray my room with odor removers to take away the food smell, so no one will know i have been eating.
When i am alone in the house, i order food... i leave the money for the delivery guy to find, and a note to leave my food on the step. Because I'm too ashamed to go to the door. I order enough food for several people, when i ring up to order i pretend it's for more than one person.
:( shameful
If you're going through hell, keep going.
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
BTDT. Overeater's Anonymous was helpful for me to start my healing process. It helped reduce some of the shame. WLS has been the most helpful in actually losing the weight. It's an addiction, pure and simple. No different than alcohol or cocaine. You are doing what every addict does. Alcoholics hide their alcohol in the garage or the toilet or in drawers. We hide our food. No different. Treat it like the addiction it is. If you have insurance to cover therapy, that can be helpful, but OA is really the most helpful, and it's free. Find a meeting near you and go. Get a sponsor; work the steps. And consider WLS if you can afford it. It changes your body chemistry.
5. If i have something i really enjoy eating sitting in the pantry, like say ... a giant packet of chips, i obsess over it and think about it until i eventually have to not only eat some of it.. but i keep going until there is none left. Even if it is a freakishly large portion!
6. I can't wait until my next meal, i think about it and count down the hours until i can eat again!
7. Sometimes i plan out everything i am going to eat for the day, and i am so excited about it that i end up eating it all in the first half of the day! - Then i eat other food later.
Those 3 describe me to a T!!!! I won't get out of bed until I remember that I have reeses puffs in my cupboard...
or I get excited when I think about getting coffee before work....
I should find an overeaters ann around here!
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