Nervous Husband Watching What Wifey Eats

Hello,

This is Nervous Husband, new to the OH forums but hoping I will find a lot of great information from all you veterans.  ;-)

Wifey is a year past her WLS, and she is a very sharp lady.  She studied hard for a year in advance and she was brave going in (and I was even braver in the weeks and months to follow).  But over time she has seen great results with few bumps and has had a sturdy support group. 

Now that we are a year out, I have few worries but I still get stuck on the types of foods I see her eating sometimes.  True, she eats far less than she ever did before (by the body's demand, of course) but sometimes I question what she eats, and because she did all the pre-research while I studied up on moral support, she is occasionally a bit sharp with me when I raise these questions.  Sometimes she even agrees that she's eating something that's not very helpful...but does so anyway.

She has not had any problems of late, and she has been months from her last puking session or trip to the hospital.  I know this is good but I still worry...hence the name.  :-)

So for today, I want to throw a few foods out there and get the WLS Intelligencia to offer their feedback on how these could be beneficial or harmful, and if I should worry too much considering the small portions she's eating in the first place.  Well, in some cases*.

Cupcakes (everyone needs a treat, or so I'm told)
*Coffee (both decaf and regular)
Starbucks products (teas, lattes)
Chips (corn, as found in nachos)
Nuts (almonds, cashews, peanuts)
Chocolate
Guacamole
Berries
Wine
Liquor
(and yes, I am familiar with this concept called "dumping", thanks...high sugar or fat are her big triggers)

Thank you all for your input,
NH

NH,
I had LapRNY 7/08. I did lots of research and actually I still do. A few questions for you.
Does your wife have a counselor ?
Does she attend a monthly support group?
Does she keep up on tests and Dr. appointments?
I try to always remember PROTEIN first and then veggies and fruit. As for your list, everyone is different but I think that most would agree that the chips and cupcakes are of no nutritional value. As for a treat...if it is more than once a week I would say it is more than a treat.  Sometimes we need that "check-up from the neck up" to get our head in the right frame of mind.
For me if something makes me dump once and it is not something I know I should have, I try to remember that feeling the next time I want it. It sounds like she has been through quite a bit in the past after WLS and I have read that sometimes the anger of not having smooth sailing gets in the way of the recovery.

Cupcakes (everyone needs a treat, or so I'm told) I do not think I could handle one bite
*Coffee (both decaf and regular) I drink decaf but not often-I know lots of WLS people who do
Starbucks products (teas, lattes) I know lots of WLS people who do
Chips (corn, as found in nachos) I can handle a  few but I always try to remember that there is no nutritional benefit
Nuts (almonds, cashews, peanuts) I do eat these, especially the almonds, the protein is good- cashews are really high in fat I have found that dry roasted peanuts are good as long as I measure them out.
Chocolate I sometimes do sugar free
Guacamole never have had even before WLS
Berries strawberries not often
Wine Have not had
Liquor Have not had

I hope this helps and I think it is wonderful that you are so supportive of your wife and how you have made it a joint journey!
Shelly

Stop trying to control her. She is an adult and she needs to make her own choices.

You are being "a food police".  Just enjoy her company.  She needs to be able to make her own choice.  Good or bad - it is her life, the only thing you can do - it is to love her just the way she is. 

Stop judging food as "good" or "bad".

It is a struggle every day for all of us, and we are not perfect.  She is neither. be proud of her how far she come.  You trying to "help" her, if she does not want your help - may have just the opposite effect. 
Relax, get a coffee, watch a movie, take her for a nice walk, tell her she looks beautiful, tell her how you admire her strong will and dedication she showed while losing weight.  It may  motivate her to do better.

Nervous husband- I couldn't disagree more with the previous poster about you trying to "control her."  You are not being the food police.  You are being a concerned husband.  I had WLS 4 weeks ago and I wish MY wife was as supportive as you seem to be of yours.  I eat VERY well right now, but I'm very concerned about slipping into old habits.  I wish I had someone who worried about it too.  It definately sounds TO ME as if that's what she's doing.  She's eating foods she has no business eating.

You need to find a caring, loving and SUPPORTIVE way to get her back on track.  Not sure how to do that, but I admire you for trying.