Is this MB active?

Hi, Everyone! Just wondering what happened to this board's activity. Seems that it been asleep for a while now. The members were reaching out about how hard it is to deal with the real challenges of eating and / or not eating. Binge or starvation... Doesn't it seem related, brain-wise. We are all intellegent people, who have passed psychological reviews and had WLS. The doctors assume that eating issues will continue after the surgery, as we are human. Personally, I have had a hard time just opening-up. Now the board has gone silent! Take away one time overeating or add one additional food without purging and that's success, my friends! Each time we are able to rethink or refocus about our food issue, we've worked on regaining the balance that we crave in our lives. Being in "control" or doing something "perfect" isn't an option for me. I mess-up all the time...it's part of who I am...and I still love myself, but this has taken a long time to dawn on me. Part of my problems include not realizing how big I was pre-op, which is why I am less impressed by my loss. I didn't see myself having a problem, until I began to get ill and immobilized. My current is problem is that I am afraid of regaining so I weigh every food and lessen the amount if "too high" as per my daily Sparkpeople journal. The biggest problem right now is that I still dislike pictures of myself...big, medium, small...I avoid them all. If you are there, which I suspect that you are, then respond to my issues first and when you are ready to talk about your issues, we can do that too. It would also be nice if some of our comment share more about daily lives, as we are not just the people with "Hunger and Food Troubles". That is so limiting! Where's the personality that got us this far in life? Hey, I'm damaged! Oh...I've been found-out! So What! Meet me half way so that we can all enjoy this forum, laugh, and help eachother. Ready to share? Ro

Hi Ro - Yes, you are right. This forum has gone quiet, although I know there are a lot out there who need the help and support. Unfortunatly many of them are not quite ready to take the steps needed to get well. I know that you already know that I have had my struggles. I am however doing a lot better. It is not easy, but it is not impossible either. I do not eat as many cal as our friends on the dec board do, but the amount I do eat is acceptable to my nurse. I have 600 cal a day. Borderline, but acceptable. I will write more later...my toddlers are about ready to kill each other I think it is nite-nite time!!! ~ Terisa

Hi, Terisa...Glad that you responded. 600 is great; I'm around 750-800 now. I did "up" my numbers for a week or two and felt stuffed. My Nuts office is fine with around the 800 number, as I'm not that hungry and still losing at a nice, but slower rate. I am a little nervous telling my Nut next week about the food weighing so it must be an "issue". Being afraid of regaining is somehow connected to the picture problem, but I'm not sure how exactly. It's like I've seen myself at so many different weights that I am afraid that this time will also be "temporary"; eventhough I know that my new digestive track gives me excellent odds against that happening again. I have been looking for a support group in NJ, but most are pretty far away, one changed to an "overeaters anonymous" and the other meets at Panera's. I have thought about going to the Panera group, but had a bad experience years ago when my Weigh****cher buddies started eating loaded bagels and muffins after weigh-in. If I only had a diet soda, I'd have to hear it the whole time. At 50, I would feel fine telling them to "zip it", but back then I stopped attending WW. BTW...So glad about your weekend! Looking forward to your update. Thanks for responding. Ro

Hi Ro, I think you are right about these problems being related. It doesn't help any of us with our body image problems when people around us tell us that we never looked like we needed surgery in the first place. I know they are just being polite but it sort of reinforces that body confusion, don't you think? It has been hard for me to keep up with so much now that school is back in session...i've got one son at home (13) and one daughter in college, my job begins before the crack of dawn and my husband is still waiting for his seasonal job to begin again in December. He's working on the house and expecting me to run everything same as usual plus help him with projects. Add in the time that I spend here for me and I'm always pushing it time-wise at the end of the day. But the message boards here (there are 5 others I try to participate in) are so very important to me that I have made the decision to let other things in life go to make time for this. Why go to the bother of fighting for wls and then not do everything possible to ensure success? About the only thing I have trouble working in is additional exercise. The hours and my job duties make me so tired at the end of the day that the last thing I want to do is sweat more. LOL I'm impressed at how well you've been able to hold your calories at a certain level. Now at maintenance I'm supposed to eat 1000-1200 a day and it is hard to keep it there and especially hard to keep the carbs in line. They are my weakness and a huge reason for me to stay with sparkpeople.com. If i don't journal my food there then the carb levels sneak way up so easy. Today has been a surprisingly good day and I even need to eat a little extra to bring my proteins up. Woohoo! Molly

WARNING: THIS IS ONE LONG A$$ED REPLY. DON'T ATTEMPT TO READ, IF TIRED! Hi, Molly... OK, Let's add another "issue" to my list. Only about 4 people have commented on my weight loss...Believe it or not! For the other members on this board, let me update that I weighed over 332 Lbs and I've lost almost 1/2 of my "body"...at about 165 (commando) so it seems unreal to me that no one notices. I'm a private person and have opened up a lot on OH. But I'm not so private that I would not love for someone to notice that I finally look healthy. So I thought that I was the one who did not realize how obese I was until I became ill. My son says that people just feel uncomfortable mentioning weight loss to people who were overweight (Isn't he sweet. Hopefully, some day soon I'll just be overweight on the BMI) I was really run down, severe apnea, high BP, swelling, etc. My husband thinks that people don't realize that I had an RNY so they don't say anything. To me this could mean that they think that I had a real, big, sudden weight loss...such as a result of cancer. I have been close to cancer patients and have heard from them that many times people shy away from them. Enough B*tching! So, on a more pleasant note, you must feel like Wonderwoman this year compared to last year at this time. Could you imagine doing all of the things that you're undertaking with the low energy level that comes with the extra weight? I love my RNY! (Ditto on the lack of exercise lately, but I hear that you get quite a work-out from your current schedule; that counts big time) As for the calorie level, it's the weighing and limiting my carbs to my "beloved" yams, whole wheat wraps (Wrap-itz is the fav) , whole wheat pitas, brown rice, and a variety of canned beans with a little salad dressing. Occasionally, I will eat a Fudgesicle, popcorn, and soy / rice crisps. I eat 1/4 to 1/2 of the stated "serving size", depending on the amount of calories, as RNY patients don't require the full serving. I finally brought Bear Naked granola back in the house, but weigh it now; just 1/2 oz. I like weighing it as I am not spacial and the idea that 1/4 cup could equal a 1 oz serving does not seem possible to me. Actually, I am going to do a comparison between the 1/4 cup and scale to find out if it is the same amount. Really not spacial and have memory loss too."Oh, bother! Pooh!" Sparkpeople help me make the best choices for dinner based on what I've eaten up to that time. I also am really big on taking a weekly average because the "damage" is almost always less than I think for the entire week. Less anxiety! Recently, I had several high 800-900 days so I backed off on the calories; down to the 700 range so that I could adjust my eating. I wasn't hungry and still lost weight. Now I'm back in the 750-800 range and feel full hours after eating. BTW, if my protein is low I drink 1/2 oz of Prostat-64 (butter pecan only), which is only 30 calories and 7.5 proteins. Plus I increased my water from 48 oz to around 64 oz. But that's another matter...for another day...I'm beat...and off to bed. What I really want to know is... What do I tell the Nut about the weighing? Is this so bad? Molly, I know that you mentioned earlier that it is done by a lot of successful WLS patients. I'd rather see it as a "big plus" than a "secret". Thank you for helping me! Ro

Ooh, that Bearnaked is not allowed back in my house! Too many calories and even though I measure them out and package them for individual servings it makes me spend too many calories on carbs. How do you do your weekly average? Just with a calculator? I looked in my Sparkpeople page and couldn't find where to make it do an average for me. Perhaps I'm just being CI. Definitely tell the nut. about the weighing. I think she/he will be pleased! It should really be a big plus and not a secret or anything to be ashamed of, I hope you will get good support on that. About your comment that people haven't noticed your weight loss...I want to come kick some butts for you! My only guess is that the people around you who know you are a very private person may not feel comfortable commenting on your weight for fear of insulting you. To tell someone how great they look now after weightloss immediately makes the unspoken comment that we looked awful before and like beached whales or something. There have been times in the past 9 months when I have gotten a little tired of being told how 'great' I look. It really seems false to me. Sorry, I am rambling again...got to get rid of this migraine! Molly

Hi, Molly! The Bear Naked granola is already "calling" me! The 1/4 c is 1 oz on my digital, but you're right too high to fit into the cal / carb totals we consider goal range. I take a 4 day average so that I can adjust up or down on the calories / proteins. By the end of the week, I'm usually pretty pleased with the numbers. The weekly averages are then written down and will be shown to my Nutritionist. Next appointment is 10/9. Thanks for the vote of confidence on the weighing. Peace of mind is great! OK. Come kick some Butt! No really, they just don't get it. I live in a small community in NJ, which at times can be like Peyton Place. Part of my being private comes from basic survival from the clics that exist here. I love where I live, but it'd be nice if people were more sensitive. Obese people KNOW how much of a struggle life can be and really don't need to endure comments. Feel Better! Ro

DUH! I forgot to answer your question. You're right. SparkPeople does not take an average so get out the calculator. Have a good night. Ro

Hi Ro! WEll, I FOUND IT! lol.. Just trying to catch up and follow where you are at. I'm really trying to get the jist of all that is going on. Let me see...so how far our from surgery are you? You've lost quite a bit and I might add CONGRATULATIONS are in order for a JOB WELL DONE!! Seems like you must be at least a year out and personally i'm shocked to see the little amount of calories both of you are eating...man..I'd be STARVED all the time! lol.. sorry! I am almost 4 years out....right now i'm eating 1200+ calories a day and am losing weight again! YAHOO! I'd like to take 20-30 off. Now the only difference I see is that I do exercise almost every day! I walk several miles a day at a pretty good pace but only fit in what I can depending on the day and whats going on (like most of us). So one day it might only be 1.5-2 miles..another it might be 4 and so on....I HAVE to do this....I just HALF TOO! It keeps me healthy AND SANE! I also do some strength training when I can fit it in as well..today I stood by my desk and used the resistance bands...hey it works! lol.. I can also understand about being scared to put on weight....but are you going to measure everything for the rest of your life? I'm sorry..but I refuse to do that! I'm not trying to put you down for what works for you..its' just that I feel that I have been held captive with my weight for years...i'm NOT going to live that way the rest of my life! I'm JUST NOT! The secret for me..is this...I eat well balanced nutritional meals 3 times daily and two snacks. I exercise daily for at LEAST 30 minutes, I drink at least 64oz of water and I watch my portion control. Most importantly I WEIGH EVERY WEEK so that I know where I stand....if i'm up a bit..I watch it the next day or the next week etc...I have maintained my weight for the last 3 years and let me tell you...I struggled for EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY POUND since the day I had surgery!! I had to work HARD to get that weight off....!! Id didnt drop off me like alot of people I know! THat first year I think I drove myself crazy....high protien, no carb, extra protien, low carb, supplements because I was training hard...it was crazy! I finally had to LET GO of the craziness and LIVE! Well, i'm not sure where Im going with this post...I dont want to minimize your awesome efforts as to what works for you...but I hear the fear in your words and you shouldnt have to live like that! Are you by any chance seeking counseling? I know that having lots of counseling prior to weightloss surgery HELPED ME ALOT! I have also gone after surgery when I felt I needed it. FOr me...I lost the weight..then 15 months after surgery I had to have emergency BACK surgery and there went my awesome workout! I have slowly worked myself back up to where I am today...and this year alone had 2 rounds of plastic surgery (2 procedures each time) that i've recovered with..its been tuff at times...but I just keep plugging along! I guess I want to say that i'm very proud of the committment that you have made as well as the other poster...but wouldnt it be nice to just LIVE rather than be so scared to eat? That worries me. But who am I? I dont know about your life and/or what all your issues are...I just know that we ALL HAVE THEM right? Or we wouldnt have become obese in the first place! I just hope that as time goes on....you can relax a little more and of course...not knowing how far out from surgery you are makes a difference as well. I hope to see you around...and i'll try to pop in...too! Hugs, from CALIF! Julie

Hi, Julie! Thanks for the Congratulations... It means a lot to me! I don't intend to be haunted by the food scale forever, but I am hooked now. It's great to hear about how you've sustained your weight loss and about the struggle that you've gone through over the years. I needed to hear that it is going to be OK. More therapy is in my future, if I don't get a handle on this now. It may be anyway! I am going for my 10 month Nut appointment on 10/9 and weighed 163.5 # commando at 5' 1.5". Thanks again, Kiddo! Hope to see you around too. Ro