Made to feel like C*AP

I went to my support group meeting Tuesday at the hospital... I told my program cordinator what I was going through and she said "IT DIDN'T SURPRISE HER" (she too had WLS) anyway... She didn't offer any help except to tell me that I need to see a therapist... Hell I already knew that part !! Anyway when I told her she should add this problem to our support group meetings since I know I can't be the only one... her response is " We talk about this in Pre-op classes, but you turned a deaf ear too it" .... I told my hubby, I would just deal with this problem on my own, and I will NOT return to the support group since the damn support group isn't about support... they only go over things like what is supposed to be eatten... this month is was Veggies... So so much for being supportive by my support group... *still feeling so lost* Stephie

Stephie, I am so sorry you did not receive the kind of response that you should have. You did not "turn a deaf ear to it", but it is something we do because of fear and the inability to see our bodies as they are now. I am just shocked that she would not even consider discussing it. That is what the support group is for. Not just what about different things that you are supposed to eat, but discussing all of the issues that comes along with post op and weight loss. It is not necessarily an easy road. Yes, you do need to see a therapist, but at the same time you need that support from your support group. You need to know that you are not alone and that you can share your fears, concerns, and hopes with others who are experiencing the same thing. I would never close the door to a concern in one of my support groups. Not sure that this woman should be leading it. In the support group that I brought this up in they of course had an agenda. They had a speaker and all that. Who cares. Sometimes people just want to talk and share their experiences. I took the group in a whole different direction that night and it was a great success. Our nurse in charge of the program received several calls the next day with people telling her how much they enjoyed the group the night before and appreciated me speaking so openly and honestly about my issue. They told her that they want to do that more often. People have things to say and things they want to discuss in a group of those who are similiar. She is the one who turned a deaf ear, not you. If she had been more open imagine how many she could have helped. I don't know if there is another support group in your area, but you have to keep trying. You can beat this and be healthy and you can live. You must find the right road and never give up. I know you say you will deal with this on your own and that is possible, but how has it been working for you so far? Just keep trying ok. There is someone out there who will listen and someone out there who needs you to share your experiences. Eat well today and be healthy. Peace and blessings. ~ Terisa

Well I tried to PM you and I was unable to do so.. said your profile doesn't exist??? So I hate to put this out here but this is what I was going to PM you.. Hi Stephanie! I am glad you keep replying.. however each day is minute in the amounts you eat or if you do eat back up it comes. You realize you won't survive on this. I am a nurse and I can tell you I am not a nurse that beats around the bush with my patients at all.. I tell em like it is. You won't live my dear if you continue this way much longer. Is this what you want? I know you are afraid and I am not hear to hurt you or harm you and want you to continue to post your eats and come here to get the support you need. But you will die on this caloric intake, as we speak I imagine your body is robbing its protein from your heart and muscles and its only a matter of time. I know you probably already realize this and know it isn't what you want but can't stop it, I am right? I know you said your family gives you terrible feedback and this in turn makes you eat too little and purge what you do eat. Do they know that you hurting yourself to a point of a chronic irreversible illness or even just as likely death? I think you need to make changes my dear soon or you will not be with us much longer. I hate to be so blunt but it is my way, I don't fluff anything. I hope you get the help you need or can at least see in your heart the changes that need to be made soon. I am praying for you.. this is not matter to be taken lightly.. your life direction will be changing soon without intervention I am afraid. I know you admit to needing to see a therapist but hunny its the truth and you are at a point with your weight loss and health that if you don't seek some type of medical attention you will end up on TPN in the hospital (feedings via IV) or on a g-tube (a tube they push feedings into your stomach with) Please get the help you need, we all want to see you succeed and be here for the long haul. Hope you don't mind me posting this out here like this, didn't know how else to talk to you. I am praying for you and hoping God gives you the courage and strength to make the necessary changes you **need** to make very very soon. *hugs*

HI Stephie, I know how you feel. I have been battling my own demons with little help too. I have incredibile guilt when I do eat; and some choice I make aren't the healthier ones. We are the type of people it sounds like that are quick to internalize things; and then that turns into self destruction! Yes, I too think you could benefit from counseling and I know I am going to be looking into it soon as well. I will be praying for you.. I ask you really take a hard look of who is at the wheel in your life? Why, we let others and other things do this to us I don't understand YET? Take your life, health; and happiness back girlfriend! You do have support here at OH. Sorry you are going through so much.. Hugs, Judy R

stephie; i haven't followed your story and i lurk here but i wanted to say that we are here for you- many support group leaders do not have the knowledge to properly address issues like you (we) are facing. and many simply shouldn't BE support group leaders ! perhaps there is another group nearby? meantime-please do seek therapy and know that we are here.you have come too far! hugs from ohio

Hi, Stephie! So what happened since your horrible night at "support group"? I do not belong to a group, but probably should. Your's sounds like the Weigh****cher's meetings that I used to attend about 15 years ago. I don't have a local support group and the informally run one a few towns over meets at an eatery. The people sound like they have a great time, but I would probably eat less after being around that environment. I get queezy jus****ching people stuff themselves. I know, weird. I have met a few RNYs in my area, but all they do is tell me how to "cheat"; like how they finally we're able to eat pizza, etc. Do you have a better group in your area? You didn't deserve to be talked to like that, boy...that **** s me off! P.S. Glad I found you! Are you still lost? Hope not! Ro

Hi! Love to have you back on the board! It's a bit LONELY here without you! Ro

Hi Stephie ? I don't go to support thay are all the same. Don't feel lost.( support your self) and find your answer on the internet and other groups. Obesity Help. You will have to search for the right broad. And get support. Don't give up you will get your answer. Obesity Help is one of the best web-sites that I ever used.