Wanting to start a new forum dealing with ED's

Hello Everyone I came here looking for a place to share with people like myself whom are having problems with eating disorders. everything from binge eating to not eating. I would like to start by saying I am nearly 3 yrs post op and at this point in time I have taken my wls to the other extreme. I know now I have a problem and have come looking for support and help from others. a place where we can compare meal plans add up calories and protein counts a place where we can give support as well as recieve it without being flamed or personally attacked by people who do not understand that there is a time and a place for tough love but this might not be it. I don't know about anyone else but the only thing I got out of tough love is pushed back into a deeper depression which caused me to turn back to the binging sad person i once was turning to food for comfort instead of learning to deal with the problem I had. When i was younger I would get so depressed thinking ok everyone thinks I'm some kind of fat freak who cares anyway I might just as well eat. And I did I was only hurting myself deep down I knew this But I didn't have the help I needed to stop it either. Now with the help of wls surgery I have lost over 278 pounds I am 5'8" tall 44 yrs of age and as of this morning weighing in at 122 pounds. but instead of turning to food now for comfort I've become obessed about NOT eating. I find every excuse there is not to put that food in my mouth. I worry so much about gaining a pound I skip meals I guzzle gallons of water to keep myself full all day long. Or when I do get hungry I will eat to fast as I am starving I cause my self to throw up on average of about 12 times a week or more. Sorry for being so graphic but I am being honest here and laying it out on the line. I know I am not the only one out there having these problems. Also there are others who are dealing with the other end of the spectrum. I would like to open up to everyone who has been struggling with issues with eating and see if we can't help one another. Do you think we could do this here?? Thank you for listening Dawn

Dawn, I'm with ya on this one...I, too, have had issues with eating since surgery. I would just do my protein supplements(not much food) for the most part...If I ate food, I'd feel guilty, then get sick to get it out...now, I do have problems with dense meats, but I'm not really counting that in all this since that's just one of those things. I had to stand back and really, really look hard at myself. My body NEEDS the food and calories for energy. I don't have to feel guilty for eating....ok, if I ate a whole pkg of cookies or a pint of ice cream I would...but then again I'd be sick as a dog, laying in bed moaning :P Anyway..I think it would be a great idea! Dede

Hey Sweetie I think this will work over here dont you? I see alot of posts that are along similar lines and I think it would benifit others here. Btw I've missed chatting with you. Dawn

Yeah.. a place to talk. I am right there with you Dawn as you know by my pm to you. I am only 15 months out but working my way there as we speak. I am 5'5 and weigh 120. According to the BMI I can still loose a few more pounds but my body really is starting to rebel. I refuse to gain weight and will strave myself just so I dont. No one out there seems to understand the other side of this journey. I had no problem loosing weight. i've done that a million times and gained it back.. I am scared to death to maintenance. I dont know how and in truth, I dont want to.. i want to keep loosing so I fight with myself as to what to do. I get most of my calories in by way of protein shakes, bars and balls. I only eat small amounts of real food and excercise more than 20 hours a week to make sure I keep loosing.. My family and doctor are worried about me so I now hide what I do to keep from letting them know I am still trying to loose. I will eat than throw up so I can get it out so they think I am eating. I do that at least 6 times a week. I am seeking counseling right now so I am at least aware I have a problem and I am trying to deal with it. This is a tough place.. I am glad we have some people here we can share this with. I see how tall you are.. and you do not need to loose weight. do you still see the fat person in the mirror when you look. Another thing I do now is I think ppl who I thought were tiny before.. i think they are over weight. I was trying to adjust my mind to thin and ended up making the rest of the world fat just so I could keep loosing. I hope we can all get together and find ways to help eachother through this.

HI Carla You and I are in the same boat. I to have been so worried I will gain a pound that I have chosen to avoid food at all cost which is not a healthy attitude to maintain. My PCP and my WLS doctor and nutrishionist has been on my back for the last 5 months about my eating habits. Or lack there of. I have to journal everything to prove to them that yes I am eating something. Then they pick it apart the good an the bad to help me see where or what I can improve upon. Sometimes this is helpful but other times I feel like a child being scolded for not eating my veggies or cleaning my plate which got me where I started in the first place. But I have to deal with this in a more modified approach. Where as turning to food for comfort I know I now need to use food for fuel. And starving myself is depriving myself of energy that I need right now. There are points during the day it feels as if someone has turned the power switch to off and i just need to lay down I am so wiped out I can not take another step without a power nap and I have never been the kind of person who did that. Then I feel guilty for taking that hour or half hour nap and I push into overdrive and push myself to get things done. The answer to your question about still seeing my self as fat in the mirror is a huge yes. I'm not sure if that will ever go away but every now an then I do get a glimps of the tiny person I have become and she scares me. She's a pale thing with deep set eyes that are dark with sunken cheeks and sharp cheekbones. She doesnt look healthy anymore because well I'm not. I am anemic severely malnurished and weak. So now its time to get the body healthy and make the mind more healthy as well. The counselor I am talking to has told me that talking to others who are going through this will help alot however they don't have a support group in place at this time in this area for me to go to. This is why I thought with so many of us here on OH we could all benefit alittle from each other the why did we eat this or why didn't we eat that kind of thing? And the why do we feel fat? When we're not anymore. It's like the body has lost the fat but the mind hasnt. it still weighs in at almost 400 pounds. And its hard to make it see that isnt the case anymore. I'm glad we have OH so we can share stories like this. I think it will help alot of people through alot of hard times or even stop bad behaviors. Such as making our selves sick or starving ourselves. Talk to you soon Dawn

Wow Dawn, Talk about hitting the nail on the head: THANK YOU! We all have an eating issue or we would not have had to have WLS! My new issue is I am 7 months post RNY, and ow my hunger is coming back. I have lost over 90 lbs since Dec 06; but I have been at a stand still for a while now. I am and discouraged! I am about 45 lbs from goal. How can I restart my WL?? I think maybe I am eating to many carbs and not enough protein? I can't really get down a lot of any liquid, even water? I wish my Dr would have bypassed more? I don't feel like I am exessively eating either; and always try to eat healthy! I would gladly take any suggestions. Also been dealing with vitamin deficencies; espically B-1! Had to give myself shots.. Any encouragement or advise appreciated! Thanks, Judy R

Hi Judy Your 7 months out and doing great. The closer you get to goal the slower the weight loss becomes this is all apart of the natural process. 90 pounds in 7 months is wonderful I know your impatient as we all get at this point. I use www.fitday.com to chart my meals and figure out if i am coming close to my daily needs in protein fats an good carbs. I will tell you I have a serious problem with meats the biggest source of protein our bodies need so I do supliment as much as I can. remember the bare minimum is 64 oz's per day I'm lucky if I get 40 somedays but I am working hard to get it back up there. take your body weight divide that in half those are the ounces of water your body needs right now daily to keep flushing fat. This I learned from my nutritionist whom I respect greatly. I would not of gotten this far without her advice or guidance. I am dealing with a dangerous eating disorder as I have lost over 100% of my weight from wls. and am now roughly 20 pounds under where I should be I want plastics but I am told I need to gain weight now in order to have it done. as I would be very close to 100 pounds once they removed the skin. I weigh in at 120 pounds right now and I have roughly 15-25 pounds of extra skin. So they said gain 15 pounds and they would approve me if my iron levels even out. Dawn