HELP...Emotional Crisis!!

I need some major support!! I'm soon to move back to my home to work where I had my surgery. About 6 months after surgery, we moved and haven't been back. I've sent occassional pictures to friends but haven't seen anyone since. Feelings of anxiety, rejections, frustration at facing co-workers and the 2-year surgical check-up are rearing their ugly head and I'm finding myself falling back to those old, comforting ways of dealing with these emotions....eating (and not the foods we are supposed to!) Exercise & water intake has also become rare and insufficient. I'm struggling with feelings because I don't look the way I feel I should being almost 2 years out...I've gained about 10lbs in the last few weeks...so it's time for the whip and chains to get back on track!! I'm a strong woman but sometimes these emotions come out of nowhere and knock you flat. It took me a week just to figure out what was going on with my head and start straightening myself out but just because I know what I'm feeling know doesn't make them go away!! What makes them go away??? Any ideas?? Please help!!

We all have difficulties along our road to recovery. Remember that the pouch is only a tool. As such, it provides help at your regularly scheduled meals: you simply can't eat as much nor as fast as you did prior to surgery. However, the surgery has no affect on emotional eating, grazing, and other inappropriate eating. I just visited my parents and forgot that my Mom serves dessert at every meal except breakfast. I had to decline it. I had a problem with grazing between meals prior to and after my surgeries ( I needed a revision due to a staple line disruption). And, that problem didn't go away until a couple weeks ago. It's something I worked on all of the time and prayed about every day for years. Suddenly, God just took that problem away. I didn't do anything different than I had been doing for years and poof, my problems were gone. Well, I did have one major change in my life; my shrink changed my antidepressants and they seemed to start having a positive influence on me within the last month. So, seek out help. You may want to go to an OA meeting for their support; you needn't be a 12 stepper to find some help there. And, ask your doctor to see if there is a med you can take that could help control your emotions. You may have a mental problem or you may be experiencing a physical change that can be diagnosed by blood work. It's worth checking out all of the possibilities. And, try not to be too hard on yourself. You don't have to control the universe and especially, you can let go emotionally of controlling your life through what you eat. That is, you can overcome emotionally eating if you will let other people and god to help you.

You are soooo right...I need a meeting (and some major prayer). I've never had problems with depression. I work 12-hr night shift and when I don't get enough sleep, sometimes my emotional eating kicks in. Once I get some good, quality sleep, it makes a ton of difference. I got up and did 45-min walking today and flooded myself with water, had my vitamins and protein shake...AND...did well with my eating...FEELING TONS BETTER!! After venting last night on the forum and reading others with the same issues, I felt a little better...but you are right...a support group would do wonders. I'll seek one out next week (after the move) Thanks for your words Good Luck to you too

Hi Cindy!! I wish I had infinite words of wisdom for you or a concrete answer to your question, but the only thing I do know is that recognition of WHAT is triggering our emotions is more than half the battle - then deciding on how we are going to deal with those emotions and subsequent reactions is the next step. Making lifestyle changes (in this case, moving) is always scary and stressful and always tests our will in the most horrific way for WLS folks - with food! We stress, we panic, we make bad food choices, we feel guilty, we make more bad food choices, and the cycle just continues...... But how do we make these feelings, emotions, etc. go away? If I had that answer, I'd be the wealthiest woman on earth, having discovered the secret of solving everyone's life problems!!! Sure wish that could be true, but then again.... where would the challenges in life be if we already knew all the answers??? You mentioned that you don't "feel" like you look like you should look 2 years post-op. How do you THINK you should look? We all had a perception of what our bodies would look like when we reached our goal weight (or got close), and I would be willing to bet that very few of us out there were actually right on target with that perception. I'm sure that you could ask any WLS person and they will tell you that they still "feel" fat even though the majority of the weight is gone. How is it that the human mind is the most complex, amazing thing in the world, yet it seems to be the very last thing to "catch up" following weight loss?!?!?! Fear not, sweetie.... things don't seem nearly as bad to me as they might to you right now. You are two years post-op and 18 months from having seen most of your former co-workers. My guess is that, regardless of a slight (and I REALLY mean slight!) weight gain, these people are not only going to see much LESS of the "you" they remember and much more of an emotionally strong, more self-confident woman than they ever remember you being in the past. You are going back a much different person - both outside and INSIDE! Remember that!!!! As for the weight gain... you are among friends here and I will tell you that you are also in the "norm" when it comes to slight weight gain, especially being two years post-op. Sadly, the statistics are very real and people do gain weight following surgery; however, you have recognized your issue of the weight gain very early on and are in no danger of not being able to recover from it! Ten pounds is ten pounds.... it's not THAT much to deal with. You can certainly take control of that with some planned meals and structured exercise. Both of those will also help with that stress level if it continues. Best of luck to you in your new adventure! Please check back with us often to let us know how things are going! Big hugs to you!!! Kristi

Kristi, Thank you for putting me back on track. Everything you said...I knew already but, sometimes, you just have to hear it again. At this point, I had hoped to be at goal (atleast 150) and looking towards some plastic surgery but I still have about 40-50lbs still to go. I am determined and I will make it eventually!! I was looking in my journal this time last year and found that I was about the same AND struggling with the same issues...why doesn't anything ever get resolved?? But, I know that, like AA, this will be a daily (and lifetime) struggle for me. We were given a tool...just a tool...not a magic wand (drat). I mentioned to someone who didn't know me that I had RNY surgery for weight loss, and his reply was "Oh, you cheated". That made me so mad!!! They just don't understand the daily struggle we continue to go through. Even though I keep before/after pictures on me and look back to remind myself of how far I've come...I still feel "fat". I take pictures of myself often and do side-by-side comparisons but I still have my "fat" days. You'd be surprised how just a few pounds off makes you feel incredibly sexy...so, I guess that's been off for awhile too. I think just facing my friends and co-workers who knew me when I was overweight (and haven't seen the struggle and work) may have more expectations of me than I do....they were not very supportive of the RNY decision anyways. Got up and walked for 45-min today, got my water/vitamins/protein in & got some good sleep....feel incredibly better (maybe even a little sexy???) Again, thanks for your words

How odd is it that we are hardest on ourselvs? You are right - sometimes hearing it from someone else is just the ticket we need to get things turned around! You go, girl!!!!! Hugs! Kristi

Hi Cindy - I am sorry you are going through this - we all have! But what I will say is, that I hope that this at least helps a little with the eating....the weight will come off again! I take in about 150+ grams of protein a day, but I have MANY mini-meals, and this is not only good for absorption, but it is so easy to tolerate in the pouch. For example: I woke up and had an Edge Cafe Caramel Protein Shake in the can...I like these, and it gives 15 grams of protein. Upon arrival to work, I had a sugar-free cinnamon Swirl instant oatmeal. Tasted great and went down nice and warm (it's raining here LOL)... In about an hour or so I will have a Snickers Marathon Low Carb Protein Bar - 15 grams of protein. Later, I will have another shake. And so on - you get the idea...I also eat very nice, balanced dinners which are always some type of meat, chicken, or fish, grilled or baked (not fried or breaded or anything like that), with some fresh veggies, and I usually stay away from high glycemic carbs like pasta, rice, potatoes and breads, although they are OK in small quantities... I find that by eating (NOT grazing, but planned eating) every couple of hours throughout the day, until I go to bed, my blood sugar stays great, I feel energized, I never get hungry, and my weight is constant and on track. Also, when I was in losing mode early on, and I was following this plan, I hardly ever had a plateau, and the weight came off steady and quickly, although I was also being quite active. Have a great day!! It will get better! Mike