On A Road Trip, And It's Been Rough

Hi, On a road trip cross country (just arrived in Santa Rosa, Ca last night). I haven't been very good about the food stuff. I'm eating weird again. I've already eaten a half a bag of Cheetos (old friend, evil friend), and have been munching on bits of fudge. I'm eating regular foods again (everything except rice and chicken breasts - too dry), and there is no taboo for me. I have the protein powder and the crunch bars, so why am I being so cruel to myself and eating junk? Plus, I seem to NEED to have a martini every night or so. Doesn't make sense. As soon as I get back home, I'm going in to see a shrink. I've maintained my loss of 125 pounds, but it keeps flucuating five pounds back and forth, so I know I can lose it with determination. To repeat what everyone should know - this surgery is not a magic bullet. If the mind doesn't change, the surgery won't make a lick of difference in the long run. Tayah

This surgery is a roller coaster. I bounce between 153 and 160lbs and I'm having to deal with issues of throwing up and having cramping and feeling sick all the time. I even gave up my night job as I felt it was effecting my health and I'm still having tummy problems My husband and girlfriend think I'm anorexic because I force myself to to get sick and that's only when my pouch hurts and I start feeling sick. I can't stand that feeling I get in my pouch so my finger goes down my throat and sometimes it's 2, 3 times a day. Now they have me questioning myself if I'm actaully bringing on these problems myself as I once was anorexic but that was years ago in my early 20's. I do have the fear of gaining my weight back but I think we all have that fear once you go through WLS. That fear of failure in everyones eyes. Oh look at her. She went through surgery and is now gaining it all back. I'll probably be going in to see my surgeon in the near future if this don't stop. I wish you all the luck in the world. Donna