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Topic: RE: Proctology 101
I am female and I'd take a female exam anyday than one of those! LOL.
That was absolutely hilarious. 
I don't think my husband found my laughing out loud funny though.......My computer is right next to our bed and he's trying to sleep, lol. 
Robin 
I don't think my husband found my laughing out loud funny though.......My computer is right next to our bed and he's trying to sleep, lol.
Robin 
Topic: RE: Proctology 101
Ken,
That made me smile.
I have to tell you tho... men still don't have a clue as to what women go thru on a a annual basis, I would love for every man to just go thru one round of our female exams!!!
Thanks for the chuckle!
Patti
a 42 day ride to my surgery date
a 42 day ride to my surgery date 
Topic: Proctology 101
For those of us in the process or who have been through the process.
Ken 
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A physician claims that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopy:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there."
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A physician claims that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopy:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there." Topic: Only in Texas
This came from a friend in Indiana.
Ken
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Only a Texan could think of this ... from the State where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Bandera, Texas. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other
patron vehicles left. At last, the parking lot was empty, he pulled out
of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.
The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Texan. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
Topic: RE: Well, I made the call!
you don't give it all up for long it all depends (always wear one though) on what you body can handle. Somedays its good some days its bad. SSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Listen to your new tummy talking.
linda
Topic: RE: The Biblical Wisdom (??) of Children!
I really need to read this it was a great gig help today
Topic: Children in church
The minister was in the pulpit to begin his sermon. He starts out with "Without our Lord and Savior we are nothing but dust".
At this point it was the quietest moment in the church and a little girl looks up at her mommy with a booming voice and says
"mommy, what is Butt Dust?"
Topic: RE: The Biblical Wisdom (??) of Children!
This is great, I haven't laughed so much in a long time. I actually had tears running down my face for some of them.
Margo D.
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