Recent Posts
Topic: Life's Eternal Questions
Life's Eternal Questions
I had amnesia once -- maybe twice.
Photons have mass? I didn't even know they
were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make
me happy.
If the world was a logical place, men would
ride horses sidesaddle.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible.... and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous
in the home and, when he grows up, he'll
never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
Two can live as cheaply as one, but for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left
when everything else is gone.
One nice thing about egotists...
they don't talk about other people.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Is there another word for synonym?
The speed of time is one second per second.
If swimming is so good for your figure,
how do you explain whales?
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings
taste like chicken?
Topic: RE: Well, I made the call!
You don't have to give up all your fave foods for this surgery. I have two best friends that still eat regular food, but just in small portions. That's all. I'm looking forward to that new way of life. I won't feel deprived because I will be able to eat what I want, and what my body doesn't want - well, my body will let me know and I'll remember that and not want that certain food the same way anymore. (At least I hope)
GLad you made call and I hope your consult is soon! Keep us posted!
Topic: RE: Sweet Potatoes
LOL Maybe a scaredy-tatter......he's too afraid to fly. However, I guess being a tot, not much flying is inolved.
Topic: Sweet Potatoes
One day a father potatoe was talking with his three daughters when the oldest said daddy I have news I am engaged The father asked who the young potatoe is, she said he is a sweet potatoe. The father said sweet potatoes are good have lots of beta-carrrotene and are very sweet indeed and she had his permission. The second oldest daughter said daddy I too am engaged,. The father saked what sort of potatoe she was betrothed to and she proudly anounced she was to marry an Idaho potatoe. The father said Idaho potatoes are the best money could buy and had lots of vitamins and were very tatsey, therefore they had the fathers bleesings. The youngest of the 3 said daddy I too am going to be married. the father gently asked his young daughter who it was she would marry. The baby potatoe stated she was to marry John Madden.
JOHN MADDEN the father exclaimed....JOHN MADDEN HOW COULD YOU MARRY JOHN MADDEN!!!!!!!!!!! WHY HE'S NOTHING MORE THAN A
COMMON TATER11111111
Jim open RNY 10/27/03-210lbs
Topic: Well, I made the call!
Well, I made the call and am now waiting for the surgeon's office to call me back. If anyone out there has used Dr. Gibbs, in Little Rock, Ar, please let me know long it takes to hear from them. I am sooo ready to get started!
I have spent hours on this site, and some of it is really SCARY! Not the surgery or the possible complications, but the lack of food that you can eat. When they say little portions they are not just kidding! And what, absolutely No sweets, YUCK! I cannot imagine eating 1, yes one, ouce of food. I have picked that much out from under my fingernails after a good barbecue, tee-hee.But, it does go up as you progress,WOW to a whole 2 ounces! It seems hard to imagine that you can actually be full after that LITTLE, but from what I am reading, you sure are.I guesss it will give you something to look forward to, losing weight and eating until you are full.( Me thinks me tummy neurons have gone on break or forgot to spell FULL)
Well, I guess it is BYE BYE Mexican food, SO LONG potato chips and SAYONARA to DONUTS????!
I just try to picture myself at 117 lbs. Boobs are now just a part of the rolls of skin hiding deeply somewhere , where my thighs used to be. I will still have to buy a large bra, to roll up the flab from my arms and stick it in there.And guess what?,That's probably where the second and third chins will have to go, better buy bigger bras!Just hope the wrinkles don't come! Nah, they will be too far down my rib cage and in my bra to notice. As for the drooping eye lids, I'll just get Collagen injections and use them for lips. Ah, the wonderful results of significant weight loss!
Bring it on, BABY, I am so excited to join the others out there with the same problems, WHAT A BLESSING! It sure beats visiting Omar the tent maker!
Hope this didn't offend anyone, I really am looking forward to the surgery!
Topic: FAVORITE "YOU KNOW YOUR FROM....." SAYING
This one is my favorite...
You Know You're From New Mexico When...
You buy salsa by the gallon.
You are still using the paper license tag that came with your car five years ago.
Your favorite restaurant has a chile list instead of a wine list.
You do all your shopping and banking at a drive-up window.
Your Christmas decorations include "a yard of sand and 200 paper bags".
You have license plates on your walls, but not on your car.
Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los".
You remember when Santa Fe was not like San Francisco.
You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.
The tires on your roof have more tread than the ones on your car.
You price-shop for tortillas.
You have an extra freezer just for green chile.
You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
You believe that using a turn signal is a sign of weakness.
You don't make eye contact with other drivers because you can't tell how well armed they are just by looking.
You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn.
You have to sign a waiver to buy hot coffee at a drive-up window.
You ran for state legislature so you can speed legally.
You pass on the right because that's the fast-lane.
You have read a book while driving from Albuquerque to Las Vegas.
You know they don't skate at the Ice House and the Newsstand doesn't sell newspapers.
You think Sadies was better when it was in the bowling alley.
You have used aluminum foil and duct tape to repair your air conditioner.
You can't control your car on wet pavement.
There is a piece of a UFO displayed in your home.
You know that The Jesus Tortilla is not a band.
You wish you had invested in the orange barrel business.
You just got your fifth DWI and got el! ected to the state legislature in the same week.
Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.
You have been on TV more than three times telling about how your neighbor was shot or about your alien abduction.
You can actually hear the Taos hum.
All your out-of-state friends and relatives visit in October.
You know Vegas is a town in the northeastern part of the state.
You are afraid to drive through Mora and Espanola.
You iron your jeans to "dress up".
You don't see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales.
Your other vehicle is also a pick-up truck.
Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature and the other in the state pen.
You know the punch line to at least one Espanola joke.
Your car is missing a fender or bumper.
You have driven to an Indian Casino at 3am because you were hungry.
You think the Lobos fight song is "Louie, Louie"
You! know whether you want "red or green."
You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer pot-holes.
You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos, and Pojoaque.
You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you extra for "international" shipping.
You expect to pay more if your house is made of mud.
You can order your Big Mac with green chile.
You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence alternates between Spanish and English.
You associate bridges with mud, no****er.
You know you will run into at least 3 cousins whenever you shop at Wal-Mart, Sam's or Home Depot.
Tumbleweeds and various cacti in your yard are not weeds. They are your lawn.
If you travel anywhere, no matter if just to run to the gas station, you must bring along a bottle of water and some moisturizer.
Trailers are not referred to as trailers. They are houses. Double-wide trailers are "real" houses.
A package of white flour tortillas is the exact same thing as a loaf of bread. You don't need to write it on your shopping list; it's a given.
At any gathering, regardless of size, green chile stew, tortillas, and huge mounds of shredded cheese are mandatory.
Prosperity can be readily determined by the number of horses you own.
A tarantula on your porch is ordinary. A scorpion in your tub is ordinary. A poisonous centipede on your ceiling? Ordinary. A black widow crawling across your bed is terribly, terribly common. A rattlesnake is an occasional hiking hazard. No need to freak out.
Topic: The first Confession
A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
"You will understand," he said, "the seal of the confessional can never be broken, however I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here 25 years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer! Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss's wife. I was appalled! But as the days went on, I learned that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of understanding and loving people."
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honour of being the first one to go to him in confession."
Topic: RE: Stolen from the Main Board
Danny that is too funny. I working in a nursing home for almost 20 years and I got a mental image of every little ol man I took care of calling out the hymn. Thanks for the giggles....
Wanda