In Loving Memory of the Great Johnny Carson - Enjoy These!!!!

Fresh from the hermeticly sealed mayonaise jar kept on Aunt Lucy's porch, Heeeeeeeeeres Johnny ! ! ! ! CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT (Johnny Carson, 1925-2005: WE HARDLY KNEW YOU. YOU'LL BE GREATLY MISSED!!) ANSWER: Gatorade. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? ANSWER: Bible belt. QUESTION: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? ANSWER: Milk and honey. QUESTION: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? ANSWER: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. QUESTION: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. ANSWER: Black and white and twenty feet tall. QUESTION: Describe Sister Mary Kong. ANSWER: Ben Gay. QUESTION: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? ANSWER: An unmarried woman. QUESTION: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, 1952? ANSWER: Disjoint. QUESTION: What was dat hippie smoking? ANSWER: The Laughing Policeman. QUESTION: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. ANSWER: Until he gets caught. QUESTION: How long does a United States Congressman serve? ANSWER: Old wives tale. QUESTION: What do cannibals find hard to digest? ANSWER: Rub-a-dub-dub. QUESTION: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? ANSWER: Shareholder. QUESTION: What did Sonny Bono used to be? ANSWER: Skalliwags. QUESTION: What does your skalli do when it's happy? ANSWER: David Frost. QUESTION: On a cold morning what forms on your david? ANSWER: Head and shoulders. QUESTION: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's car? ANSWER: Hickory Dickory Dock. QUESTION: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory dickory? ANSWER: "Rose Bowl." QUESTION: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling alley? ANSWER: That darn cat. QUESTION: Who ruined that darn rug? ANSWER: High rollers. QUESTION: Describe a stoned bowling team. ANSWER: Gunga din. QUESTION: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? ANSWER: "Follow the yellow brick road." QUESTION: What are good directions to a urologist's office? ANSWER: At both ends. QUESTION: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? ANSWER: Igloo. QUESTION: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? ANSWER: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. QUESTION: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? ANSWER: Grape Nuts. QUESTION: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? ANSWER: Supervisor. QUESTION: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his eyes? ANSWER: Crabgrass. QUESTION: What do crabs get high on? ANSWER: Shake-N-Bake. QUESTION: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The Towering Inferno. ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? ANSWER: Flypaper. QUESTION: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? ANSWER: Deep freeze. QUESTION: Name an Eskimo ***** film. ANSWER: Bedbug. QUESTION: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker?