there's wisdom hidden here

> There's wisdom in here someplace..... > > > 1. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without >it. > > 2. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there >the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again. > > 3. I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem. > > 4. My reality cheque bounced. > > 5. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape >key. > > 6. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier! > > 7. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut >butter. > > 8. Everyone is someone else's weirdo. > > 9. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to the! ir level then >beat you with experience. > > 10. Be careful... a pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a >kick in the butt. > > 11. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you won't be >promoted. > > 12. The more crap you put up with, the more of it you are going to >get. > > 13. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a >clipboard. > > 14. So this isn't Home Sweet Home..... Adjust! > > 15. Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself. > > 16. I came, I saw, I decided to order take out. > > 17. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall >never cease to be amused. > > 18. I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed >bump