Daily Post--8/26/08

This one sort of follows along the same thought train from the one for Saturday...

Do you forget how big you really were until you see a picture from before your surgery/weight loss? Does everyone else seem to forget? When you look in the mirror is the same person looking back at you that was looking at you pre op? 

I know my best friend is the same on this.  We didn't truly realize how large we were.  Now, everytime she tells me she feels like she's not lost significant weight, I whip out her before picture.  There's no denying the difference then!  The same with me.... I'm actually disgusted when I look at my old pictures.  Even my wedding video - I feel like I was a monster.

I don't know about everyone else, but I know that I will never forget how big I was and how bad I looked.  And yes, sometimes it's the preop person looking back at me, but not always. 

I sometimes need to look at a before and after pic just so that I can visualize the difference.  My brother just told me on Friday he is amazed at the difference and doesnt know if he can get used to the skinny sister.
Vivienne

 

Even though its only been 6 weeks, I can't believe how much thinner I look.  I can't wait til I'm further along.  Ask the question again in 6 months. :-)

---jan---

I forget sometimes that I'm less than half the person I used to be.  When I see someone that hasn't seen me since pre-WLS, I am always taken aback by their reactions.  Sometimes, I feel a little offended that they don't know who I am, until I realize that I am completely different now.  I kept a few of my old outfits, and whenever I run across them in my closet, I am shocked at how big they were (and I was!).  I don't like to look at pictures, though, because they make me feel so bad. 

When I look in the mirror now, I see a normal-sized woman.  It took quite some time, but I'm there now.  The only problem is that I still feel like I look "fat" in pictures.  Weird, I know...  but I guess I just don't care for pictures of myself. 

When I look in the mirror I still see a "big" girl...not as big as I was but not where I ought to be...I can't forget how large I was....I can't forget how hard it was to walk...to breathe....to go out in public...I am the same person...a few sizes smaller and healthier by far...but I am that same girl - have the same "issues"...and I struggle every single day and will for the rest of my life.

I am ashammed of myself for allowing myself to be so obese.  I still struggle not to see that person in the mirror everyday.

The person in the mirror is not the same as before wls.  However, she still looks chubby to me.  I see her every flaw.  I'm learning to love her and accept her.  I'm still trying to figure out who she is.  Her personality has changed, she smiles more and smiles real smiles from her heart, she loves more, she's happy and filled with joy now.  I like her.  I want her to continue to thrive and live and one day realize her full potential.

Funny that this one comes up now.  I was in Home Depot the other night and walked by a mirror and didn't recognize myself.  It was kind of eerie.  Then, I was injured at work last week and am going to a chiropractor.  He asked me if I would bring in a picture of my "former self" and so I did yesterday.  The look on his face, wow.  It stil hasn't settled in my head yet, this new me.