Daily Post--5/25/08

My worst fear is regaining. I'm so terribly scared to ruin this wonderful tool I was given and the success I have had. Right now I'm overly cautious most of the time...sometime I screw up...sometimes BIGTIME. I'm human and need to feel normal and make bad choices but for the most part I follow what my body tells me.

My biggest fear was dying from the surgery....so far that hasn't happened yet.

Since I had had a previous heart attack, i was afraid of having a heart attack and dying during or right after surgery. But after much prayer, i felt a real sense of peace and going into surgery, I felt very calm and not worried at all.

I was afraid of the extra expenses - having to buy more meats and less fast food, needing vitamins, having to buy new clothes all the time, etc. Yes, it has been expensive, but at the same time, it's been worth every penny, and because I eat so much less than before, my food costs are about the same as they were pre-surgery. I would do it again in a heartbeat, even if it had cost twice as much!

I think I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to enjoy all of my favorite foods ever again. I am now able to eat just about anything I want, but to some degree, my fear became my reality. But it's not the bad thing that I thought it was going to be. It's more that I don't want those foods anymore. Unfortunately, that fear caused me to wait longer to have the surgery than I would have had to had I not worried about food, and that I regret.