Daily Post--5/17/08

From a participant: How do you respond to all the compliments and comments about how good you're looking. It's making me really uncomfortable and people want to go on and on about it. I'm trying to be gracious about it because I know they'll get used to it and stop eventually...I wonder if I'll miss it when it does stop.

I am quite uncomfortable with it as well..especially when I am feeling especially fat..like today...got several compliments..you would think it would boost my self-esteem..but it just kinda makes me want to hide!

I just say thank you. I havent had anyone really say anything or ask anything that has made me uncomfortable. Vivienne

I've never been one to take a compliment, so it's been really hard to learn, but I've gotten pretty good at just saying "thank you!" and moving on... When someone says I look great, I usually respond by saying "I FEEL great - thanks!".

How I respond depends on who it is. If it's someone I'm comfortable sharing with, then my response is a lot more welcoming. If not, they get a polite "thank you". If I get the person that goes on and on, I sit there and I "memorize" it, because I know that someday I won't be getting such effusive praise and I will use these memories instead. Kind of like an emotional savings account.

I just try to say thank you. Tonight I ran into a an old friend I haven't seen in a year or so and she walked right by me. I stopped her and said hi and she just looked at me. I had to tell her who I was. At first I was a little sad that she didn't know me, then when it clicked who I was, she went on and on about how it couldn't be me, etc. She didn't recognize me! Still shocks me...

It is very difficult and it doesn't get easier, sorry to say (at least for me). The comments went from how good I looked to how skinny I am to your "too skinny". My friends are wonderful supporters and without them I wouldn't have been such a successful WLS patient (lost 115% of my excess). I simply acknowledge the compliment or remark with a thank you ~ even the "too skinny" ones because to me those are the most rewarding compliments.

I just smile, and say thank you. When they ask how I have done it I say exercise and hard work, as this is hard work. Making better choices is never easy!!

When people compliment me, it takes all I have to just quietly say "thank you". I seem to want to say more but I feel weird. I feel like I have to add more like..."I'm trying!" or something on that order. Why? I feel like I have to make excuses or something for looking better than I used to ...but still not as good as I should. If they want to know how I did it, I tell them that I had weight loss surgery but then i make excuses that I have only lost 85 pounds and how I should have lost over 100 but I am still working on it so they think soon I will look better. It's like I don't accept myself as I am right now. I just don't see myself as being thin. 163 pounds is not thin in my mind....I grew up thinking women should weigh 120-130 pounds. And my size 10 clothes years ago would have been a 12 or 14 until they changed their sizing. So if I wear a real size 14....I am still fat. In my mind. This is a battle for me. I really have to find a way to accept myself as looking good and ignore the weight and dress size!

I say thank you with a smile and that I appreciate the compliment. The only thing that bothers me is I am still the same person only 76 pounds lighter. Whay am I SO much better now just because I am not as heavy?