Daily Post--3/28/08
Ab-so-freakin-lutely!!! Been there, done that..this surgery is not something that can't be undone by bad behaviors...that is why I am a faithful poster here...I want to instill good habits early on and make myself continue with them on this journey for the rest of my life..You will never hear me say "gone forever" as I hear so frequently on these boards...but you will hear me say that I will do my best to work my tool and stay focused on why I did this to myself in the first place.
Scared? No... Concerned? Of course!
I've learned so much about nutrition and proper eating habits, and about myself, that I don't believe I'll ever let myself get to that condition again. Having been "normal" now, I will never lose that again!
Having said that, sure, I will gain a few pounds now and then, like now, during stressful times. But I know how to lose it now. I can (and do) exercise now. There is no way I will return to that self-imposed prison called morbid obesity.
Im definitely scared of it.... I am scared of not reaching goal and if I do I am sooooo afraid of not being able to stay there and then this will all have been for nothing and if that were to happen I would really not even know what to do with myself..... but I have a heart on my fridge that says on it One Day at a Time and as I do realize this is usually the motto for AA and NA I do really think it applies here as well.... I look at that every morning when I make my breakfast and I think yes all I have to do is take this One Day at a Time and I will succeed at it..... when you think of it that way it doesn't seem as much of a huge undertaking..... when you think of everyday for the rest of your life it seems very intimidating.... I also don't want to always beat myself up over having a minor set back so I renew myself every morning so that if I did do something I regretted from the day before I can start anew today..... Today really is the 1st day of the rest of your life.... it's up to you to make the most of it!!!!!
Yes I'm very scared. First of all, I've never been able to reach my goal weight in the past, so I'm not even sure I can do that. Second, I've never been able to keep off any of the weight that I have lost in the past. That's my track record and all I have to go on. Having said that, I am trying to do everything my doctors have told me to do, so I hope that this time I will be successful. But that fear is always there.