Daily Post--3/26/08

Another one from the gang! If you're single, do you find the kind of relationship you're looking for is different or do you think you're looking for the same person as before?

Well I'm not single but I have to say that if I was I would be looking for a relationship that was different than what I have now. At times I think that I don't have mu*****ommon with my husband anymore and it would be nice to have someone that was interested in some of the same things as I am and was as active as I am. Michelle

Not single, but I do have thoughts on this based on what I've been reading from some people. I think as obese people, we learned to "settle" for what we could get in a lot of areas of our lives. Healthy self esteem doesn't exactly run rampant through the obese population, does it? It wouldn't surprise me to learn that people look for more in a relationship post op.

I'm not single but I wouldn't want anyone different. My wonderful hubby has loved me at all the different weights I have been, including my heaviest ever!! I wouldn't want to be with someone who wouldn't have even looked twice at me when I was 86 pounds heavier!!

I'm not single, but I would still look at my husband the same. When we first met, I was about 40 pounds heavier than I am now; chubby, but not morbidly obese. He loved me then and loved me at my heaviest of over 300 lbs. I would honestly hope that I still have the same values; however, I have to say that I wish he would become more active and want to do more of the things I do now instead of me having to settle and do whatever he wants. Michele

I am single, and have been for many years (never married, but have had other relationships). Prior to WLS, I wasn't looking for any relationship - I didn't feel that anyone would be attracted to me. About six months ago (about a year after WLS), I started dating. At first, I was attracted to heavier, taller men. I'm just 5'2" and described as "tiny" (I love that!). A few months ago, I think I found "the one"! He's not a big guy - and we fit together perfectly. He has been absolutely wonderful about my insecurities, and tells me all the time that I'm beautiful and that I'm his "trophy girlfriend"... HA! Me?? I tell him that love truly is blind! I always thought I hated the beach - and that's where Curt took me on our first date... guess what? I don't hate the beach any more. No, I won't be frolicking in a bikini this summer, but I don't feel conspicuous anymore. I don't mind trudging through the sand - heck, I loved it! We've been back several times now - it's the most romantic place and we love returning to the spot where we shared our first kiss. Ok - I'm starting to get corny, but I feel like a kid again... Thanks for letting me spill my guts about my amazing new love!

Good question! I'm not really sure on this one. My current boyfriend is someone I dated also when I was at my highest weight. It matters not to him how big I am Back then, he as about 190 lbs. But now that we have recently connected, his weight has dramatically increased. And of course I don't care about that. I love the man So, I'm not sure if the feelings for him just never went away, OR maybe I'm just in my comfort zone with at least one of us being big. Weird, I never really thought about it lol

I am single and have been for 17 years now. I had stopped dating 8 years ago for a variety of reasons - the guys that wanted to date me were all jerks, I was so overweight and felt so bad about myself, had issues from past relationships to deal with. I didn't think I would ever want to date again and definitely never get married again. Now, well, lets just say I am so ready to start dating again, and marriage? Well, that one is still debatable, but at least I am considering it a possibility. Am I looking for someone different? No, I have always wanted a man with the same qualities I want now. I may have changed on the outside and a lot about me has changed on the inside, but my values and beliefs are still the same and I still want a man with similar values and beliefs. I deserve God's best for me and am willing to wait for him.

I'm married to a guy I'd marry all over again. He's funny, and talented and he's just the kind of guy I'd always imagined myself with. We met when we were 40 so we'd made our mistakes.

I am not single but my husband loved me heavy and accepted me and I can't imagine wanting to not share my new freedoms with him and only him...good men aren't that easy to find you know and I got a good one!