Daily Post--3/18/08

I blame my MOM. When I was growing up she always bought me stretch clothes saying I was bigger then my sister. So my tops all lood like maturnity tops. My pants were double knit. My sister got cottons and frill. I would sneek and try on her things and they fit, I was just shorter. I am about .4 shorter. She even went with my sister to get me a derss when I got married. Yep it was a long maturnity like dress peach with a white front panel she said it would hide my "FAT". I was a size 8 then. Kids I went to school with even rumored I was pregnat now I know this related to my clothes. If you wear it it must be true! So growing up mom had me on one diet after another. I can remeber she made homemade pizza once, I wasn't allowed any I was served hot broth and a handfull of mushrooms. I had to do all the mowing for exercise. So I think I grew up with a complex about feeling fat and I thought it was who I was. I know better now. I know she did not understand we were the same size I was just shorter. I will still snea****asionally into something that was forbidden and then I remember I can have that I just don't need the whole bag, I can have a little now and off I go HAPPY. Genetic does play some in my adulthood weight but it not the main reason. I love my mom and I do forgive her for not being educated. She did not go beyond 6th grade. WE now teach her when she is off the "wall" with her thoughts!!!! Thanks that felt good. I don't think I have told even my kids this!!

Emotional eating. This is very hard for me to break, but easy for me to recognize. I journal when I recognize it and look back on how I felt and what I ate at the time.

Well, genetics is a big part of it... but emotional eating had a lot to do with it. I believe that I am a stronger person now, so that I can control my emotions and responses to them better. I have done a lot of soul searching the past couple of years, and I think I am a different, better person than I used to be. I just need to let that confidence drive me, and my pride in my accomplishments will help keep me on track. Vivienne

IT WAS ME!!!! I was the one keeping myself obese. The other times I lost weight and would get close to my goal I would gain it back. I have been through therapy to help me deal with this. I had an issue in my past when I was 13 where my friends step dad tried to molest me and I developed early so I was thin and was developed and getting alot of male attention so after the incident I started gaining weight. It was a defense to protect myself. I know now that I felt guilty because I thought it was my fault because of how I looked and if I was overweight then I didn't get attention like that. So everytime I got close to a low weight that deep-seeded defense went up and would cause me to gain it back. I am still dealing with that issue on an ongoing basis but at least now I recognize it which makes it alot easier to deal with.

The biggest factor was definitely my addiction to food. I ate for the fun of it. I ate just to eat. It made me feel good, it was my drug of choice -- it helped me feel relaxed, happy, calm. Sigh. I'm afraid I don't have a good grip on it. Right now it's not too much of a problem because I can't eat that much. I'm nervous though, about the days when that won't be as true. I am working on my addiction, and it's definitely better, and I hope it keeps getting better, so when that day comes I'll have the tools in place to deal. This was a really good question.

Genetics ~ maybe a little. Emotional ~ oh yeah. Stress ~ yeap. I journal and am trying to get a handle on the problem. I think it will be a life long battle. Jules

I have no idea.. but I'm sure genetics didn't help

I would do great on weigh****chers, or other diets. At least, until I lost about thirty pounds. Then the weight loss just STOPPED. Dead in its tracks. And then I'd give up, gain it back and lose it again. Now, I have more faith, and more discipline. I try not to let stalls get me down, and I keep pushing forward.

Genetics - It is hard but I just keep a leash on myself at family get togethers

There are/were several, starting with PCOS and then Hypothyroid. But in general the hopelessness that I would never succeed was the final killer. It's still hard for me to process that this is going to work. Surgery has given me hope and the rest is up to me.