Daily Post--3/15/08

I think I am the same person as I've always been, I just kept that person locked away. I never really ventured out to do the things that I love to do, like dancing or just going to parties. Even clothes shopping was tough before. I always loved doing those things, but I was too self-conscious before to actually do them. Now I feel like I blend in with the others around me (instead of feeling like the fattest person in the room who everyone is lookingg at).

I have to say, some of the changes I see in myself I haven't liked. I'm a lot less patient with people making excuses for not taking care of themselves, and I know that's wrong, because everyone has their own journey. I simply didn't know about this surgery until a couple of years ago, or I would have jumped at the chance. I didn't know there was hope. But, there are people, (like some I work with) that are really sick, (like respiratory illnesses) and still smoke, for example. That's kind of a lame example, but now that I'm on the verge of recovering my health, I look at people who don't have the albatross that I have and I get so frustrated because I can see where they are going with this, and I think MAN, I HAD TO HAVE SURGERY TO GET THIS DONE AND YOU DON'T AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A GIFT THAT IS. I watch people gobble down mega portions of junk food at the movies and I get so pissed! At first, I thought it was envy, but now I don't think so. I don't want that crap, in fact in scares the bejesus out of me. Maybe that's part of my problem, I don't know, but I'm continuing to explore this one, and maybe someday I'll find an answer that makes sense to me. Thank you for posting this question. It gives me something to reflect on.

Basically I am still the same old me. I feel better about myself which I think makes me a happier person, but ultimately I am still me.

I think I am still the same inside. I guess I have always been to dense to accept the fact that people were judgeing me. Alice

I haven't lost that much weight yet, compared to what I need to lose, but I can already tell that I have more confidence at times when I didn't have much at all. I was always confident when it came to some things, but then other things intimidated me I guess. Like going to the gym. I always thought people would look at me like I was a circus performer or something. You know, the fat girl working out. But now I feel like any other member. I workout harder than some of the skinnier ones too. LOL

I am not as angry inside as I used to be. I can actually not go off at the slightest thing that upsets me. Carla

I am a lot more confident, happier, and have lots more energy! I feel proud of myself and even feel pretty more often. Jolene

I hope I'm not that different. That's one of the things that worried me a little before surgery. I am definitely more will to try new things though, and I have more energy and I feel really good most of the time. Hmm...so I guess I have changed!

I'm very much the same person only with a little more confidence, most of the time

I've changed... I'm not willing to lay back and take the crap. I've been labeled a b**ch at times but I"m willing to stand up and fight now. I've been taken advantage of for so long I guess I really surprised a few folks; hubby included. He's teased me for years - not anymore. I yearn to run and play but still have some physical things preventing it, but someday!! --Lori